There's no reason why I should have seen it. I was driving through wooded backroads -- my very familiar commute to work -- and my eyes darted up and to the left at just the right moment to see a bit ahead of me and atop a steep hill. The likelihood of the other drivers noticing is very small because, without warning, you'd have missed it. But I saw. In that one glance at just the right moment, I was prepared to see the deer. Standing perfectly still, like a statue. Hoping my eyes hadn't deceived me, I glanced again a few yards later. There she stood, in a small clearing just big enough for the entire creature to be seen. No antlers, no companions. It was just she: still, silent, and observant. Watching the traffic go by, unaware of her presence.
As a deer longs for flowing streams, so longs me soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and behold the face of God? My tears have been my good day and night, while men say to my continually, "Where is your God?" (Psalm 42:1-3)
Oh, send me your light and your truth; let them lead me, let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy; and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God. (Psalm 43:3-4)
Lord, you know the longings of my heart, my deepest desires, my hopes, and my dreams. But my plans are not enough; not even my dreams alone will fulfill me. You alone satisfy the hungry heart. Come, O Lord, and fill me with your love so that it is not me that others see, but you shining through me.
I am weak, though my spirit is willing. Again and again, I try to respond to His call. I lie awake in bed, night after night, wondering. How do I live tomorrow? How do I greet the day in thanksgiving for a new start, a second chance, another opportunity to be fully alive in Him?
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep... I know my own and my own know me, as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep, that are not of this fold; I must bring them also and they will heed my voice. So there shall be one flock, on shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life, that I may take it again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again; this charge I have received from my Father. (John 10:10-18)
You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life. It is you that I seek when I dream of happiness; you are waiting when nothing else satisfies me; you are the beauty to which I am attracted; you provoked my thirst; you urge me to let go of my past; you read my heart and know my most genuine choices. There is nothing more beautiful than a grace-filled soul. Sweet Jesus, I want to be a Saint! Help me to want what you want for me.
Trust. Faith. Strength. And the chance to put it all into action: courage.
Now on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. So she ran, and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loves, and said to them, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him." Peter then came out with the other disciple, and they went toward the tomb. They both ran, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first; and stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; he saw the linen cloths lying, and the napkin, which had been on his head, not lying with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not know the Scripture, that he must rise from the dead. Then the disciples went back to their homes. (John 20: 1-10)
I am Peter. Though my spirit may be willing, my flesh is weak. It would be so easy to tell them that I don't know you. I would look at the items in the tomb and wonder where you were. In my heart, it would be worse than Good Friday; we've not only lost you, but now also your body. I am Peter; I am a coward, I talk too much, I say the wrong things. You knew all these things about Peter, yet still you chose him for greatness. You called him a 'rock' even when he did not stay with you. You built your Church on him. I am Peter, though I want to be John: young, open, and willing. He entered the tomb, saw and believed. He was the beloved disciple, the one closest to your Blessed Mother, the one who knew you. Through John, you entrusted us to your Mother and gave her to us. Increase my trust and Faith and help me to always run to her Immaculate Heart.
Every Bitter Thing is Sweet inspired me to pray like this. I highly recommend this book for reading and studying to delve deeper into your relationship with Christ through Scripture.