What I Wish I'd Known At Graduation

My past few evenings have been spent sitting on the floor of my living room surrounded by boxes, boxes, and more boxes. A few years ago, when we moved from my childhood home to my parents’ current house, many of my belongings were packed away in storage for Someday. Well, that Someday must have come—or maybe it’s this declutter craze I’m going through—because the boxes have moved from the crawlspace at my parents to the living room floor of the duplex I now rent.

With my little brothers before
my college graduation

And as I unload the collections of books and writings and pictures and knickknacks, the memories and emotions are climbing out, too. I was a dreamy yet spunky teenager with a passionate heart, a thirsty mind, and a horrible taste in fashion! I counted 15 journals tonight (am on my 16^th; what a nerd reflective soul).

The newspapers and photo albums hold pictures and quotes from my college graduation. Was it really five years ago? Both nostalgia and disbelief have me reflecting back over the years. The joys, the heartaches, the achievements, the mistakes. The journey.

To my little sisters on here who are graduating this year, I want to share with you the things I wish I’d known at graduation time, from high school and from college. And to my big sisters, perhaps you too might share what you have learned in this season of post-graduation young adulthood.

As for me? I wish I’d known...

-That God’s grace truly is sufficient.  His strength is there in your weak moments. His comfort is there in your heartache. His peace is there in the silence we so often avoid. You will be amazed at the ways He pursues you and is involved in every area of your life. TRUST HIM, girls.

-That He uses everything. And I mean everything. He will redeem and transform every mess-up, setback, desire, or heartache if you leave it in His Hands with childlike trust (even if you’re still clinging to it with your own hands).

 -That it’s not about being perfect. Being in school or college often encourages a sense of performance-based acceptance, but God accepts and loves unconditionally. Mistakes will be made no matter how hard we try to avoid them—but they make God’s mercy all the more beautiful and amazing. It’s okay. Let the mistakes and failures direct your focus away from yourself and that desire to be perfect—and rest your gaze on His perfection.

-That over-analyzing life can hurt you—trust and step out in faith more. The decisions that seem so huge right now won’t matter as much as you think (I know! It’s hard to believe that now). Make the best decisions you can with the graces and wisdom you have been given, but leave room for Him to work. I’ve seen the greater beauty of His unfolding plans in the midst of tangled threads of my unraveled dreams.

-That people are more important than accomplishments. Everyone we encounter can bless us or be blessed by us—what a privilege! Community and connection with one another are incredible gifts that God desires for us to enjoy. Your parish, your coworkers, your girlfriends, your family—make it a priority to deepen your relationships and to treasure them.

-That simplicity and humility are highly under-rated. Graduation puts such an emphasis on doing great things in your future, but Mother Teresa tells us to do "small things with great love." My plate was piled high after graduation with involvement in various activities and commitments. Learning to simplify my life and my expectations for myself brought much freedom, peace, and space for the Holy Spirit to move.

-That dating is not supposed to be all about you but can teach you loads about learning to love and be loved. It can be an incredibly tough but incredibly rewarding adventure—and as Lauren mentioned, is often best when not boxed into an overly-specific, one-right-way-to-do-it formula. I wish I hadn’t tried to be in control so much in this area. The most beautiful moments and relationships have been when I surrendered it all to the Lord and focused on serving Him first, my boyfriend second (if there was one at the time), and myself third. (disclaimer note: though I am not a fan of overly strict formulas in dating, I do believe there need to be boundaries and parental involvement and hearts that put the Lord first in word and action…none of this “whatever feels right” relativism stuff we see in the media!)

-That It’s ALWAYS the right answer to seek and serve the Lord. I can remember times in the past few years of feeling completely overwhelmed by struggles and confusion over what decisions to make and mourning the not-so-great decisions I’d made. I found incredible comfort and strength in knowing the one right choice I could always make would be to choose Christ in the way I lived and loved others, one day at a time.

There are plenty more lessons I’ve learned and I praise God for not giving up on this lump of clay! He’s been the most loving, faithful Potter. Seeing how He has molded the lumpy, messy areas into beauty and joy gives me hope for the future and a desire to be open to whatever else He wants to teach me (because there are still many more lumpy areas!).

How many of you are graduating high school or college this year? (Congratulations, by the way!!) What are your desires or fears for the future? What about our older post-graduation sisters? What advice do you have to share with us?