Blinded by Comparison

I know you've compared yourself to someone before. It could have been more superficial, like comparing your clothes or your skin to someone else's. Or maybe it was less obvious, if you were comparing your career interests with someone else's, your family life with someone else's, or your spiritual life with someone else's. Because we were made by God to crave and seek out companionship, we are also prone to these comparisons. We want to be accepted, we want to fit in, whatever the excuse is.

And that just cannot be. God gave each of us a special life. He gave each person different interests and talents. He gave each of us a unique story.

But oh is it difficult to keep jealousy at bay, great or small.

Let me give you two examples.

I study Biology in college, currently with interests in genetics-based research. This is such a competitive field. My friends say to me, "Wow! You already have such a head start on a career, and you have all these great opportunities, and your grades are so good!" Initially I respond that I'm really not that great (we have to at least try to be humble, right?), but then I say, well yes, but in order to get through this field, you have to be competitive. And so I often find myself comparing myself to other students at my school -- who have better grades, have done more prestigious internships or research projects, etc.

One of my dear friends is someone you probably know, Clare. Recently married, with a loving husband, and a baby on the way. (Bear with me Clare dear ;) It seems like her life is perfect, especially with a marriage so soon after graduating college. She didn't need to be a single woman in the working world before marrying, she didn't need to pray and pray for years for a child. She found a good Catholic husband with whom she will build a beautiful family.

OK. Now that I've laid that out, let's re-examine this. I'm sure Clare will be quick to tell me her life hasn't been all daisies and roses. And I know it hasn't been, even though we can all see how good God has been with His blessings, and pray that He continues to shower His grace. I'm sure it's not perfect, even though it looks perfect.

And as far as the academic competitiveness goes, I know that as important as it is to seek out experience and get good grades, I also know just having good grades doesn't make you a better applicant. It's important to be well-rounded.

During my prayer today, God impressed on me the importance of living not of this world, but of His world, and that we must be transformed if we want to be with Him in Heaven. He also told me that I cannot compare my life with anyone else's. He has a story for me that is unlike any of my friends. And there is much of it that I do not understand.

And that's OK. Yes, some girls are married by the time they graduate college or shortly after. Some aren't. And there's nothing wrong with either. Some students have had more opportunities or were smarter than others, but that doesn't mean they'll be happier in their careers than another person.

I often compare my life with others. My childhood experiences, my ideals, my dreams. And I have to stop doing that. Jesus I trust in You. It comes up again and again as the only way for us to be truly happy.

Now that I'm away from the demands of a semester work-load, I have more time to reflect on where I am and where I want to go. With that time does not come immediate understanding...in fact, more time to think may just tie my mind in more knots! But I know that comparing isn't the answer, and while I'd like to take the advice of each friend and follow it to the letter as the be all-end all solution to my life...it just won't work that way.

I thank God for my own unique story. I trust in Him to reveal His plan in due time. I know that He will tell me if I need to follow a different path than that which I am currently on. And I pray that I can practice the words I preach!

God bless ladies, and just remember God has a personal story to write for you.

Originally posted over on my personal blog. It got such a good response that I wanted to share it here in the hope that it may be a blessing to some of you ladies. Now that I'm home from college I do hope to start writing here again in the next few months.