When God Sends You a Nice Catholic Boy, and then Says No

Am I always writing about relationships? *cough* Is that part of my problem? Probably.

Today in the mail I got a new book called "The Keys to Life: Everyday Wisdom from Saint John Paul II." First of all, I'm a JPII fangirl so I'm very excited about this book! It's full of JPII quotes and other tidbits. The first page I turned to was so timely. Another reminder of God's presence in my life, and a segue into my topic today.

"When a young man or woman recognizes that authentic love is a precious treasure, they are also enabled to live their sexuality in accordance with the divine plan, rejecting the false models which are, unfortunately, all too frequently publicized and very widespread."

And then some advice from the editors:

"Entrust your relationships to God (especially a dating relationship) and pray today for an increase in purity of mind and body. Commit to saying a prayer for purity before every date you go on."

I wanted to write about acceptance today. Resignation. But those are actions with such a negative connotation. So instead, I'm going to write about joy.

Because while I might expect myself to feel sad, rejected, alone, miserable -- I don't. I feel joyful. I feel secure in God's arms. I feel trusting in His plan, that He's got this. I feel blessed for the great Catholic friends I have. I feel complete with God's love.

You see, He keeps telling me no. But it's not an empty "no," it's a beautiful "no" filled with such great Love. He doesn't want me to settle for anything. He doesn't want me to walk too far down the wrong path. He doesn't want to let go of my hand. He won't let me go and get myself in trouble. Instead, He's patient with me while I worry about relationships and boys and feelings. And He's clear in telling me to stop, that the time is not now. To say no and wait. But to realize all that I'm getting by saying no.

I'm getting God all to myself. I don't have to share my love with anyone -- just Him. He gets my entire heart, and then I can share His love with my friends and family. And I'm literally bursting with happiness in His arms. He's holding my heart and keeping it safe, and nurturing it when it's wounded.

I'm getting wonderful Catholic guy friends. One of my biggest problems is I've never had strong male friend figures in my life. I've never had people who know how to treat a woman, who really care about me, who are looking out for me, who consider me a great friend. Naturally, since I've never had a faithful Catholic who knows how to treat a lady, obviously when one comes along he simply must be made to marry me, right? (Seriously, my brain is a very weird thing sometimes...I blame college.)

I'm getting proof of God's grace. He let this little heartbreak happen. And then He immediately gave me the grace to get over it. Like, I wasn't even sad. I didn't cry, there was no ice cream. He gave me the grace to trust Him and keep moving forward.

As Grace wrote, why does being single have to be such a bad thing?? We tell ourselves that it's a "great time of blessing," and that we're "grateful for this time with God," but do we really believe it? I say I don't want a boyfriend and that I want to wait for the man God has for me. And yet I let myself get involved with emotional crises and then worry my head off. But it's OK, because God is very patient with me -- more patient than I deserve, especially because such incessant worrying takes my focus away from God. Not a good thing at all.

God knows what learning experiences I need. And He gives them to me, even when it does hurt. Every time something like this happens -- and yes, it's happened a lot -- God is pulling me just a little bit closer to His heart. Pretty soon, I won't be able to leave again, and I won't want to either. And isn't that the goal? Even if I end up happily married to a good Catholic man one day in the future, God still gets my first and complete Love. Then I can share God's overflowing Love with my husband.

Maybe I'll finally learn not to freak out every time a decent Catholic gentleman decides he wants to get to know me and be friends with me. That's such a novel concept in our secular dating culture. But I think I'm finally getting God's point. I'm just gonna chill, relax, wait. But it isn't acceptance and resignation. It's a joyful running towards God so He can Love me until the end of time.