Why You're Not Any Less of a Person if You Haven't Dated Yet

I feel the need to sit down and address a few things from my young female Catholic heart. There are just some things that all Catholic/Christian girls need to know...(sidenote: I am ridiculously tired of saying "Catholic-slash-Christian" because for Pete's sake, Catholics ARE Christians but then I don't like to seem like I'm specifically leaving out all Protestant girls.

Sigh. It's absurd. SO! This is for ALL GIRLS OUT THERE WHO LOVE JESUS AND WANT TO LEAD A GOOD LIFE AND HOPEFULLY END UP WITH A GREAT GUY SOMEDAY.)

I'm typing this half-blind because I literally only have one contact in right as the other one tore. Girls...the struggles of life are real. But I'm still here typing away because I'm fired up and this needs to be said, even if I can only see with one eye right now (I have beyond horrible vision).

I am so tired of singleness having such a bad rep. What? How? When? Why is that a thing?

Somewhere along the way, society transferred the label of "old maid" to young women who were of marriageable age or older but still unmarried and lived a domestic life at home. Fast forward a couple hundred years later - women have been liberated, we have the right to vote, to speak our mind, and can have a career if we should so wish.

And yet.....a woman or a young female adult in college or even a high school girl is seen as odd if she has not had a couple boyfriend/pretty serious relationships, much less even one! This even applies to guys - essentially, thanks to media portrayals and usually outside pressure from extended relatives + friends, a young person is seen as a "failure" if they haven't had a relationship.

Especially if - gasp - they haven't had a first kiss.

I was talking to a good guy friend the other day and he asked me jokingly if I had just kissed someone because apparently I had a goofy look on my face and couldn't stop smiling (let it be known, I was just tired). Then he remembered what he knew about me (we've talked about dating + life before). He laughed and said, "You don't even know what that's like because you've never-" and caught himself in time.

I kicked him anyways.

I was really tired, y'all.

But the point is, somehow our modern society decided that being single is like a disease...it means you're naive, inexperienced, and childlike.  

The Minions sum up my opinion of that best...

For a long time during my high school years, I longed to be loved and be in a relationship. Now that I'm a junior in college, I realized I never needed to be in a relationship that young. Nor do I necessarily need to be in one now! Singleness is such a wonderful season of life, but I think so many young adults/teenagers miss out on everything it has to offer, because society makes them feel inadequate - as if somehow they're not attractive enough or smart enough or funny enough to attract someone's interest.

Here's the thing...I fully believe singleness can be a good thing, And that God knows our hearts better than anyone else...I've seen friends, acquaintances and classmates have relationships in high school + college. While some long-lasting marriages + couples can begin during that time of life, most of the time, those relationships are often casual and can end in heartbreak.

Now, be assured - in no way whatsoever am I saying that dating is bad. I plan on dating eventually if I meet someone who I really respect + care for and who likewise cares + respects for me. I've grown enough as a person during college to know myself, to know who I am, and what I am looking for in a man. Not a boy...a man.

What I am saying is that I've realized for me personally at least, there's no reason to get into a bunch of different casual relationships. I'd rather wait to experience that with someone that I trust and who also knows what he wants in a significant other. Until then, it's seems somewhat pointless to me to "date for fun."

And because I've come to that decision, I refuse to be ashamed or to let anyone make me feel any less of a person. Any less of the confident, happy, content woman I'm becoming.

So girls (and guys, if there's any reading this) take heart.

Know that you are never, ever any less of a person if you've haven't dated yet.