On Discernment, Part 2

Discerning Religious Life

Jesus invited me to discern religious life through a friend at college who invited me to join the Women's Discernment group at our school.  I found it so much easier to be myself, open, and honest amongst a group of ladies who, like me, were discerning and unsure of what the future might hold for them.  Something about being on this journey together made the process of discernment so much more exciting to me: to discover the unknown and find out what lies ahead -- it's like opening a Christmas present!

Once I began discerning religious life {which can mean speaking openly about your thoughts, concerns, feelings, etc. with God in prayer, or something a bit more serious involving a leap of Faith and actually visiting a religious order or attending a discernment retreat}, I remembered why it was I was so interested in religious life during my youth.  The way of life is so beautiful and the sisters are so deliriously happy and in love with God!  

Additionally, I began to view our brothers in Christ differently.  Instead of seeing them as potential boyfriends, I saw them as who they are: our brothers. In Christ. 

Wow.  

I listen to people asking me what it was like growing up in a big, Catholic family; my friends - we are a big, Catholic family!

For much more about women religious, visit 

Imagine Sisters or Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious

Discerning Marriage

"The best way to find your future spouse is to run to Jesus, then look around and see who followed you." 

- anonymous

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her." 

- anonymous

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Mom, you know I want to get married, but how am I supposed to discern marriage when no one ever asks me out??"

Her answer surprised me and made me take a step back to ponder and reflect: "Because you're not the dating type.  You're the marrying type and guys are aware of that."

I don't feel that I can speak too much about discerning marriage considering my extensive dating history {see above}, but I can do a very crucial aspect of discerning now that need not wait for the presence of a man: pray.  

That's all?

Well, dear, may I remind you that that is a very big 'all'.  He needs your prayers, even now.  I've heard incredible stories about how prayer affected their relationship years before they met that couples realized after they met/courted/married.  They are entirely convincing and I really believe that if you pray intentionally for your future spouse, God will reward you both.

As for the days of courtship... While attending a workshop given by Jason Evert, he said, "Hypothetically speaking, if a girl should die at the end of a date, the guy should be able to pick her up, present her to the Lord and say, 'Here is your daughter - I took care of her.'"  A relationship goes two ways and we should be able to say the same thing about our men on judgement day.

For much more on Catholic courtship, visit 
The Veil of Chastity or Chastity Project

A Vocation

Straight and simple, each of our vocations is love. What we must discern is specifically how God is calling us to love.

When I hear the words "vocation story," I tend to think only of a priestly or religious vocation.  Similarly, when I hear the words "courtship story" or "love story" I think of only the marital vocation when really each of the above terms can be appropriately applied to all vocations.  It is very important to be aware that they are all vocations.  It would be absolutely appropriate to ask a married couple to share their "vocation story" as opposed to "how did you meet?" or "What is your courtship/love/romance story?"  While not as common, one could also ask a priest or religious to share their "love" story, for seminary is to priesthood as courtship is to marriage as postulancy is to religious life.

The next two installments in this series will be 1) the vocation story of my sister, Anna, and her soon-to-be husband, Andrew and 2) the vocation story of a religious sister.