A Little Love Story

Hello ladies!

I'm writing to share a story with you.

A male friend of mine got engaged rather suddenly over the weekend. His friends had a lot of questions, naturally, so he wrote a Facebook note explaining the story of his engagement. With his permission, I've copied the note below.

This is a pretty unusual story, but it's a great example of how friendship can turn to love if both sides are prudent and emotionally chaste. I hope you enjoy it!

Dear friends,
  It’s true. Jane* and I are engaged.  The best response so far has probably been that of my Army buddies: “HOW?!?!?!?!” If I can, there is hope for men everywhere.  As for the “how,” God only knows, and He is gracious.

     Here is the story: Jane and I have known each other since fall 2006, when we “met” while taking distance learning classes from [our small liberal arts college].  We were good friends and talked quite a bit until I went on campus in 2008.  When she came on campus in 2009, we continued that friendship.  We had many long conversations at the security desk (I was an officer at the time) about college life, real life, and everything else under the sun.  We were a mutual encouragement to each other.  When she was down, I helped pick her up; when I was down, she picked me up.  I liked her well enough, but had my head elsewhere.  Yes, I’m oblivious.  Also, I was a Literature major, she a Strategic Intelligence major (at our college, the two polar opposites).  That would NEVER work…so I thought.

   We had some spats the next semester, mostly thanks to my obliviousness (gentlemen…it’s generally inadvisable to talk to single, eligible womenfolk about your women troubles). Once I got my head on straight, we got back to being friends.  When we graduated in May of 2011, I resolved to get back into the habit of letter writing and got the addresses of several friends, including Jane, with whom to correspond.

     2011 was my first summer keeping a garden, and Jane's family keeps a small farm.  We talked quite a bit about practical garden-keeping and our families.  When she came back to [our college] for homecoming, we spent most of the weekend together, and it struck me Sunday night that we had just sat and talked for 2 hours simply as friends and perfectly naturally.  Further, many of our plans and dreams were beginning to converge and our beliefs were already pretty well aligned: writing, study, practical living, family.  I had boasted throughout the summer that I was perfectly happy being single.  I had a garden.  When the Lord should see fit to bring a woman into the garden as he had for Adam, well, then…

    I left for a four-month stint at [military fort's] Infantry Basic Officer Leader’s Course, and Jane and I kept writing and emailing back and forth.  I next saw her at a New Year’s wedding; apparently I was head over heels by this point…she and another friend describe me as “following her around” waiting for a chance to talk with her.  Well, the chance came, she sat on the couch, I sat on a chair, she said I didn’t have to sit so far away, and I didn’t.  We talked a while, and I got her number and started calling her.

       I decided (with a little prodding) by the end of January 1) That I was definitely interested and 2) That it was time to tell her and see if she reciprocated.  I called and asked, and she did.  I decided to go up and meet the family after I finished up Infantry school, and did so midway through March.

        By this time I had decided she was the one for me—a dear friend, a wise and practical Proverbs 31 woman, we had already worked through a lot of issues together, and we had continued to support and encourage each other. I didn’t think she or her family, however, were at the same point…that and I didn’t have a job.

        I told her dad as much when I showed up; I was there to get to know the family and let them get to know me.  We worked together on their farm—cleaning up from maple syruping season, tilling the garden, slaughtering ducks, and fixing a furnace—and got along famously.  Over the course of the weekend, Jane and I had some deep conversations, and I discovered that her feelings went back further and much deeper than I had imagined…with this, I went ahead and asked her dad on Monday for his blessing on our marriage if she’d have me.  Naturally, he was a bit surprised. "Well…you don’t waste any time, do you?" In 24 hours, he said, we’d talk and he’d have an answer.

    Tuesday evening he and I went for a walk, and he told me to go for it…just don’t do anything crazy in timing the wedding.
  “When do you plan to ask?”
  “Well…I figure I’m here.”
  “haha…alright.  I’m curious to see what she says.”
  “I am, too.”

Jane and I were fixing breakfast the next morning; I was clearing the dishwasher and she had her head in the fridge when I said, “Well, your dad and I had a good conversation last night.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.  Said some things suggesting he’d like me up here a bit more often.  And maybe you could come out and meet my folks.”

“Okay.”

“Jane.”  I waited till she looked at me, and then I said, “Will you marry me?”

Long story short, she said, “yes, ” and we’re happy.  She’s the woman I want and need and it’s a blessing to see how the Lord prepared us both to see it.  Many thanks for all the congratulations!   Sorry about the shock to everyone; we spent quite a bit of time as friends and sorting out exactly where we wanted to go with our relationship.  Turns out we kissed dating and courtship both goodbye and just skipped straight to engagement.

   We are grateful for all the friends that have supported us thus far and we’d be grateful for your prayers and continued support as we prepare for marriage.  Many thanks, and the grace and peace of our Lord Christ be with you.

Isn't that a lovely story? It's definitely unconventional, but it's a great example of how God works in such unexpected ways, not to mention of how every love story is entirely different and unique.

Do you think that maybe this couple moved a little too fast? Could you ever see yourself getting engaged under similar circumstances? I would love to hear what you think!

*Names changed.