Viewing Emotional Chastity through Fictional Characters

Quick apology about the lack of posts and activity here lately. More about that later... For now, I spontaneously felt like sharing some feelings and thoughts milling about my head today. 

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OK, I mean, come on: how cute are they?

If you know me in real life, then you probably know I have a small place in my heart for science fiction. Maybe it’s the fact I’m a scientist, or that I have a big imagination. But while I love my British historical fiction, my current “mini-obsession” for the entrance into summer is the ABC show “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.,” a spin-off from the Marvel “Avengers” franchise. While the series is overly violent and frequently makes me mad because the evil forces are just so powerful and cunning, one of the best parts to me is the science dynamic-duo consisting of characters Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons, or “FitzSimmons.” 

I can’t tell you how often I go for the science-nerds in TV shows or movies. This instance is no different. The two characters enter the series with a deep friendship, like brother-sister bond, and serve as comic relief with their adventures helping the team escape from dangerous missions. Throughout the first season, we see how much they really care for each other – and they’re close enough that in one scene they’re bickering or arguing, and in the other they’re saving each other’s lives and saying sweet things to each other.

Fitz and Simmons both proclaim each other to be best friends in the whole world. That is evident in the way they interact and work for the better of the other person.

As the season progresses it begins to be clear that Fitz cares a little more for Jemma Simmons, triggered by the emergence of a new operations officer who Simmons takes a small fancy too. Fitz is definitely jealous of the interest Agent Triplett holds and wonders why he’s so special. We don’t get any professions of love from Fitz though – just more caring looks and jealousy on his part.

That is, until the Season finale. I don’t want to spoil it too much – since if you’re into this sort of genre, I recommend the series – but Fitz ends up showing Simmons – with his life – how he really feels.

OK. Cue tears and all the emotional feels. I definitely like to live vicariously through other people’s relationships. Even fictional ones. I want them to get together! They’re both so innocent, and don’t really even understand their feelings or what to do with them. Yet my mind will be satisfied with nothing less than a reunion and a romantic love story between the two.

But this got me thinking. Before realizing there was something more romantic on the part of Fitz for his best friend in the world, I was happy to see them love each other platonically. It was refreshing to see a male-female duo live and work beside each other just as friends. But I think that culture has trained us to hope for nothing short of romance between two compatible characters. And the carry those hopes to real life too.

How many times have you seen friends tease a girl about how good she’d be with her best guy friend? “You’re both so great together and so compatible! You have to get together!”

And then the girl begins to wonder if maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. We want to see other people get together and be perfect, happy couples. We “ship” characters on TV. I’ll be honest: I’m shipping FitzSimmons very much right now, and eagerly await season 2. I have a sinking feeling we won’t get the happy ending that’s expected, and I’m bracing myself for the frustration that brings me as I watch through the next season.

But let me go back to uncover the problem here. We’re almost not OK with having a platonic male-female duo. We want any possibility of character chemistry to resolve into romance.

I don’t really think that’s real life though. Real life is hard, and yes, we frequently have feelings for other people that we don’t quite understand. But that doesn’t mean every girl-guy friendship should turn romantic. What is that saying regarding our thoughts about “emotional chastity?” I’m pretty sure projecting our desires for romance onto other character pairings isn’t entirely healthy when those desires become more serious than playful.

And so I’m writing about this. Writing helps me process things, step back from emotions, evaluate the situation. Because isn’t self-sacrifice more important than romantic feelings?

How can we expect to live out chastity in our own lives when we don’t expect characters in TV or movies to act the same? Yes, we’ve come to anticipate risqué relationships in television. From a distance they almost seem romantic. You want the two characters to get together…say the romantic things…do the “romantic” things….

Um. Yeah. Not so good though.

I think that may be why I was so easily attracted to the FitzSimmons relationship – they were platonic throughout nearly the entire first season. They truly cared about each other, and sacrificed for each other. But that doesn’t mean they need to end up together! As much as it would make my heart so much happier in my chest. Real life isn’t like that, and we can’t project our desires for romance onto other couples, especially not fictional couples. It may seem like a safe outlet, but I think ultimately it’s messing with our minds and emotions a little more than is healthy.

I’m curious to hear what you think about fictional couples and their relationships, or lack thereof. Why can’t we all just rest easy, and enjoy a platonic couple – demonstrating real service and love through their actions – without also desiring a romantic conclusion?

Love One Another

---by Shannon Riordan

I’ve come to notice more and more how often I catch myself making assumptions and judging not only the people I know, but even perfect strangers! It’s a shameful downfall that I fight against daily and as a result I have learned a very important lesson. 

Recently, I attended a short evening retreat given by my college campus ministry, focusing on the topic of family. While I was there listening to others talk about their families, something hit me. Everyone has heard of dysfunctional families and how indifference, hate, and absence can destroy a family from the inside out. But what about the families who allow wholesome, courageous, abundant, and strengthening, genuine love to just work passively in their familial relationships rather than letting it actively flourish? 

No matter who you are or how “perfect” your family may seem, there is always someone who is missing the true meaning of loving one’s family. Maybe there is a family member who you love because their family, but liking them is another story altogether. Or the family member who you care for dearly, but from whom you are shown little love in return or are met with total indifference. Or maybe you’re a college student who now that you’re living away from home, no longer feels the need to remain connected with your family except for the occasional holiday break. Or maybe you are enjoying the company of your family, but without fully appreciating their love and support. 

Whatever the case may be, we all struggle with a situation in which we do not fully realize or understand something very integral to family life and the life of a Christian. And that is the fact that God specifically placed you in the family you are a member of. Equally true is that fact that each and every one of us was made in the Image and Likeness of God and therefore, He is reflected in us all. Now we don’t always exude this fact, especially during instances of sin. Nevertheless, what if I were to say to you that in knowing and loving your family more, you were actually getting a fuller and deeper understanding of God Himself?

Imagine that all the people in your life, family, friends, acquaintances, and even all the perfect strangers that you have ever met, were all singularly unique puzzle pieces to the Divine Image to which Our Lord wished for you to see and put together in order to experience a closer, deeper understanding and love of His Divine Being? Did your mind just explode with this amazing realization?! I know mine did when this idea first took root.

This amazingly unique opportunity to love the flaws and singularity of every individual because they are reflections of God Himself, offers us an even deeper meaning to Christ’s command that we love one another; for He has chosen to dwell in each of us.

So instead of assuming and judging others, let us first think what is it Christ wishes me to learn from this brother/sister of mine? Or even better, what is it Christ wishes for me to reveal about His Love to this person? I encourage you to take this idea to prayer and ask the Lord what it is He wishes you to see, learn, and love in each of your family members and all those you encounter. I assure you that you will be astounded by the abundance of grace God will pour on you in reply.

Shannon Riordan is just an ordinary 21 year old cradle-Catholic, sister to two siblings, daughter to two wonderful parents, and college senior still trying to decide what she wants to do after graduation!

The Truth about Guys

When it comes to emotions and matters of the heart, Life suddenly becomes Very Complicated. I know, girls. I've been there.

Here's a few things I've learned along the way...no doubt I'll learn many new ones. I've a sneaking suspicion Life gets even more Complicated when it comes to the opposite sex as you get older. But here's some of the ones I've picked up so far.

Boys are very different from girls.

You'll rant and rave and burst into tears about it, but it's really better if you just accept the hopeless, unchangeable truth now.

Listening to slow love songs (and country songs) when you're feeling a bit neglected or heartbroken. Is. Always. A. Bad. Idea.

You'll probably do it anyways - because who doesn't love making themselves feel miserable? - but it's really not smart. It never makes anything better. Just makes you need a box of tissues and alllll the chocolate. So save the love songs when you're much more cheerful and full of pep and optimism.

Watching romantic movies.

See above. Sobbing through About Time or Pride and Prejudice when you're already heartbroken to begin with is just a baaaaaad idea. 

That boy that you're over the moon about, the one you're imagining waiting for you at the end of the isle on your wedding day...you know, the one that makes your stomach flip flop and makes you happy? Chances are, as much as you don't want to hear it, you probably will be thinking "What was I thinking when I thought I liked him???" next year.

It's the way of life, sweet peas. We go through many stages - and crushes - in our lives. So all these hopes, disappointments, and tears will be a thing of the past. And that's okay.

Chocolate helps. 

Always. Frozen yogurt or ice cream is excellent also.

If he asks you to dance, and you really want to, say yes. 

If he doesn't ask, ask him.

It's a dance, not a marriage proposal. (This applies to platonic relationships also - if you'd like to dance with the boy and he's not a complete stranger, he'll probably say yes. If he doesn't, remember that you have the right to decline dances too...it's a free country. Don't be deeply offended.)

Your mother really does know best. 

As much as it kills you to admit it.

When a guy says, "I have to go, but I'll talk to you later/I'll talk you later, okay?/ Ttyl!" it doesn't mean he's planning to text/call/finish the conversation later that day at a specific time. 

Nope. It's just a casual form of "Goodbye, I'm sure we'll end up bumping into one another some time and then we'll have another fascinating conversation, but 'til then, cheerio!"

I know. I know. It took me at least three months to accept this one. And to stop checking my phone. Because "he promised to text/call/talk later, so he must have something important to say! Right??"

Nope. Sadly. Remember #1? Different as nightingales and cuckoos, I'm telling you.

Run after God, not a boy - and then look around and see who is keeping up.

I'm the one who still has to be told that, even at 21...but it's so true, girls. We talk about love and families and the longing in our hearts and say "If only he liked me back", but I think we all realize deep down that we really want a good, strong man. One who is not only deeply rooted in his faith and his love for God, but is also a man who will encourage and help us on our walk of faith. I don't know about you girls, but I don't want a boy for that.

I want a man. A man of God.

 And you should too.

Never a Mistake

---by Mairwen Siana

Love is never a mistake.

 Love is never a mistake.

Love is never a mistake.

I found myself repeating this sentence, while lying in bed. I do believe the Blessed Mother gave it to me, because I certainly didn’t come up with it by myself. I was actually kind of shocked, because I’ve always considered Love to be the highest thing, like St. Paul writes about. But here I was, in bed, trying to convince myself that love is never a mistake, because part of me felt it was.

Love hurts. Since the nature of true Love is self-sacrifice (I mean, look at the cross!), it is going to hurt sometimes. The greatest things come with the greatest price. Well, as the oldest child in my family, I have learned to look after myself. When I am hurt, I fix it. As fast as I can. Some wounds, however, you just have to rely on God to heal, allowing the Blessed Virgin to bandage it all up.

That’s really hard for me, to say the least.

Hence, I was beginning to feel like the love causing all this pain was (I admit it) an unfortunate mistake.

As human beings, we come from Love, are designed to Love, are fulfilled through Love: we live for Love. Every time we learn how to truly love another human being as the image and likeness of God, we grow closer to Him. We become more of who He made us to be. If we can sacrifice our desires for the wellbeing of another, no matter how much it hurts, we are one step closer to our heavenly goal. Could that possibly be a mistake? Of course not!

It’s just that said self-sacrifice sometimes leads to a massive load of confusion and headaches and heartaches and worry. And, just because you were able to sacrifice yourself for someone once, does not mean that you will continue to do so indefinitely, or even want to continue doing so. Since Love is Satan’s opposite, he wants to do his utmost to combat it. He wants to use our selfish desires, our tendency to protect ourselves first, and turn us away from our Maker.

See, there’s this guy. (I know, a lot of really lame conversations begin this way, and a lot of really…er…interesting ones, but bear with me here.)

He epitomizes my “dream prince”, at least to any reasonable length. He cares about me, and oh, how I care about him! But we decided that we needed to part ways for a bit—I was getting too attached, and he’s still discerning his vocation. Neither of us really wants a dating sort of relationship, and we chose to part ways now, for a couple months at least, so that our friendship can survive later on in life. That’s the gist of it, I guess, for obviously, the situation is much more complicated. I know that for his wellbeing, and my own, in the long run, that this is a good thing. Being too attached to someone, no matter how holy he is, no matter how much I care for him, no matter how much I’d like to be with him, is unhealthy. (By “too attached” I mean myself wanting to be with him no matter what, regardless of what God’s will is, because I think it must be God’s will because I want it so much. Yep. Unhealthy.)

Love is never a mistake.

I must keep repeating that to myself, because otherwise, I begin to forget it. Loving him was a choice, a choice between love and lust. By the grace of God, I chose to love. Learning how to love this wonderful fellow taught me so much, and I am a far better person because of it. God used this young man to bring me so much closer to Him, and I would never trade my spiritual growth for anything, even the earthly satisfaction of a pleasing, human relationship. Nope. Not this girl.

But also, because I chose love once, it means I need to keep choosing to love. Simply because we decided to be less close for a while definitely does NOT mean I should stop loving my dear friend. He is God’s precious child, and deserves every inch of my love because of that, for no other reason than that. I just need to learn to love him differently. After all—what if he is meant for another woman? What if (glory of glories!) he is called to the priesthood? Although my human reaction might initially be disappointment, upon learning these things, I know that I could not possibly continue to feel so. God has such great plans in store for the future, and I am inherently joyful at the prospect.

I want this young man to go to Heaven, above all things. I want to be with him there someday. After that, what I want doesn’t matter. It’s all on God. It’s His Will that counts.

I only pray that I continue to follow it, with Him supplying any required selflessness. I’m not that strong.

But Love is never a mistake. 

Mairwen has written under many names in many places. Her current vocation is being an older sister to many monkeys. She wrote this article while intermittently spinning her 16 month-old godchild around on the office chair, avoiding excited keyboard smashing. She plans to graduate high school at some point, and figures she’ll probably go to some college or university for something (any help, God?). She writes and edits for the magazine Ink & Fairydust (www.iandfmag.com). She keeps the readers of this blog in her prayers, and asks for theirs.

That Love Holiday

In just a few days, that holiday will be here. You know. The one about chocolates and flowers and romance.

Or is that what it's about?

I've always had mixed feelings about Valentine's Day. I really get into all the lace and hearts and anything pink. It's very feminine and festive, you know?

Yet sometimes I'm bothered by the secular celebration of the holiday. The way lust and emotions are focused on rather than sacrificial love and commitment. The way single men and women are left in the dust to struggle with loneliness, heartache, or jealousy. And let's not forget about the commercialism! I heard somewhere recently that the average American couple spend $126 on each other for Valentine's Day! Are you serious?!

Despite how costly Valentine's Day can be for that average American couple, I'm convinced

that we've cheapened love.

Because tonight when I look up at the crucifix above my bed, I see the truest sign of love I've ever known. And that gift of love didn't cost the Man a cent.

But it did cost His life.

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13)

Ladies, my prayer for you this Valentine's Day is that you know and experience Christ's love for you in a deeply personal way this year. I cannot emphasize enough that He knows you so deeply and intimately and He loves you in a way you've never been loved before, a way you can't begin to comprehend. A way that fills you and completes you and satisfies you.

Take a moment to allow that to sink in. Even if you know it. Because every single one of us can't reflect on that truth enough.

And after we receive that love and allow it to fill our hearts to overflowing...He does ask one thing of us.

Love one another as I love you. (John 15:12)

I know some of you have husbands and boyfriends and fiancees this week. I know some of you are aching for a special man in your life--and oh, how I understand, sweet sisters! I've been there! I know some of you have taken the Lord as your spouse in religious life--or will someday. But every one of us--no matter our vocation--is called to receive the love of our God and to share it with others.

Maybe that means buying a bouquet of flowers for a friend who just went through a breakup. Maybe that means sending a card in the mail to an eldery shut-in from your parish. Maybe that means sitting in an Adoration chapel just letting God love on you. Maybe that means treating your boyfriend with purity, as a precious child of God. Maybe that means holding back the complaint on the tip of your tongue when your husband gets home late from work.

That love holiday is coming up this week. Let's show the world what real love looks like--and point them to the One who first showed us.

[And while we're celebrating love and Valentine's Day and all that...why don't you stop by Catholic Young Woman on February 14th and sign up for our very first book giveaway?!]

Letter from Laura



Dear Catholic Young Women,


Merry Christmas season and a happy 2013!! I pray that our great God is pouring out His grace, peace, joy, and hope into your lives and hearts during this holy church season. You all are such a blessing in my life and I truly enjoy being part of the CYW family. :)

My team from a youth service project

As I look back on the year of 2012 in order to write my *ahem* Christmas letter a bit late, the overwhelming thread woven through the year is one of grace and redemption. Our God is always at work in our lives even when we don't see it. I've had some intense joys and intense heartaches this year, but He has redeemed so many of them and I trust Him as He continues to do so.

I think it's fun to get a glimpse into your lives when you comment on posts or email us, so here's a peek into my own life this past year...

Lifejackets can be cool, right?

I am still living in this cute little apartment with my friend A., but we've added an adorable new member to our home: we adopted a little guy named Brogan from the local humane society last January. One look at his puppy face was enough to sucker us in. In March, I fell in love with a man during an impactful mission trip to a migrant town in southern Florida and we began dating. My second precious nephew--and my first godson!--was born in April. I huffed and puffed and thought I was dying ran the Warrior Dash in June-a crazy mud run and obstacle course. It was hilarious and victorious at the same time! In August, I went on our second annual camping trip with my girlfriends. Our campsite is right on the lakefront, so we enjoyed a weekend of swimming, fishing, campfire cooking, and lots and lots of girl talk! September found me in Washington, D.C., meeting our very own Tess at Union Station! November held two very significant events in my life: P felt led to end our relationship (incredibly painful for me) and I was asked to be the Nurse Manager for a new crisis pregnancy center.

Amish country B&B trip

So as we ended the year in December, I found myself holding on to our Lord for dear life, let me tell you! :)

HE is the reason for our hope
(my local adoration chapel)

And let me also tell you-- God. Has. Been. Faithful. Girls, I cannot begin to express how faithful our God is, and how lovingly He has led me through the valleys and mountains of the years, particularly 2012. I pray my life-story can be a testament to His love and redemption, for He truly brings good from all things (Roman 8:28). November and December were powerful months in my heart and mind as I sought to keep Him first despite the challenges of heartache and a new job/ministry. But He has not let me down. Both the breakup and the crisis pregnancy position have been catalysts for His glory and grace to be made manifest. Hopefully I'll be able to share some more details with you in the future but for now, believe me that He is worth trusting and that hope does not disappoint (Romans 5:5).

I've been on a little hiatus from blogging through the holiday season, but I look forward to getting back to it, and especially to reading your Christmas letters on the link-up! Feel free to email me or visit me anytime at my blog!

In joyful hope,

Laura

Don't Plant that Idea

Since I've been at college, I've escaped from the homeschool bubble so to speak. I'd always wondered what it was like to take classes with other people, guys and girls. To be around people a lot more than I had been during high school. And we talk about boys, and all that little stuff you'd think close friends would discuss.

Tess' post about emotional chastity is extremely relevant in that situation, in which I have more guy friends than ever before, and I'm spending a lot more time with guys because of classes, studying, and just the fact we're living on the same campus. And it truly is easy to get too close to a guy. I went there. I fell for it. I made mistakes, and despite knowing what I should be doing, still got hurt. But that's a story for another day. This whole episode did make me think, however, that sometimes, perhaps the hardest thing about waiting and purity and stuff is that we girls give ourselves the idea of something.

Come on, you know you've done it. Chatted with the girlfriends about her and so-and-so. Or even yourself and so-and-so. I continue to fall for this. It's harmless chatter and fun, right? But I think, especially for high school and college aged girls, we're so looking forward to the day we'll find our future husband, and we want that day to come sooner. As much as we tell ourselves we're content with waiting, we still imagine what would happen if someone asked us on a date. Maybe he's the one. Or he. Or he.

And I think it's planting this idea in our heads that's sometimes half the problem. It's good fun to tease, but it can become harmful. I know from personal experience that just having my girlfriends put the idea of me and someone in my head is enough for me to start paying more attention to him, looking at how I act around him, and imagining if maybe he does like me and maybe does want to ask me out on a date. Without even really realizing it, we begin to imagine and wish, maybe about a guy we normally wouldn't have thought about before. Even if this guy isn't the guy you'd normally go after, or just a close friend, there -- the idea is planted.

This is another facet of the idea of emotional chastity. We feel like God is calling us to marriage, and then we can't wait to get there. We tell ourselves we're content with waiting, but is that really what's in our hearts? It's fun when everyone else is dreaming and wishing and talking about the possibility of a relationship with someone. There's teasing and laughing, and then sometimes this idea causes us to try to put this guy at the front of our minds, or if we're already friends with them, to get a little too close. Truly though, why do we do this to ourselves? Drugging ourselves on romance novels can't be a good idea, nor can watching too many romantic comedies. These things in moderation aren't a bad thing, but we can't let our imaginations run away with us.

So, for me, as much as my friends like to tease me about certain guys, I don't want to necessarily plant an idea and run with it, as much fun as it is. It's like Eponine in the "musical phenomenon" Les Miserables (which I highly recommend), who wants to be stuck as the friend-zoned girl because she let her heart run away with her for a guy who was too blind? Besides, do I really want to be hung up on some guy when God sends my real Prince Charming around? This advice is hard to follow in real life -- I know, truly, and wish I could follow my own advice. But keep praying to God for purity if this is something you're struggling with, or if you know someone who is.

Friendship At First Sight

A few weeks ago, I hinted that I had met another contributor from Catholic Young Woman and would share more soon... "Soon" has come, sweet friends! Are you ready for this?!

Tess and I met for lunch in Washington D.C. last month!

I was preparing for a trip to Baltimore with my man and his family for his little brother's wedding in September when I thought to myself, "Tess lives an hour away in D.C.!" The wheels began turning and the emails began flying back and forth as she and I planned to meet.

I have many friends in the blogosphere that are as real and dear to me as my girlfriends who live near...but how surreal it was to meet one in person! And what a joy! We had a delightful lunch at Union Station with our gentlemen. (The guys were supportive, but I'm not sure they really get the whole blogging thing, you know?) Tess is the real deal, girls. She was completely gracious despite my being much later than we planned! And a great conversationalist--we talked nonstop...so much so that P. and I missed our train! Ahh...adventures...I think Tess and I would both agree we met as fellow writers and left as friends.

If any of you are ever passing through Ohio, I'd love to meet up with you as well! I know a cute little coffee shop down the street... 

A Room With a View

--reposted from my blog, God's Spies

When I first arrived at college for Freshman Orientation, I was secretly hoping that I would get “a room with a view.” There is nothing so refreshing, after hours of intense studying, as stopping to stretch and gaze out a window at a pleasing panorama. I knew that if I was lucky enough to land a room on the top floor of the dorm, then I would get a view of the surrounding countryside, of the library in the distance, or maybe even a glimpse of the Shenandoah River. So, I’ll admit I was just a little disappointed when I discovered that not only was I not on the top floor, but my room was actually in the so-called “basement” level. I had a window, of course, but it looked out on the parking lot. However, I soon discovered that this particular room had more to offer than that particular view.

Our room was located just next to the entrance—not just to our level, but to the whole dorm. Because of our unique location, a lot of traffic would pass by our door every day. (This had its downside, too, of course: I remember telling my poor roommate that if one more girl slammed the door on her way out I would scream. Patience isn’t my strongest virtue.) During the normal course of the day, it happened that every girl on the floor and almost every girl in the dorm would pass by on her way to the chapel or class or the library.

In a few weeks, I began to realize that this position next to the exit was an unexpected little grace. My roommate and I liked to leave the door open while we studied, and most days we did our homework in the comfort of our rooms, with our desks positioned so that we could easily turn and extend a cheery hello to the girls going by. They would stop by on their way in or out of the dorm, at all hours, at least to say hi and occasionally to chat. Sometimes the chats would turn into heart-to-heart talks, and before long, the girls who passed most often began to tell me about their homes, their families, their hardships and hopes. At first, when these beautiful young ladies began coming to me with heartaches or stress about schoolwork, I thought they were looking for advice, and often I would rack my brains to try and think of something wise to say, usually ending with the only thing I could think of, which was hardly original or sagacious: “Well, go pray about it, sweetheart, and trust God, and I’m sure it will turn out alright.”

However, pretty soon I understood that these girls weren't looking for advice, and didn’t need me to give any. They were simply looking for someone to talk to. They often knew what they had to do in the challenges they had to face; they just needed a listening ear, a welcoming smile; in other words, a safe harbor where they could tell someone their troubles. I began offering tea to the ones who looked like they were particularly in need of a respite; and over steaming mugs and crackers we’d unwind or open up our books to study together. Others didn't have time for tea, and they would simply drop in for a few minutes and be on their way.

Looking back over the year, I realize that God had given me that room and placed those young women in my life not simply that He might be able to use me as an instrument of His grace in their lives, but so that they could teach me. Through them my view of life could widen beyond my struggles to comprehend their headaches and heartaches, their spiritual or scholastic mountains to climb. They were there to teach me to listen, to open not just the door but the ears to my heart, to truly pay attention when my neighbor needs compassion or encouragement or just a little attention. Through them God gave me the chance to see Christ in my spiritual sisters. That is a lovely view indeed—and I don't have to live on the top floor to see it.