I'm gonna tell you a secret. When I was younger (and yes, even still), I always wanted Mary to appear to me, as an apparition. I wanted to see her beauty with my own eyes, and hear her words directed just for me. I thought it would make me special somehow, if I was chosen for Our Lady to come and see. But I somehow always also thought: what makes me special enough for my own personal apparition? I'm sure I first planted this thought in my head after reading about Our Lady of Fatima, or Saint Bernadette. How wonderful it must have been to have Our Lady appear to those children.
And weren't they often children? No, not always, but often. Jesus appeared to Saint Faustina when she was a young adult. Bernadette was only about sixteen years old. The children of Fatima were very young. And so, I got it into my head that I wanted Mary to appear to me. And I grew disappointed when that didn't happen.
I won't write this off as a childhood fantasy, because it's not just wistful thinking and we can't diminish the sanctity of Our Lady's apparitions. And I do admit that wish is secretly still there. But Mary and Jesus reveal themselves to us all the time. Of course you know that.
But, I will reply, it's just not the same. It's not the same hearing Jesus through the Blessed Sacrament and through Sacred Scripture. And, that is right -- it isn't the same. But, Jesus put that longing in our heart for a reason. We long to see Jesus face to face...for real. That grace may help us overcome temptations.
Heaven is where we'll see our Savior and the Blessed Virgin face to face, but in order to be worthy of Heaven, we must continue to serve Jesus on earth. He wants to see us face to face too! So, he gives us little tastes of Heaven through His blessings. And, if I ever contemplate on this beauty, and these wishes for real apparitions of Jesus and Our Lady, the real thing will be ever so much sweeter. Thus, we must appreciate with child-like wonder, just as the children and young adults who did witness visions. Our time will soon come, if we remain faithful now.
I always find it interesting that Mary usually appears to children and among those shepherds and among those, mostly girls. Even the children in Medjugorje are mostly girls and actually were shepherds - that was their job in their families. As well as the visionaries in Rwanda. Part of me has yearned to see Jesus and Mary, but overall I know that my not "seeing" them is as important a part of God's plan as Bernadette's and the other saints' seeing them. And the lazy part of me is glad I don't have the responsibility that seems to accompany the visions.... lol ;-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for these words Maria -- it is important to remember that everything is a part of God's plan for US. Everyone's different...but it's still fun to hope about Heaven. :)
Deletesometimes when i am in the adoration chapel the presence of Jesus and Mary is so strong I can feel it. I used to be afraid to look...but I am not afraid anymore ..and actually just keep waiting to see them!
ReplyDeletei am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
I had/have the same wish!
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