The Catholic Young Woman

Homemade Tortilla Chips: A Recipe

2012-01-28T08:39:00.000-08:00

We've had some great topics lately for discussion! I hope you've been enjoying them and reflecting on your own thoughts about them.

But for a moment, let's step away from the desk or the reading chair and hop over to the kitchen, shall we?

I've been on a salty-crunchy craze lately. Normally I'm a sweets girl, but these days I can't get enough of chips and popcorn and the like. So in an effort to use up some old Trader Joe's tortilla wraps one day, I decided to try making my own tortilla chips. They were fantastic and SO easy! Ready for the steps?

1. Cut tortillas into strips or triangles and place on a baking sheet.

2. Melt a few tablespoons of butter and brush the chips with the melted butter.

3. Sprinkle on your favorite seasonings and/or salt. (I used paprika and several others that I don't remember--I just kept pulling out spices and shaking them on!)

4. Bake in an oven at 375 degrees for about 7-9 minutes.

That's all there is to it! These would taste great with any type of dip (like Spinach-Artichoke...mmm!) or just by themselves. Enjoy!

What Can We Do?

2012-01-27T09:00:00.000-08:00

Ladies, I read a great article in First Things today calling for the Catholic Church in the United States to focus on four main, practical objectives for the new year:

1. The ending of abortion

2. The return of large families

3. The renewal of classical education

4. The building of better churches.

What a great set of objectives! As the author of the article says, these correspond to the most pressing needs of the Church in the West.

Now, we're just a few young women. Most of us are in high school or college. We don't hold positions of power and we're not beginning families or building churches any time soon.

But we are the John Paul II Generation and we are a crucial part of the New Evangelization. So I want to ask for your ideas and advice. What can we do to further these objectives?

I have some ideas over on my personal blog too.

The Ideal Woman?

2012-01-26T07:11:00.000-08:00

This is going to be more of a musing, questioning post than anything else, and I would love it if you all chimed in with your thoughts. The question of what exactly the ideal woman looks like has been on my mind a lot lately as I grow older. There's never been any doubt in my mind that I would like to be as close to the ideal woman as possible when I'm 'all grown up', but I wonder more and more what that means.

It's fairly easy to point to the ideal man if anyone is wondering what he would look like. Specific examples are easy to come by. Lots of people point to Mr. Knightley from Emma. Most of the time I point to St. Thomas More. He was an accomplished and educated man, intelligent, with a fine sense of humor and a quick wit, strong principles that he adhered to but never beleaguered others with unless it was necessary, a great loyalty to country and a great loyalty to God.

But if I were asked to point to a specific person as an example of the ideal woman, it would be hard to do so. The best examples I can think of are women the rest of you have never heard of, because they live and work out of the public eye. Of course the Blessed Virgin can be pointed to as the paradigm of womanhood, but it seems that in a large part she's the model of what our spiritual lives should be. The Gospels are very silent as to any exteriors of her life: what she wore, how she kept her house, how she associated with her neighbors in everyday life.

This leads me to wonder if the ideal woman is one who works in privacy? That is to say, is it hard to point to a specific example of an ideal woman because if she really is ideal she's somewhat hidden from us, in the way that the Blessed Virgin and every detail of her life is hidden from us?

Pope John Paul II emphasized that a woman's primary vocation was motherhood, whether that motherhood were biological or spiritual. Motherhood seems to entail some amount of removal from the business of the world to nurture and love. I'd venture that a man's primary vocation is fatherhood, whether biological or spiritual, but I'd also say that this calling entails going out into the world to provide and defend, unlike the mother. Hence it's easy to see the ideal man, bustling about in the affairs of the world, like St. Thomas More.

And perhaps the ideal woman is the one we as a public don't tend to see. Perhaps she's the woman in our town that we know of, but no one else. Perhaps some of her perfection comes in being hidden, like the Blessed Virgin, never ostentatiously out in the public eye but somehow changing every bit of the world around her for the better.

What do you think of the idea that the best work of the woman, the thing that makes her an example of the ideal, is accomplished in privacy and quiet? Can you think of the traits that ought to belong to this ideal woman? Do you have any ideas of what she is and how she can be described?

Brideshead Revisited, "The Best Catholic Novel"

2012-01-24T09:30:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite novels of all time is Brideshead Revisited, the story of an aristocratic Catholic British family and the young artist who befriends them. I'm not alone in my appreciation. Secular critics adore Brideshead, and it always ranks highly on lists of Catholic literature too. The great Father Robert Barron even called it "the best Catholic novel of the twentieth century." I love it so much that I made it the theme of my 21st birthday party.

However, I have a confession to make. The first time I read it, I didn't like it. Nope, not one bit.

You see, Brideshead Revisited is a difficult book in a lot of ways. For one thing, it's tragic. For another, it has a lot of questionable moral content that makes it unsuitable for a younger audience. Finally, its appeal for Catholics is very subtle, and you might miss it if you're not playing close attention. I missed most of it my first time around.

The thing is, Evelyn Waugh wasn't writing for the casual reader. Waugh was a master literary stylist whose eloquence with the English language was nearly unrivaled. Furthermore, he really "got" human nature and depicted his characters very realistically, in all the complexity of their sins and prejudices and sillinesses. As his greatest work, Brideshead Revisited needs time, patience, and close attention to be really understood.

On top of that, there is no traditional happy ending in Brideshead Revisited. There are no unequivocally "good" characters, and in fact there are very few likable ones. Everyone in the story is deeply flawed, or else a little flat. Everyone makes really awful mistakes and most of the characters suffer deeply. There is a lot of beauty, but there is also a good share of ugliness and a lot of sorrow.

If you prefer clear-cut "good"/"bad" characters and obviously happy endings - and I don't blame you if you do, I often do myself - you might have a hard time liking Brideshead Revisited.

If, however, you are up for reading "the best Catholic novel of the twentieth century," here is my unofficial and non-academic guide on how to get the most you can out of it.

1. The first step is to set the scene for the chapters on Oxford, in the first half of the book. Read a little about Oxford's Mercury Fountain and the Bullingdon Club for context.

Those Wikipedia pages are shockingly lacking in the juicy details, by the way. The Mercury Fountain has a small statue of the god Mercury in the center of it (no surprise) which the occasional Oxford undergraduate tries to pull down when inebriated. It has been pulled down three times, and legend has it that each man who got it down went on to become Prime Minister of England.

Despite the threat of a heavy fine, Oxford students still regularly jump in Mercury when drunk and have a go at downing old Mercury. As the statue is now welded to its base, however, this feat is a lot more difficult than it was in years past, and I don't know anyone who has succeeded (although I do know someone who cut his foot on the pedestal while attempting to ensure his future career as Prime Minister. Shhh, don't tell!).

Also, the Bullingdon Club is the most ridiculously exclusive group in British undergraduate life, and probably in the world.

Among other things, they are notorious for destroying restaurants/hotels/clubs that they party in. They leave the place an absolute wreck and then pay the damages, which as Wikipedia accurately notes, makes it "prohibitively expensive" to join.

Of course, being in Bullingdon pretty much guarantees that you'll eventually become Mayor of London or Prime Minister of England. Members of the Bullingdon Club excel at getting into positions of power.

They also excel at sitting around the place looking pensive in fabulous waistcoats.

2. Having set the scene for the Oxford portion of the novel, my next recommendation is that you read the chapter on Brideshead Revisited in George Weigel's excellent book Letters to a Young Catholic (most of that chapter is available online).

Warning: the chapter contains plot spoilers. So you may prefer to wait until after you've read the book to read it. But it offers a great philosophical explanation of Brideshead, so I recommend reading it first as a framework for understanding the book properly.

3. My final recommendation is about the way you ought to approach the story. Ultimately, the main actor in Brideshead Revisited isn't actually any of the human characters; it's Divine Providence itself. The book is essentially an extended exploration of how God's grace works - slowly, subtly, and very strangely - on one dysfunctional British Catholic family. It's brilliant and beautiful, and completely imperceptible to non-Catholics, who will absurdly claim that the book is actually about the First World War or something similarly inconsequential to the plot.

As a side note, if you can, try to read it slowly and really savor the language. Waugh wrote so beautifully! It blows me away sometimes. Even some tiny passages, such as the description of a certain wine drunk at dinner in Paris, are evocative, powerful, eloquent, haunting. What Waugh did with the English language was no small feat. I can only dream of someday writing half as well as he did.

Finally, make sure you read the Epilogue, and especially the final few paragraphs. They gently convey the point and theme of the entire book.

Anyway, a lot of people whose opinions I respect don't like Brideshead at all, and I can see that their criticisms are valid. It's difficult to relate to many of the characters. The book is sad, sometimes awfully so, and a lot of characters play fast and loose with morality. It's certainly not for everyone.

Perhaps, like me, you really won't like it the first time you read it. In that case, please wait a few months, or even years, and try it again. It worked for me. Perhaps it will work for you too.

And then, please come back and tell me what you think about it.

Originally published on my personal blog.

**Important disclaimer: This book deals with some mature subject matter and is probably not appropriate until you are in college. Also, the new (not-BBC) movie is entirely inappropriate and we do not recommend it at all. Just so you know!**

Searching Out the Highest

2012-01-23T07:11:00.000-08:00

Every morning when I pull out my books and get ready for another day of class, I wonder what life would be like if I set aside the questions and the desire to know, and instead settled for an existence without the beauty that I've come to know and love.

What do we do when our lives come to such a state that the biggest question we ask is what's going to happen when the new season of our favorite TV show comes out? When our standard of beauty comes from the realm of popular music? When we never really open our eyes to see the richness that's available to us?

The kind of rigorous intellectual life that I pursue now in college isn't meant for everyone. My suspicion is that it won't even be for me after I graduate. This extraordinary season of hard study and exposure to great thinking will in all likelihood be a very brief season.

But I hope I never abandon the "further up, further in" mentality that Lewis so wonderfully presents in The Last Battle. It seems to me that every state of life has a little room in it for beauty and thought. In fact, it seems that God created us in such a way that we're wasting His gifts if we live a life without that beauty and thought.

Still, we settle for the lower things. Sometimes I just want to throw all the books to the side and spend time with the transient and superficial. Why? It's not because I find it easier. In the end it's always harder to live without beauty, and it's harder to pursue God when I'm attaching myself to the things that are further from Him. But I think, quite frankly, that the lower things appeal to me because I've given myself a taste for the lower things. I choose them not because they're easier but because they're pleasant.

But we miss out on a lot when we choose the things that are pleasant above the things that are truly beautiful. We miss out on the richness of our Faith, the richness of creation, and the richness of our own natures. Pleasure belongs to all the animals. The higher things belong to us. They're a link to God, lifting our eyes to gaze on Him and marvel.

May we always leave room on our shelves for good books and room in our minds for great thoughts.

Ready

2012-01-21T08:29:00.000-08:00

Earlier this month, I decided to join Clare on the adventure of reading through the Bible in a Year and have journeyed through Genesis in the last couple weeks.

One verse stuck out to me from all the rest. I started Chapter 22 one night and stopped at verse 1...

Some time after these events, God put Abraham to the test. He called to him, “Abraham!”
“Ready!” he replied.

I was in awe.

God called Abraham’s name and Abraham simply said “ready!”

He didn’t ask what God wanted first.

He didn’t say, “Just a minute—let me finish what I’m doing.”

Just “ready!”

With an exclamation point.

He trusted and revered God that much.

Me? Sometimes I tend to be more the “just a minute” type. Like, I’ll pray after this TV show or after washing these dishes. I’ll call this friend in need after I tend to my own needs first.

And when I get put to the test, the last thing that comes to my mind is that I’m ready. Maybe resignation. Sighing. Breathing a prayer for grace. But rarely a chipper “ready!”

Yet God is calling us, every day, to live and love for Him. To speak with Him in prayer. To serve Him in our neighbor. To respond to those nudges of grace.

It’s a new year. The perfect time for resolutions. Abraham had an incredible heart of faith, open to the Father’s will even in the unknown. I want that. And I want that for you, too. Perhaps you’ll join me in resolving to be more open and trusting in the way I seek God and respond to Him each day.

Are you ready?

Creation's Testimony

2012-01-20T07:11:00.000-08:00

Every step of my wintry walk is like its own small proof of God's existence. Every sound seems to be a whisper of His goodness. Every sight is like a portrait of His love. The touch of every tree branch is like the touch of His own gentle hand.

His creation is alive and beautiful. Each breath I take seems to draw in the testimony of Him, and then demand that it be breathed out again in praise of His majesty.

There is an extraordinary quote from Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories that can be applied to all these little beauties of creation, all these 'unnecessary' gifts:

Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. All other things, our powers, our desires, our food, are all really necessary for our existence in the first instance. But this rose is an extra. Its smell and its colour are an embellishment of life, not a condition of it. It is only goodness which gives extras, and so I say again that we have much to hope from the flowers.

The world is full of these extras, and each one calls us to recognize and praise the Giver of all these good gifts: the Creator. It is He who loves us so tenderly that He not only gives us what we need to survive, but also what delights and astonishes us.

In His goodness.

Dance Lessons

2012-01-16T07:11:00.000-08:00

Christmas vacation usually finds me at some point curled up on the couch watching a Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers movie. I've always loved to watch them, or any old movie with the classic ballroom dancing, and even more so since the college dances have given me an opportunity to do some swirling and twirling around in beautiful dresses myself.

Dancing is something I've always loved just for the sheer fun of it. Lately, as I've tried to improve and not only do it but do it well, I've come to appreciate it for it's ability to showcase the best in a man and woman. Oddly or not so oddly enough, the best of a man and woman in dancing turns out to be what becomes them best in life in general.

Drilling for the annual waltz competition a couple years ago I had to learn a lot about how to do the steps. Learning the technicalities was easy; learning how to make them something beautiful and special was hard. It wasn't enough to step in waltz time... I had to do it gracefully, lightly, gently. The steps had to flow in just the right way so the femininity of my outfit and dance would properly contrast the masculinity of his.

I had to learn how to trust him. When he dipped me back I had to trust that he wouldn't drop me so that in that moment I could show my grace while he showed his strength.

I had to learn how to anticipate his lead, believing that he would bring me to the right place, so that everything was harmonious and we didn't end up flat on our faces on opposite ends of the dance floors.

His strength. My grace. His lead. My trust.

Dancing has taught me a great deal.

Laura

2012-01-14T09:02:00.000-08:00

Hi girls! (or should I say, catholic young women!) I’m Laura from Ohio, and I’m so looking forward to getting to know you!

I’m not a huge fan of bios because sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in defining ourselves by who we are or what we do…when in reality we’re defined by Whose we are and what HE does! Nevertheless, it’s fun to get to know each other, so here are a few things about me…

I work as a cardiology nurse and am so blessed by my interactions with the patients. People are beautiful and resilient—and many times, they end up teaching me instead of the other way around!

I live in a cozy duplex with my friend Andrea and my fish Jonah. We have some crazy-fun times around here but also enjoy improving our home-making skills like gardening, cooking, baking, and cleaning (for some reason, I really like to clean).

My family continues to be one of my favorite blessings—my parents, sister, twin brothers, brother-in-law, and adorable nephew-- and I’m delighted with the way we continue to grow closer to each other even as we kids grow into adults. My girlfriends have become my second family and I’m incredibly thankful for their support, silliness, and inspiration on this journey of life.

I am passionate about the Catholic faith and following the One who gave it to us. It’s a living, breathing faith with a Body that must be His hands and feet in the world today…but also knees that bend in prayer. I’ve had my ups and downs in this life (and will continue to!) with medical issues, relationship heartaches, and other struggles—but the Lord has been a constant presence and strength and comfort (even when I don’t feel Him!). I want others to taste and see His goodness, too. It’s so important that we learn our faith well and share it with others by living a life of love. Because He first loved us…

And since Marianne Dashwood recommends sharing “tastes, passions, and pursuits” when getting to know a person, here are a few of my favorite things (but first, did you catch the references to both Sense and Sensibility and The Sound of Music?): singing, writing, health food, laughing, Jane Austen, animals, card-making, tea, running, Anne Shirley, camping and the outdoors, flowers, reading, crocheting, Rachael Ray, and being authentic.

I would love to hear YOUR tastes, passions, and pursuits. Comment here or feel free to email me anytime—my door is always open for new friends.

Love Can Do All Things

2012-01-13T07:11:00.000-08:00

"Love can do all things," said St. Therese of Lisieux. I think of this during the tired days, the days when the workload is stacked a mile high, when I didn't get enough sleep, when I'm tired of being patient and selfless and sacrificing.

Can love really bring me safely to to the end of this day? Can love help me work hard, show kindness, and do everything that needs to be done?

Love brought me into the world.

Love raised me and kept me safe.

Love gave me a smile and a kind word on a bad day.

Love sat down with me and helped me through some difficult math problem.

Love encouraged me during each and every stressful exams week.

Love made me laugh when I wanted to cry.

Love gave me a shoulder to cry on when I couldn't do anything else.

And it was Love that gave me the hope of eternal life.

Love indeed can do all things. And, in the end, the things worth doing are the things that only can be done through Love.

Why I Date

2012-01-11T11:41:00.000-08:00

Clare wrote a post last month called "Why I Don't Date," offering some very sensible reasons to avoid the dating scene. Her post gave me pause, however, because, you see, I do date. I went on my first date when I was 17 years old and have gone on dates with some regularity ever since. Even if my relationship with a particular guy doesn't work out, I genuinely enjoy the dating experience, and I think that dating is a healthy activity for the average Catholic young woman to engage in. So, with Clare's permission to open up the floor for discussion, here are my reasons for Why I Do Date:

1. Because I'm in my 20s and out of college. Clare had a very good point when she said that the phenomenon of preteens dating is silly and misguided. Similarly, there isn't a whole lot of dating on college campuses, no matter where you go (although there is some). But in the adult, post-college world, everyone dates. It's pretty much what people do. You might meet the occasional person who prefers "courting" to "dating," but in practice, as adults living away from our parents, the difference between the two is negligible. Going on dates is the most common way to get to know a guy and start a romantic relationship. Which brings me to my next point...

2. Because it's a good way to get to know a guy. It's certainly important to get to know a guy in the context of his family, and a guy's friends are excellent indicators of the kind of man he is. But think about it - if you end up marrying this guy, you're going to be spending an awful lot of time alone with him for the rest of your life. Better make sure you get along just the two of you. Besides, people act very differently in a group setting than they do one-on-one. A guy might be the life of a party with his friends, but pays little attention to you in private. Similarly, a guy who is shy in a group may be kind, sweet and sincere one-on-one. A relationship is ultimately about just the two of you, not about his mom's or your best friend's opinion, and it's important to acknowledge this by spending time together privately.

3. Honestly, because it's fun! I love the whole experience of going on a date. You get all dressed up and pretty, you get excited butterflies in your stomach, you go out to dinner, and you do something enjoyable with a kind, cute man. However, this comes with a caveat: As fun as dating may be, you don't want to lead a guy on. Saying "yes" to a date should be because you really like the guy and want to get to know him better. It's probably not a good idea to go on a date "just for fun!" - unless the guy is on the same page and is ok with that approach. Ideally, of course, you're already good friends with a guy before dating him. It would be awful to go out with a guy you don't know very well only to discover that he's actually not a gentleman at all. So yes, it's fun, but one must be cautious and mindful of the guy's feelings.

* * *

So you see, there are also a few warnings that should go along with dating. After all, as with all matters of the heart, there is the danger that things could go wrong. There are certainly good reasons to choose not to date, and with that in mind, here are some things I've learned from my own experiences and those of my friends to make dating a better, happier, holier experience for everyone.

1. Be awfully wary of physical intimacy. As Catholic young women, we've been raised to understand the importance of chastity. Our parents and teachers taught us this stuff for a reason, and they were 100% right. I personally think that, as far as physical intimacy is concerned, you can't move slowly enough.

2. Remember emotional modesty too. As women, we are more attracted by what we hear from a guy than how he looks. If you find start confiding all your secrets and your life story to a guy, and he proves a sympathetic ear, you will probably end up falling for him. Emotional boundaries are as important as physical ones, and people don't talk about this nearly enough, in my opinion. Be private and discreet. If you possibly can, don't confide in a guy friend (even if you think you could never fall for him); that's what girl friends are for. Save the emotional unveiling for marriage. I wish someone had impressed this upon me at an earlier age.

3. Don't expect to marry a guy you date in your teens. Unless you're more mature than most girls, you probably won't marry your high school sweetheart. Sorry, I know, nobody wants to hear this. I sure didn't. But based on the experiences of almost everybody I know, teenage relationships don't have a tendency to last. So I think, if you can avoid it, it's a good idea not to date in high school. Plenty of time for that later, in college and after college.

4. There's no one-size-fits-all for romantic relationships. I think you really have to take these things on a guy-by-guy basis. One guy might want to go on 3 or 4 casual dates before considering it an official relationship. Another might ask you to be his girlfriend before even going on a single date! Still another might pay for your dinner but not consider it a date (weird, right? But it happens). So I guess all you can really do is kind of go with the flow and let him take the lead.

What do you think? As a Catholic Young Woman, do you go on dates, or do you prefer "courting," or some other model? Why or why not? I would love to hear your opinions!

Beauty and Responsibility

2012-01-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

Back in December Liz wrote a post that made me smile. I was on the verge of writing some musings on this myself, and her post gave me a lot to think over.

It seems that a great deal of the time when we women are impressed with the responsibility that our beauty entails, it's brought down to the level of merely dressing modestly so that we don't tempt men. When I say 'merely' I don't mean, of course, that modesty isn't a wonderful thing. But to say that our only responsibility is to cover our beauty so that we don't lead others into temptation... well, I think that's shortchanging things a bit, and that the beauty of a woman goes beyond the physical and her responsibility is beyond merely avoiding an exterior appearance of evil.

The beauty of a woman is also in her feminine character, and her responsibility is not just to avoid evil but to do good.

"A true lady has the ability to lift, inspire and ennoble a good man toward chivalry, gentlemanly ideals and greatness itself," says Lord Scott in the letter that Liz posted.

This is our gift and our responsibility. We see an example of the influence of a good and holy woman every time we see a man who rededicates his life and death to God through the influence of the Blessed Virgin.

And it seems to me that we make a mistake when we think that the best way to live up to this responsibility is to hold the men around us to high standards, and then tell them the best way to do things and criticize them when, in our eyes, they 'fail.'

We do better to hold ourselves to high standards, and to practice the virtues that make us good woman. Our responsibility is to lay a burden on men; it's to face our own faults and failings and refine ourselves so we become women that they will fight for. The gift is ours, and so is the responsibility to use that gift for the good.

Goodbye, 2011!

2012-01-09T10:30:00.001-08:00

Dear lovely readers of The Catholic Young Woman,

Clare emailed us contributors a while ago encouraging us to write a Christmas Letter to all of you. "What a great idea," I thought, and then promptly got bogged down in work, busy with family time, and far too deeply entranced in watching Downton Abbey and the BBC version of Brideshead Revisited. Thus, no Christmas letter came.

Now we are a week into the New Year and I'm wondering if it's even worth posting at all. But if you can excuse my lateness, here is a ~~belated Christmas letter~~ Happy New Year letter for you!

2011 was the year of greatest changes in my life that I can remember. A few things I did...

Graduated from college

Started my first real, full-time, grown-up job

Moved twice (first to Silver Spring, Maryland, and then to Arlington, VA)

Went on a few dates here and there

Spent a week in Israel over spring break

Getting ready to visit a mosque in Bethlehem

Took part in an 1800s-style ball during my last semester of college

Spent an April weekend in Wisconsin shooting guns and playing with a baby duck

His name is Sir Percival Blakeney

Got really into swing dancing (and placed second in a swing dance competition on December 30th!)

Lost my friend Matthew, a graduate of Thomas Aquinas College, and one of the best people I've ever known

Got really into Walker Percy novels and a band called L'Angelus, a combination that made me desperately want to visit New Orleans (anyone up for driving?)

Dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween

Tutored inner-city girls on Saturday mornings

Started three knitting projects and completed none

Met many of my favorite writers and personal heroes: Father Robert Barron, George Weigel, Mary Eberstadt, Michael Pakaluk, Amy Bonaccorso, Mary Ann Glendon (pretty much the most adorable human being ever), Francis Cardinal George of Chicago, Michael Novak, David Brooks, and the inimitable Ross Douthat

Ross Douthat, my favorite journalist

Whew!

I also went to see some plays and operas... Marriage of Figaro at Notre Dame, and Tosca, Les Miserables, and Lucia di Lammermoor here in DC. I even went a little wild and bought season tickets to the opera!

I strengthened my faith life with a more regular prayer schedule and efforts to go to Mass every day.

I freelanced for this online journal, this magazine, and of course, for The Catholic Young Woman.

That was my 2011. I think 2012 will only get better! As Van and Davy would say, "If it's half as good as the half we've known, here's hail to the rest of the road!"

How was your 2011?

Words of Wisdom for the New Year

2012-01-08T15:37:00.000-08:00

God has created me to do Him some definite service;

He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another.

I have my mission—I never may know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next.

Somehow I am necessary for His purposes,

as necessary in my place as an Archangel in his—

if, indeed, I fail, He can raise another, as He could make the stones children of Abraham.

Yet I have a part in this great work;

I am a link in a chain,

a bond of connexion between persons.

He has not created me for naught.

I shall do good, I shall do His work;

I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it,

if I do but keep His commandments and serve Him in my calling.

-- Blessed John Henry Cardinal Newman

Seeing God Clearly

2012-01-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

---by Catherine of Maria's Lilies http://blog.saintmariasmessenger.com

Every Sunday I go to morning Mass. And nearly every Sunday I forget my glasses. I don't know how I seem to do this so often. Though I only have to wear them for distance, Church is one of the places I absolutely need them. But somehow or other--whether it's the weekly rush to get out the door or the dizzying anticipation of Christ's presence-- the pattern continues.

Several Sundays ago I realized I had left my glasses behind again. Now I don't know if the rainy, overcast weather had anything to do with it since it was quite dim inside the church, but my eyesight seemed exceptionally bad that morning. It seemed as if there were a misty shroud clouding my vision, blending everyone into a big, blurry haze. It was strange in that I could see the priest's form quite well; I just couldn't discern his features. As he spoke, I squinted my eyes so as to get a clearer view, but to no avail. Finally I gave up trying to distinguish what was around me and just listened, closing my eyes at times. After all, I didn't really need to see in order to hear what was being said. Still, all I wanted to do was don my glasses and sense everything around me instantly go into focus.

It is the same with God. While on earth, we are unable to see Our Lord clearly, or as clear as we would like. On the contrary, our ability to see God is vague and limited, as it is with anything relating to the divine. This distorted view of God can be frustrating at times, but no matter how hard we try, we can only get an obscure glimpse into His glory, often making us feel like we need spiritual spectacles to get a better picture!

This is even more evident when we receive Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. As St. Thomas Aquinas tells us in his famous Eucharistic Prayer, we receive God "under the veil of a sacrament." Because of the miraculous marvel of Transubstantiation, Our Lord remains hidden in the tabernacle. He is the Invisible God, concealed under the appearances of bread and wine. We can not recognize or detect His presence with our earthly eyes, but we know and believe that underneath the exterior guise, Christ is truly there, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity. Yet even with this knowledge, we still desire and crave for Christ to reveal Himself to us.

The Apostles must have felt the same way. Even they, who walked and talked with Our Lord on earth, were not able to see everything. Only at the moment of the Transfiguration were a few of them allowed to observe some measure of Christ's glory and divinity. But because they believed, they were able to perceive more than most. Hence we see by believing.

This reminds me of a famous episode in the Gospel of Luke, when the blind man was restored to sight. This poor unseeing soul came to Christ, fervently beseeching His mercy and healing. When Christ asked the man what he wanted done to him, he replied in faith, "Lord, that I may see," whence Jesus replied, "Receive thy sight; thy faith hath made thee whole." The Bible says, "...and immediately he saw.."

Isn't it wonderful to ponder that at the moment when it so pleases God, the mask we have worn throughout our earthly existence will be torn from our eyes, and we will see our Creator, eye to eye, face to face? No longer will we have to walk the earth swathed in spiritual blindness. "For nothing is covered that shall not be revealed; nor hid, that shall not be known" (Matt. 10: 26).

When we get to heaven, we, like the apostles, will experience our own transfiguration; a change, both within ourselves and in the manner we view God. At the moment, because of sin and the faulty nature of the world, there is a heavy film blurring our view of all that is holy, like a cloud obscuring the moon. But as soon as the cloud drifts by, the splendor of the moon will shine forth, and the moon will be eclipsed no longer. No longer will we be "blind to the radiance of eternal light." Our eyes will be enlightened, everything will go into focus, and we will behold God's heavenly splendor in a perfect perception of angelic radiance.

It is difficult waiting for that magnificent moment of unveiling, since it is a natural, inherent part of our immortal souls to yearn for the Beatific Vision. In the meantime, all we can do is close our eyes and listen, while praying the humble and earnest request of the blind man in our hearts--"Lord, that I may see."

"Lord, I long to see your face. I like to close my eyes and think that, when God wills, the moment will come when I will be able to see him, not as in a mirror dimly, but...face to face (1 Cor. 13:12). Yes, my heart yearns for God, the living God. When shall I go and behold the face of God? (Ps. 41:3)--From Holy Rosary, by St. Josemaria Escriva.

Catherine is a 21-year-old graduate of Ashworth College's Professional Children's Writing Program and a current student with the Institute of Children's Literature. As a former Teen Editor of True Girl, her writing has been published on The Catholic Young Woman blog and in TG and Saint Maria's Messenger. She is also a regular contributor to the Catholic blog for young girls, Maria's Lilies.

Grace

2012-01-01T12:48:00.000-08:00

Greetings, dear readers! My name is Grace, although I'm known as Raewyn in the blogsphere.

I am delighted to join The Catholic Young Woman, especially as I've been a reader for three years or so - ever since it was A Maiden's Wreath! Sweet Clare, who is my adopted 'older sister', has invited me numerous times to be a contributor and I've managed to somehow procrastinate writing an introductory post at least five times! (I'm sure she's wondered if I'm still alive and rolled her eyes over me with a good-natured chuckle many a time.)

But, I'm here at last, and absolutely delighted to be joining these amazing girls. So without further ado, here's a wee bit about myself.

I am an eighteen-year-old Catholic homeschool girl who was born and bred Texan. My mother is Mexican so I grew up a wonderful, passionate, loud culture rooted in Faith, la familia, and food, of course. When I was nine or so, we moved to Southwest Louisiana, into the heart of Cajun country where accents run thick, gumbo simmers on the stove, and the people park on the grass. Although we do miss Texas and our relatives, we've "come home" so to say. We've loved every bit of the past nine years and can't imagine moving.

I'm the oldest of six children (so our house is always humming with noise), a lover of skirts and all pretty things, an avid bookworm, and a writer. I've loved writing, words, and books since I was small. I also adore cooking and can be found either in the kitchen or curled up with a book. I've found a spatula and a pen are mightier than the sword! I grew up in the kitchen and have been cooking since I was three.

I blog about my love of life, my Faith, and many other things at My Spare Oom.

My food blog, Graceful Eats, documents my recipes, food, and fitness adventures.

As a senior in high school, I'm entering into the bittersweet last year before college. This year promises to be busy and filled to the brim but I look forward eagerly to the next adventure God has in store for me. My Catholic faith is my most treasured possession and I would love to attend a strong Catholic university to learn more about God's sweet goodness and the Faith. As with all things, of course, it is up to God. His Will and not mine be done. I'm praying and trusting in Him, with the knowledge He will lead where I am meant to be.

My greatest wish is to one day be a wife and mother, if God wills it. Because I'm a desperate romantic, I remind myself often that I need to be like little Lucy Penvensie in my beloved C.S. Lewis's The Chronicles of Narnia: ever innocent and trusting, with the heart and courage of a lioness. Like Lucy, I am still a small girl, dancing and twirling through life.

And like Lucy, I too will be a Queen of my own little kingdom one day.

I look forward to sharing my thoughts and musings on being a Catholic young woman in the great, wide world today, on the loveliness of femininity, on the girlish hopes and dreams that are universal, and a laugh or two, I hope. For, "What soup is to the body, laughter is to the soul." ~ Yiddish proverb. :)

The New Year

2012-01-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

reposted from my personal blog

Over three hundred blank pages to fill in, with one extra for the leap year! This is quite a special notebook to be handed, and I wonder... how are we going to fill it?

Last year I filled with too much complaint and lack of zeal. Some pages I didn't even fill in at all... I was too 'busy' wasting time.

This year: what?

With God's help, the pages will be filled in with hard work, love, and service.

I need to learn more about Him.

I need to learn to grow closer to Him and make Him the first thing in my life.

I need to learn to bring Him into everything I do and say, to always have my eyes on Him

I need to learn to serve Him better in a quiet, selfless way.

I need to learn how be the woman He wants me to be: a woman like Mary, who takes His words and ponders them in her heart.

I need to learn how to see Him in everyone I meet.

I need to learn to clear my life of everything that takes me further from Him.

I need to learn to give up on my own strength and give myself entirely into His hands.

I need to let Him take me and use me as a pen, to fill this notebook of 2012 with grace, compassion, kindness, sacrifice, service, and love.

I need to let all other New Year Resolutions be subordinate to this one: to give myself entirely to Him, without reserve.

Christmas Greetings, by Liz

2011-12-30T09:11:00.000-08:00

Hello readers. You all haven't known me for very long...I only began my first contributions to the blog this past summer. And as you probably noticed, I don't get posts up nearly as often as Clare. Yes, my past year was a whirlwind of busyness, but it was also filled with fruitful blessings.

The most interesting part of my year was the continuation of college visits. As an aspiring high school senior, I'd always had hopes of attending college and studying something I love. Over this year my mom and I have traveled the country, trying to visit many of the schools I was interested in. As of yesterday evening, I am officially done with my applications (finally). So, although I'm still in high school, "college" took up a great deal of my time.

The actual events of my past year, therefore, are rather uninteresting. I remember right at the beginning of 2011, I sent an email to Clare, asking for some advice regarding "my future" (as I so persistently began thinking) after having diligently read CYW for some time. I think this was the first big step of a discerning journey for me. When I consider how many choices and changes of opinion I've made since then, it's hard to believe I'm finally settled...somewhat. Due to various influences, I had very firmly decided to myself that I would attend a Catholic college, and only an orthodox Catholic college. I researched fervently, trying to find one that had the types of programs and resources I was looking for. I was very stubborn, and my parents tried to make me see reason. Due to whatever reason, Divine Providence perhaps, none of the truly Catholic colleges in the United States had the resources I wanted...and that seemed quite contradictory. Didn't God want me to be the dutiful girl and immerse myself in a faithful environment? But the things I'm interested in are quite diverse: a strong Biology program, with some focus on ethics; and a music program with a harp instructor. The Catholic colleges I so diligently found had one or the other, or neither -- but not both.

I was quite distraught, feeling set in my ways, thinking the only way to grow up a strong Catholic young woman was through an education like this. But then, I finally heard from Jesus what my mom had been trying to tell me for a while: God gave me my interests and talents for a specific reason, and I shouldn't throw them away based on some preconceived notion of what I thought was right. And then, with my mind open, I found some truly wonderful opportunities.

Good grief, I seem to have written solely about college. But the truth is, it took up such a majority of my time -- physically and mentally. (And the rest was filled with school and various activities). I feel that my struggle is not over, but I can say, that this year brought with it some spiritual contentment, and many blessings -- including writing for this blog. After overcoming this one hurdle, this one decision, I know that I can trust in the same God to help me with whatever other struggles I'm currently dealing with and that I will certainly deal with in the future. Perhaps I'm an example of not judging too soon -- or pretending to know God's will for you without really seeking it.

I pray that all of you have a happy and merry New Year and continue to enjoy the blessings of this Christmas Season. I hope that my posts as I finish up my senior year of high school continue to be of some blessing and enjoyment to you.

In Christ,
Liz

Discerning Hearts

2011-12-29T10:14:00.000-08:00

"Beloved, do not believe every spirit,

but test the spirits to see whether they are of God."

-1 John 4:1

For all Catholic young women—or,more accurately, for all Catholics—discernment is an important part of ourlives. The ability to distinguish,discriminate, and decide well and wisely is generally inseparable from a solidfoundation in the spiritual life and a deep life of prayer committed totrusting in God.

And Godknows it’s hard. To our unending (earthly) frustration, there is often nosimple way to find answers for all our problems and questions—but it is absolutelyvital, in the strongest sense of the word, that we discern well what God’s willis for us. And essential to this goal is being able to discern well in our ownspiritual lives, in our personal relationship with God. Spiritual dryness, momentsof peace, the need for solitude, fervor or anxiety or struggles with habitualsins—how are we to know what to do in each of these situations? How do wediscriminate between fleeting emotions and sincere convictions? If we cannot find peace in our prayer, whatare we to do?

In 1Corinthians 12:10, Paul lists the discernment of spirits among the variousgifts of members of the Body of Christ. Recently,on my own search for spiritual guidance in discerning, I came across someonewho possesses this gift and is using it for God's glory. Fr. Thomas Gallagher has given a beautiful series of talks (and an EWTNseries) based on his book The Discernmentof Spirits: Setting Captives Free. Thetalks can be listened to for free here at “Discerning Hearts” website. The talks provide a comprehensive foundation for understanding the patterns of spiritual fruitfulness and dryness in one’s relationship with God. The subtitle of the book is uniquelyappropriate, because the confusion and frustration produced by difficulty in discerning is indeed like a sort of captivity, and the explanation andadvice Fr. Gallagher gives—based strictly and clearly on St.Ignatius’ rules—liberates because of the clarity they provide on problemsof spiritual consolation and desolation, on what causes them and how to respondto them.

If you have some extra time this Christmas break, I strongly recommend listening to at least the first 4 or 5 talks! I have found them very helpful, and I hope you will, too.

In Christ,

Lauren

Bible in a Year Challenge

2011-12-28T07:56:00.000-08:00

I wish once more to encourage all the People of God, pastors, consecrated persons and the laity, to become increasingly familiar with the sacred Scriptures. We must never forget that all authentic and living Christian spirituality is based on the word of God proclaimed, accepted, celebrated and meditated upon in the Church.
---Pope Benedict XVI

And as St. Jerome once so determinately exclaimed: "Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ."

It's been awhile since I read the Bible through. I've been aching to do it again, in a structured but not-too-ambitious way that will fit in with my busy school schedule. Reading it through cover to cover in the course of a year seems like the perfect fit.

Would you care to join me, starting January 1, 2012?

I've outlined a plan for the year that involves reading approximately 4 chapters a day.

Sticking to it rigidly means the last chapter of the Revelation is finished in mid-December, which leaves quite a few days for catching up.

If you've never read the Bible cover-to-cover, then I'd really encourage you to do it. There's a great deal of beauty and richness to be found. If you already have, I'd still love it if you joined in. The beauty of Scripture is that there are always new depths to be found in it.

Above all it's the gospels that occupy my mind when I'm at prayer. I'm always finding fresh lights there.
---St. Therese of Lisieux

St. Thérèse would have liked to learn the languages of the Bible in order to better understand sacred Scripture. Following her example and that of St. Jerome, dedicate time to frequent reading of the Bible. By familiarizing yourselves with the Word of God, you will discover Christ and remain in intimate contact with him.
---Pope Benedict XVI

Christmas Letter from Clare

2011-12-24T10:48:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers,

Generally when the year winds down to a close I like to spend a few minutes typing up a Christmas letter for you all. Throughout the year you get to see more or less what's going on in my mind and heart, but every once in awhile it's nice to just share with you some of the little 'unimportant' happenings in my life.

This year was a year of adventures, changes, and lots of learning. One-by-one since last Christmas the three brothers closest in age to me have been setting out to Oregon where presumably they hope to make their fortune. That led to a lot of back-and-forth traveling between the two states during the summer to visit them. Many evenings were spent playing board games, watching movies, and just talking. Being in Oregon again also gave me a chance to see my godparents for the first time since I was sixteen.

July brought me to Virginia, where I spent a few weeks with some good friends. Despite the hot and humid whether we managed to enjoy ourselves with a few canoe trips, horseback rides, and dances. We also made our way into DC to spend the day touring. Sights that were already magnificent were made doubly so by the company of special people.

After delayed flights, lightning-storms, and a night curled up in the airport I made it home again, and the visit pretty much heralded the end of the summer and hence vacation. Once again I was off to Southern California and TAC to get started on my junior year... the scariest of them all!

It turned out to be not-so-scary after all, though, and I learned a lot about the importance of really taking life one day at a time. Things weren't quite so overwhelming if I'd just focus on doing what I needed to do today, and then maybe getting a little ahead on homework if I had free time.

We spent the past semester studying Galileo, Newton, Descartes, Thomas Aquinas, Aristotle, Hobbes, and Shakespeare, just to name a few. One of my tutors had us over to his house to watch and discuss Henry V, and it was really amazing to get to talk with my classmates about one of my longtime favorite Shakespeare plays... to deepen my understanding, to laugh and to wonder, and all in the company of good friends. And that evening was really characteristic of the whole year. There was so much to learn, to talk about, and to laugh over.

One glittering evening we spent in Beverly Hills for the College's 40th Anniversary Gala Dinner, and it made us both grateful for the beautiful things that sparkle, and also for the fact that we didn't have to live with the pressure and responsibility of the world that we had so briefly visited. Elegance and beauty is one thing, but luxury is another, and there was something refreshing about returning to our old books and new discoveries.

Books, books, books, and study, study, study are pretty much the story of the last four months of my year...

...with an occasional break to dance and sing. We had the traditional three dances at the beginning of the year to welcome the freshman to campus, one hosted by each class, and then the annual Halloween and Christmas dance.

Our choir performed a couple amazing pieces for their Advent concert this year: Mozart's Vesper Solennes de Confessore and Bach's cantata Ich Hatte Viel Bekummernis. It went off well, and almost immediately we turned our anxious eyes to exams week, which came, went, and left us all alive even if some of us were a little worse for the wear.

And now... home. Tea, firesides, woodsy walks, and an occasional phone call from somewhere faraway are part of the recipe for a beautiful and restful vacation. At the end of the year it's easy to look back and focus on my failings, but I think the real story of 2011 was: God is good.

Merry Christmas, girls, and God bless you!

In Him,

Clare Ryan

Words in Appreciation of the Ladies

2011-12-23T12:59:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share with you all this encouraging passage I found while doing some research on Regency Fashions. In the midst of cutting out Christmas cookies and wrapping gifts, I've been watching the A&E mini-series of Pride and Prejudice. Anyway, this just goes to show you that we ladies do have great influence over men. We can aspire them to great things. And also, while we may not know it or think about it, sometimes men notice us far more than they seem to. Just think of Mr. Darcy -- falling in love with Miss Bennet while attempting to keep his feelings private.

~~~

It has been well acknowledged by persons of discernment throughout history that of all the visible creation, God has blessed none with so much beauty as he has woman. This alone would be cause enough for great admiration, yet when woman adds to physical beauty such treasures as the beauty of good character; nobility, grace, generosity, affability, and discretion, along with intelligence, taste, wit and a sense of style, then she is a higher work of art indeed. It is no hidden thing that women have great influence over men. A low woman may be able to reduce a low man to the level of a swine. But a true lady has the ability to lift, inspire and ennoble a good man toward chivalry, gentlemanly ideals and greatness itself.

Ladies, do polish your physical beauty and allow it to shine, recognizing that your attire does matter, yet take even greater heed to the development of those qualities which will bring depth to beauty's luster. When you have done this you will discover great power in making use of all to inspire the good men around you to higher levels of their own.

Your fond admirer,
Lord Scott

From here.

Yuletide Reflections

2011-12-22T11:31:00.000-08:00

My dear readers,

The close of the year and the quiet pause afforded by Christmas break fittingly cause me to reflect on what has passed since I last posted here. Much as I had anticipated, once I left home in the heat of late summer and returned to Christendom College, my days were so full that I barely had time to catch my breath, let alone write anything. Just as I felt I was getting used to my hectic schedule and finally getting a handle on all of my various and sundry goals and responsibilities, it was half-way through December and I was packing up to go home.

On the one hand, the time I spent immersed in the world of classes, work, choir, and friends at college went very fast—so much faster than freshman year. “What,” I cried in early September, “It’s time for the Italian Night dance already? I thought the semester just started!” And the rest of the semester passed in much the same way. Midterms? Halloween? Winter Formal Dance? Finals? Glory be, didn’t we just get here?

Yet, when I measure my days by all that happened between one milestone and the next, I realize how much time really has passed. My life has been full—full of beautiful things, of tough decisions, of new experiences and lessons learned.

There are a thousand things I could take away from this semester and relate here to share with all of you, but if I should choose just one thing, I think it would be this: that during this semester, the new and unexpected spectrum of experiences I have gone through have made me approach truths I’ve always known with a new perspective.

One little incident comes to mind as illustrative of this lesson. During a class on the Song of Songs, my theology professor was explaining some of the deep images in that unique canticle. “In this passage,” he said, “the Beloved is gazing into the eyes of her Lover and sees her image reflected there as in a mirror.” From the back of the classroom, a student piped up quizzically that such imagery did not strike her as very moving or even romantic. There was a little silence, and then my theology professor replied quietly, with a twinkle in his eye: “Try it sometime. Then we’ll see if you think differently."

This semester has brought me trials and challenges I knew about and understood in a peripheral fashion, but can comprehend in a different and more profound way once I have passed through them myself. It is one thing to write about how perfectionism is a fault; it’s another thing to fight a losing battle against it through papers, midterms, class readings, and finals and come out on the other side realizing my limitations. It is one thing to write about how to be open to God’s plan for one’s life; it is another thing entirely to figure out how to be open to it in my own life. It is an amazing thing to learn and discover (through an absolutely incredible philosophy class on Ethics) about what true friendship is; discerning how to put that truth into practice in the daily reality of living with one’s friends is another struggle altogether. It’s humbling—and wonderful—to discover what it is like to try and really live what I believe.

At the end of the semester, I have to admit that facing all these new challenges and experiences has made me realize, once again, the unfathomable debt of gratitude I owe to my Beloved. Everything he has placed in my path, while it may seem at the time like a stumbling block, is in fact a stepping stone to Him. He has not chosen to show me yet where precisely where my life is going, and by that He is teaching me trust Him and not be afraid of the path ahead of me:

For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD,
plans for welfare and not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me,and I will hear you.

You will seek me and find me;
when you seek me with all your heart.

-Jeremiah 29:11-13

I wish you all a blessed and Merry Christmas! May the joy and peace of the Christ Child fill all your days! Please pray for me, and I will keep all of you in my prayers!

God bless!

Lauren

Giving Your Whole Heart

2011-12-20T11:36:00.000-08:00

---by Megan Morgan

We often hear God knocking on the door to our hearts, but we are scared to answer it. We believe the lie that if God saw our whole hearts, he wouldn't want it. Our hearts might be filled with wounds, shame, mistakes, and sin. We wonder what God would want with that. As a result, instead of answering the door, we hide from Him. We think we have to be perfect and all put together before he would want us.God is holy, which is something we feel we are very far from.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the woman at the well. It can be found in the Gospel of John in chapter 4. The woman at the well does not have a good past. She has already been married five times and is currently living with a man who is not her husband. Jesus tells this woman everything she has done, but does not judge or condemn her, instead he reaches out and restores her.

This story really struck me because it showed me that God already knows all my wounds, shame, mistakes, and sins, but He still knocks patiently at the door to my heart. When I answered the door, he didn't judge or condemn me, but reached out and restored me.

God is holy, BUT God is LOVE. Love is what He is about. Do not hide from Him because really all you are doing is hiding from the only love that truly satisfies. He desires to have your whole heart, not just the nice parts of your heart, but the ugly and wounded parts as well. Once you take that first step of opening the door to your heart to Him, challenge yourself to let Him in to ALL parts of your heart. God is also healer, and he is the only one who can bring light to the darkest places of ourselves.

"The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself."
-Catechism of the Catholic Church

Megan Morgan was born and raised in Orange County, CA. She is a cradle Catholic. She is very passionate about the topic of chastity and the dignity of women. meganpurityofheart.blogspot.com is a blog to inspire and encourage women of all ages to know who God truly made women to be. She was recently on EWTN's "Life on the Rock." For more of her testimony, watch here.

We Are Able to Handle

2011-12-12T12:02:00.000-08:00

I haven't written a contribution to this blog for quite some time. I wish I could sit down at my laptop and tell you all about the great spiritual leaps and bounds I've made in this Advent season, or the realization that my temptations can be easily overcome when I reflect on [insert quote here]. And so, without going on and on and attempting to sound witty, I realized what I could write about are our imperfections, and how our struggles truly point us toward Our Father.

I've heard this phrase (in some variation) a lot recently: God gives us only the struggles and tribulations that we are able to handle, and gives us the Grace necessary to overcome them. Our trials are specifically suited to what we can handle...hmm. Reflecting on this, that assumes that we will be able to overcome whatever we are going through. That alone is a very inspiring idea. But what is more inspiring, is the fact that yes, Jesus will help us overcome our struggles. It doesn't seem like it at times, but it is true.

The contributions on this blog are meant to reflect what's going on in the states of life of each of the contributors. I love reading what Clare and Tess have to say because they are both older than I am, and can talk about life from a different perspective. My perspective on things comes from the mind of a young seventeen-year-old woman, who is a hopeless romantic trying to convince herself to be content with waiting.

And, to be honest, I'm having a difficult time writing about this, because it hurts to think about. I am in no way someone who has been given great sufferings to endure. Reflecting back on that original statement, that means perhaps I cannot handle more than what I'm given, and more importantly -- what I'm dealt I am able to handle, even though yes, it seems like an overwhelming amount to me.

Clare once wrote to me about something I've been struggling with:

I've noticed that a lot of really beautiful romances come out of good friendships. Anne and Gilbert, of course, but in real life, too. And for lots of people it solves the problem of how to go about finding a man. It's sort of a contented mean between the two alternatives you mentioned. Sitting around waiting for the man to show up on the doorstep doesn't always work, particularly if you have no way of getting to meet and talk to a young man... but pursuing one is something that he'll rarely find attractive (though if he's expressed interest in you, there's nothing objectionable with letting him know in a ladylike fashion that you share the interest).

There is clearly a fine line between pursuing a friendship and pursuing a romance. How do you know if said Someone thinks you like him, or just want to be friends with him? How often is too often to contact him? Basically, all these thoughts are running through my head while I pray to be content with waiting. It really is difficult to concentrate on friendship when those natural attraction feelings kick in. As Clare wrote a few weeks ago on this blog, finding Someone doesn't mean the waiting gets even easier. He may not be the one you'll marry, maybe he will. Maybe he doesn't really see you as anything special. Maybe your feelings will change in the future.

The point I guess I'm trying to make is that we shouldn't wallow in our sufferings. And we should remember God's promise of salvation and aid to us in our struggles. While yes, I admit sometimes it's easy to feel abandoned, I remember those moments of assurance when I knew God was with me. It helps in those more difficult times.

Anticipating Homeschooling Mommy-Hood

2011-12-10T07:13:00.000-08:00

---by Elisabeth Allen from Twenty Three and Soaring

Today I was browsing in the children's section of the bookshop (looking for a nice book to give to a friend's child, just in case you're wondering!) and 'oohing' and 'ahhing' over all the sweet and adorable books! There were some outstandingly lovely ones, I noticed ... and some outstandingly interesting ones too!

As the oldest daughter of a homeschooling family, I've been brought up being homeschooled by my parents and helping to homeschool my siblings. It's a major part of my life and identity! And homeschooling is something I (usually!) can't wait to do with my own children ... imagine teaching them to read and write, introducing them to the beauty of creation and the joy of natural-history, exploring times and places far away through history and geography ...

Looking at some of the outstanding interesting books today, I found myself looking forward to 'someday' when I have my own children and am their mommy and teacher! I'm looking forward to having some sweet little ones and being a young mom ... but more than that I'm looking forward to having some curious and eager young ones and being a homeschooling mom. Assuming (for the sake of this post!) that God has marriage and mommy-hood planned for me one day ... homeschooling mommy-hood is going to be great!

And so - of course! - is being able to browse the children's sections of the bookshop and bring home treasures for the family homeschool library!

The Perfect Fit

2011-12-07T07:10:00.000-08:00

I still remember the first time I heard of the idea of making a list of qualities that a future husband would have to possess. I was a very idealistic teenager at the time, so I thought I would give it a try. I sat down with paper and pen, and after a few minutes I had to give up. The "perfect fit" for me would have to have so much. There were so many little details. Coming up with someone would match me perfectly would require an extraordinary amount of self-evaluation, and then investigation into what would balance every complexity of my human self. (Yes, I over-think things! :-)

Is it just me, or does the media these days, from popular music to film, promote the idea of The One who is so perfectly suited to you that everything becomes easy and the Perfect Match who so naturally sees things as you do that conflict never enters the pictures? And the world at large seems to believe it, to the point that marriages are shattered when one spouse decides that they weren't, after all, the Perfect Fit.

This doesn't mean I haven't seen married couples who are the Perfect Fit, though. I have. They're old, with smile wrinkles, slow feet, and shaking hands... hands that still hold onto one another across the table or on the street. They understood that Love requires sacrifice, and in their sacrificial and purifying love they've grown closer and closer over the years, until they were so much a part of one another that they were, indeed, the Perfect Fit.

The One might not be someone you recognize right off. You may think so at first, but if you're anything like me, you will be disillusioned. Sooner or later you'll find that he still has his own eyes, and your views diverge, and you'll cry: "Why... he's different from me!" Sometimes it happens before marriage, sometimes not until after, but it happens.

He's not the Perfect Fit. But he could be, if the both of you are willing to spend a lifetime of learning and sacrifice... and, of course, a great deal of love. After all, J.R.R. Tolkien was right when he told his son:

"Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to."

Why I Don't Date

2011-12-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

It still surprises me a bit when some preteen girl casually mentions her boyfriend to me. Boyfriend, sweetie? Aren't you a little young? Of course, I do know that little childish crushes have been around for at least a century. One only has to read L.M. Montgomery's books to hear young Davy confiding to Anne his plans to marry a girl at his school, or see baby Rilla watching young Ken with big adoring eyes.

But it's strange to me to see little boys and girls caught up in the world of casually dating and casually breaking up. Why would they date? It's just a fact that they're going to be getting married no time soon.

Maybe they date because they see their olders and presumably wisers doing it. I find it no less surprising that adult people are dating with no thought of marrying the person they're in a relationship with. The life of casually dating seems to be a setup for unnecessary confusion and heartache.

The only reason I've heard for dating that even sounds good is the reason: you have to learn how to relate to members of the opposite sex. Sounds good, I say, because I grew up without a single date and ended up better at relating to men than to women. I had friends who were men, and I spent time with them in group and family situations where they really acted like themselves... not dressed up to impress me.

The reasons I've had for not dating, however, been many.

Why would I get involved with a man if the relationship were only 'casual' and not seriously determined to explore the possibility of marriage? It would be dishonest of me to go into such a relationship without letting him know that I wasn't that serious. But even if I were honest about it upfront, a relationship of that nature invites attachment and because of that, heartache.

Why would I want to waste time in a series of casual relationships when I could be working hard and preparing myself to serve God? It may be true that youth is a unique time of being free with time and energy to have fun, but it's also true that youth is the best time to serve and build character. I don't like to think of what kind of habits I would be forming in pursuing a series of casual dates.

I don't date because the young men I like and appreciate I like and appreciate too much to toy around with their hearts... and the young men I don't like, I wouldn't date. I don't date because love doesn't signify just 'fun' to me, but commitment and sacrifice. I don't date because I'd rather use that time learning to serve God better. I don't date because I believe both he and I are worth the commitment of a relationship that looks towards marriage.

The Oddity of Daily Mass

2011-12-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

My morning takes place firmly in the twenty-first century.

A cell phone alarm wakes me up. I eat Special K cereal for breakfast. I commute to work on the metro and spend the morning on the computer, using Word, Chrome and Entourage.

Then noon time rolls around.

Down the busy street I go and wait for the light to change so I can cross at the intersection. Around the corner and cross the street again. This time I shamelessly jaywalk because I'm running late, and there are no cars coming.

Up the steps and into the vast, dark, marble-paneled hall. Kneel for a moment to the tiny gold box in the corner. Step into the pew just in time for the first reading.

I'm only there for half an hour. In that time, I hear ancient Hebrew texts, telling stories of a hot, sandy, rocky land many thousands of miles away, and of the people who lived in them millenia ago. Nothing like my cold, windy urban jungle.

I see enacted before me the Sacrifice at Calvary. In a stunning instance of time travel, I am present at the side of Mary and St. John, witnessing His bloody and painful death in an unbloody and peaceful form. It's enough to take my breath away.

I eat His flesh, living and real. I drink His blood, a strangely vampirical act, yet mystically sacred. How is it possible that I have become a Tabernacle for His living body? Walking back to my pew, kneeling quietly to pray, I carry Him inside of me. There is another soul present in my body, like a mother bearing an unborn child. Two people reside within my one flesh, Him and I. Would that He would reside there always.

And then - it's over. I go outside and walk back to work, waiting for the traffic light like any normal modern woman. They don't know, the people passing by me on the sidewalk, that I'm not just me. That He is with me too. That I have spent time at Calvary today. That I have paid a visit across an endless space and time to a certain Friday afternoon in 33 A.D.

What a funny thing it is to be a Catholic.

Originally published on my personal blog.

Here I Am

2011-11-30T07:09:00.000-08:00

Often, in the busy times of my life, I think of Samuel. Remember how the Lord called him, and he replied: "Here I am"? I often wonder if my response to the Lord is the same when He calls me. And I'm afraid it's not. I'm afraid that more often than not it's: "Not right now, Lord... You see, I'm over there!"

There is many different places.

There is in the past, kicking myself for some mistake I made. There is reminiscing about the good old times and wondering why things aren't the same. There is getting caught up in some happy memory.

There is in the future, building my life-to-come. There is putting together a home that doesn't yet exist, or taking walks with a man who isn't in my life yet. There is worrying some exam, or some paper, or some deadline.

There is in a different place entirely, conjuring up wild fantasies about imaginary places.

It's not that I think that there's anything wrong with reflecting on the past, looking forward to the future, or exercising the imagination. But we should ask ourselves: am I living There to the extent that I'm not Here anymore?

Here is being right in the moment, loving and serving God, always ready to respond to His call: "Here I am!"

On Jonah Days

2011-11-27T07:11:00.000-08:00

---by Elisabeth Allen from Twenty Three and Soaring

Today started at 6 am. I had a sore throat and felt hot-and-cold. Then I lost my place in the line for the shower. Then I almost missed my breakfast too! Then I felt kind of coldly and fluey and woozey. Then trying to finish my sister's birthday present totally did not work out 'right'. Then there was tuna-fish for lunch ... and I do not love tuna-fish. Not at all. (Sorry if that offends some of you people, who do love tuna-fish!) And then ... and then ... and then ...

Nothing really bad happened ... and for that I am grateful. But nothing really good happened either. It's just been one of those days ... long and tiring, at the end of which I'll be glad to put my head on my pillow, close my eyes and go to sleep ... hoping for a sweeter 'tomorrow'. I think Anne Shirley describes such days as 'Jonah Days'. I was wondering earlier why God allows people (okay ... why He allows me!) to have 'Jonah Days'. I came to the the conclusion that maybe He allows them ...

So I'll appreciate good days!
So I'll keep looking to Him for strength and grace and peace.
So I'll appreciate Heaven, where I will not have 'Jonah Days'! (Yay!)

And after all ... a 'Jonah Day' is only a 'Jonah Day'. It could have been worse ... much worse! And it too will pass, giving way to tomorrow - which will be all the sweeter after a 'Jonah Day' today!

Waiting

2011-11-24T07:13:00.000-08:00

When I was a teenager I was waiting for my man to appear on the scene. My girlfriends and I would sometimes sit out on the front porch with a cup of tea and speculate on when it would be and what he would be like. There was a lot of silliness, and there were a lot of giggles, but underneath it all were very real and natural longings: we wanted to love and be loved. We wanted to be wives and mothers.

And underneath it all was a little bit of pain, too. It was hard to wait.

If I could go back and sit on that front porch with the 15-year-old me, I would love to tell her a few things about what to expect from her future, and encourage her to treasure more, more, and yet more the days that she had.

I would tell her that the waiting doesn't end when a man appears on the scene. It doesn't even really ease up. It gets harder. When you're given but a little taste of love, a real but little taste, and then denied more, it's painful to wait. Watching young couples bid fond farewells to each other before separating for the holidays might have had a twinge of pain when there was no one there for me. That hurt, but not as much as when there was Someone... and our farewells were casual and brief, because I was still waiting for him to tell me how much he cared.

Watching young couples exchange gifts and words of affection during Christmas might have had a twinge of pain when there was no one for me, and I sat up late watching the stars and wondering how much longer. But that didn't hurt like when there was Someone... and the relationship wasn't where we could make special calls to one another on those special days.

Waiting at the post office for Someone's letters, feeling rather guilty that they mean so much to me...

Waiting to see Someone again, after such a long time apart...

Waiting to hear Someone tell me he loves me...

Waiting to move on to the next thing with Someone, waiting to be his wife...

The point isn't that life is going to be dreary and painful throughout because we'll always be waiting for something. The point is that the circumstances of our lives will never make us perfectly content. We can't count on our situation to always be what we would like, and we can't base our joy on that. And often, we can't change our circumstances... but we can sanctify them.

In hindsight those days of waiting will be precious memories. The journey from friendship to love to marriage is rough at times, but someday we'll look back on that road and appreciate every long stretch to the horizon and every unexpected bend that led us to where we are now... if we fill those days with love instead of with resentment and impatience.

Appreciate what you have now. Appreciate the painful blessing of refinement God has given you. Don't hold grudges against the day and trust that tomorrow will be better. Search for the beauty in today, and learn how to really love, for as we've been told... Love is Patient.

Visiting the Sick

2011-11-20T07:43:00.000-08:00

Some of my richest memories from freshman year are the memories of visiting a local nursing home with the other members of the Legion of Mary praesidium on campus. If you ever have the opportunity to visit a nursing home... take it! It was a rewarding experience for all of us.

The residents appreciated us so much. Most of them were left alone, aside from the very rare visits from relatives, and to have someone to talk to and a hand to hold onto meant the world to them. The Catholics there loved to join us in the Rosary; and the non-Catholics loved to see a smile and hear a friendly voice. We were able to chat with them, encourage them, and talk about Jesus and the Faith. It changes your life to see their eyes light up and know that you can bring some light into their lives.

It brought the Legion members closer together. Many of the students that were part of the praesidium were people I spent a significant amount of leisure time with, but I feel a special bond with them that I don't feel with my casual friends. They are the young people I worked with, the ones I visited the sick with, the ones I prayed with, and the ones I shared the Gospel with.

It taught me a great deal about patient suffering. At the time I was going through a difficult time in my life, and I liked to think that I was doing a good job bearing up with it all. Talking with the residents showed me that my pain and loneliness weren't so great as I had thought. It showed me that I had been blessed, because at least I had a family that cared about me. It showed me that I could do far, far better in bearing my trials patiently and sweetly.

Again, if you're given the opportunity to perform this corporal work of mercy... do it!

My Career

2011-11-15T07:09:00.000-08:00

"When people would ask me what I wanted to do with my life," said my godmother, "I would say: 'I want to marry a man who would be a good husband and keep his home... and nothing else.'"

We were at a cafe talking and catching up for the first time in five years, and it made me smile to hear her say it. My godmother is an eloquent and popular woman, very savvy, and, if described by only two adjectives, "together" and "cool." If I'd gotten in the habit of expecting to hear what she said coming from the lips of women in long dresses and obviously old-fashioned, I would have had to re-adjust my thinking. Rather, like I said, it made me smile, because it just goes to show that this dream isn't something that belongs just to ages gone by, but is still dear to the hearts of women today. And as we talked on, it became apparent that over twenty years after that initial wish, my godmother, who now had a good husband, a home, and a daughter, still saw those things as the most important in her life.

In the middle of my junior year in college, the questions are coming more frequently now: "What do you want to do when you're out of college? What is your ambition? What career would you like to pursue?" My classmates are shooting for the moon, and I'm planted firmly on the ground, smiling at their dreams but stolidly staring into a future that would by my dream come true.

A house. A home. A place of love and service. Him.

This is the career I want. And I don't feel lacking in ambition when I pursue it. After all, to live a lifetime with one man requires all the commitment of any career, and then again, more. To learn how to stand beside him and make him strong requires passion and hard work. To be his wife will demand more than any other line of work that I be a good woman, and grow better every day. It will need more than love, kindness, sacrifice, strength, courage, and dedication, though those will all be necessary. It will need God's grace.

I don't want the moon, or the stars. It will be enough for me to have his heart, and to know that he has mine.

Watching the Holy Family

2011-11-12T07:08:00.000-08:00

I've always dreamed of having my own family and my own home. Over the years my ideas about what they ought to be like have changed... once upon a time the decor was elegant, another time it was super feminine and lace-y, and now it's more of a home-y country style. It will be probably change again, and again, until it turns into something real that my fellow and I decide on together. Likewise the way my sons and daughters dress, the kinds of things we do, the way I clean the house, the way I run the kitchen.

But one thing about my dreams has never changed, and I hope it never will: the resolution that our family and home will be an imitation of the Holy Family and their home in Nazareth. In terms of words little is said about the Holy Family in the Gospels, but a great deal can be said in very few words.

For instance, that Joseph led his household and Mary submitted to him. He is the one who leads his family into Egypt, and then out again when it's safe to do so, and Mary is the one who follows his guidance.

That their Son was obedient to them, even though he was the Son of God and his adopted father was the only imperfect member of the family. By all accounts it seems that He stayed with his family and worked with His father until He began his public ministry.

That they were bound together by a deep love. This is evident from the fear that Mary and Joseph felt when they lost their boy, their perseverance in searching for Him, and their joy in finding in Him. This is evident from the fact that Mary followed her Son during His ministry, and after His death and resurrection stayed with His apostles have it. And St. Joseph is the patron of holy deaths because tradition has it that he died in the arms of Christ and Mary.

These are just a few of the elements of a good and happy home that the Holy Family demonstrates in the Gospels... elements that I want in my own home someday, with their help and guidance.

Childhood Favorites

2011-11-09T07:08:00.000-08:00

I've long been of the opinion that winters are for curling up by a fireplace with a cup of tea and spending an hour or so with an old friend... that is to say, with a favorite book from childhood. There are so many books that I can't wait to share with my children, but in the meantime I don't have the patience to wait. I like to revisit them now and then on my own, because many of them I find just as sweet and enchanting as I did when I was a child.

A Little Princess, for instance, by Frances Hodgson Burnett, gave me a great deal of inspiration as a child, but even now when I read I feel like I ought to be trying harder to step above hardship and be a princess.

The Princess and the Goblin by George MacDonald was my absolute favorite book as a little girl. My daughters will be blessed indeed if they have a daddy who reads it to them the way my father read it to me. I still love this book, and have never given up my childhood crush on Curdie!

J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan was a classic children's book I didn't actually get around to reading until I was fifteen. Its magic was still just as powerful, and continues to be. Even as an old grown up person I feel the call of adventure and enchantment from Neverland.

The Cottage at Bantry Bay Series by Hilda van Stockum is a threesome of books about a little Irish family in days gone by. If I'm in the mood for some Irish humor and charm, I don't mind going back to see explore Ireland with Francie and Pegeen again.

What are some of your childhood favorites? Are there any you still love to read?

Love is a Fallacy

2011-11-06T07:08:00.000-08:00

This made me smile, and if you have a few spare minutes to read, maybe it will give you a smile as well.

Love is a Fallacy

by Max Shulman

Cool was I and logical. Keen, calculating, perspicacious, acute and astute—I was all of these. My brain was as powerful as a dynamo, precise as a chemist’s scales, as penetrating as a scalpel. And—think of it!—I only eighteen.

It is not often that one so young has such a giant intellect. Take, for example, Petey Bellows, my roommate at the university. Same age, same background, but dumb as an ox. A nice enough fellow, you understand, but nothing upstairs. Emotional type. Unstable. Impressionable. Worst of all, a faddist. Fads, I submit, are the very negation of reason. To be swept up in every new craze that comes along, to surrender oneself to idiocy just because everybody else is doing it—this, to me, is the acme of mindlessness. Not, however, to Petey

One afternoon I found Petey lying on his bed with an expression of such distress on his face that I immediately diagnosed appendicitis. “Don’t move,” I said, “Don’t take a laxative. I’ll get a doctor."

“Raccoon,” he mumbled thickly.

“Raccoon?” I said, pausing in my flight.

“I want a raccoon coat,” he wailed.

I perceived that his trouble was not physical, but mental. “Why do you want a raccoon coat?”

“I should have known it,” he cried, pounding his temples. “I should have known they’d come back when the Charleston came back. Like a fool I spent all my money for textbooks, and now I can’t get a raccoon coat."

“Can you mean,” I said incredulously, “that people are actually wearing raccoon coats again?”

“All the Big Men on Campus are wearing them. Where’ve you been?”

“In the library,” I said, naming a place not frequented by Big Men on Campus.

He leaped from the bed and paced the room. “I’ve got to have a raccoon coat,” he said passionately. “I’ve got to!”

“Petey, why? Look at it rationally. Raccoon coats are unsanitary. They shed. They smell bad. They weigh too much. They’re unsightly. They—”

“You don’t understand,” he interrupted impatiently. “It’s the thing to do. Don’t you want to be in the swim?”

“No,” I said truthfully.

“Well, I do,” he declared. “I’d give anything for a raccoon coat. Anything!”

My brain, that precision instrument, slipped into high gear. “Anything?” I asked, looking at him narrowly.

“Anything,” he affirmed in ringing tones.

I stroked my chin thoughtfully. It so happened that I knew where to get my hands on a raccoon coat. My father had had one in his undergraduate days; it lay now in a trunk in the attic back home. It also happened that Petey had something I wanted. He didn’t have it exactly, but at least he had first rights on it. I refer to his girl, Polly Espy.

I had long coveted Polly Espy. Let me emphasize that my desire for this young woman was not emotional in nature. She was, to be sure, a girl who excited the emotions, but I was not one to let my heart rule my head. I wanted Polly for a shrewdly calculated, entirely cerebral reason.

I was a freshman in law school. In a few years I would be out in practice. I was well aware of the importance of the right kind of wife in furthering a lawyer’s career. The successful lawyers I had observed were, almost without exception, married to beautiful, gracious, intelligent women. With one omission, Polly fitted these specifications perfectly.

Beautiful she was. She was not yet of pin-up proportions, but I felt that time would supply the lack. She already had the makings.

Gracious she was. By gracious I mean full of graces. She had an erectness of carriage, an ease of bearing, a poise that clearly indicated the best of breeding. At table her manners were exquisite. I had seen her at the Kozy Kampus Korner eating the specialty of the house—a sandwich that contained scraps of pot roast, gravy, chopped nuts, and a dipper of sauerkraut—without even getting her fingers moist.

Intelligent she was not. In fact, she veered in the opposite direction. But I believed that under my guidance she would smarten up. At any rate, it was worth a try. It is, after all, easier to make a beautiful dumb girl smart than to make an ugly smart girl beautiful.

“Petey,” I said, “are you in love with Polly Espy?”

“I think she’s a keen kid,” he replied, “but I don’t know if you’d call it love. Why?”

“Do you,” I asked, “have any kind of formal arrangement with her? I mean are you going steady or anything like that?”

“No. We see each other quite a bit, but we both have other dates. Why?”

“Is there,” I asked, “any other man for whom she has a particular fondness?”

“Not that I know of. Why?”

I nodded with satisfaction. “In other words, if you were out of the picture, the field would be open. Is that right?”

“I guess so. What are you getting at?”

“Nothing , nothing,” I said innocently, and took my suitcase out the closet.

“Where are you going?” asked Petey.

“Home for weekend.” I threw a few things into the bag.

“Listen,” he said, clutching my arm eagerly, “while you’re home, you couldn’t get some money from your old man, could you, and lend it to me so I can buy a raccoon coat?”

“I may do better than that,” I said with a mysterious wink and closed my bag and left.

------------

“Look,” I said to Petey when I got back Monday morning. I threw open the suitcase and revealed the huge, hairy, gamy object that my father had worn in his Stutz Bearcat in 1925.

“Holy Toledo!” said Petey reverently. He plunged his hands into the raccoon coat and then his face. “Holy Toledo!” he repeated fifteen or twenty times.

“Would you like it?” I asked.

“Oh yes!” he cried, clutching the greasy pelt to him. Then a canny look came into his eyes. “What do you want for it?”

“Your girl.” I said, mincing no words.

“Polly?” he said in a horrified whisper. “You want Polly?”

“That’s right.”

He flung the coat from him. “Never,” he said stoutly.

I shrugged. “Okay. If you don’t want to be in the swim, I guess it’s your business.”

I sat down in a chair and pretended to read a book, but out of the corner of my eye I kept watching Petey. He was a torn man. First he looked at the coat with the expression of a waif at a bakery window. Then he turned away and set his jaw resolutely. Then he looked back at the coat, with even more longing in his face. Then he turned away, but with not so much resolution this time. Back and forth his head swiveled, desire waxing, resolution waning. Finally he didn’t turn away at all; he just stood and stared with mad lust at the coat.

“It isn’t as though I was in love with Polly,” he said thickly. “Or going steady or anything like that.”

“That’s right,” I murmured.

“What’s Polly to me, or me to Polly?”

“Not a thing,” said I.

“It’s just been a casual kick—just a few laughs, that’s all."

“Try on the coat,” said I.

He complied. The coat bunched high over his ears and dropped all the way down to his shoe tops. He looked like a mound of dead raccoons. “Fits fine,” he said happily.

I rose from my chair. “Is it a deal?” I asked, extending my hand.

He swallowed. “It’s a deal,” he said and shook my hand.

------------

I had my first date with Polly the following evening. This was in the nature of a survey; I wanted to find out just how much work I had to do to get her mind up to the standard I required. I took her first to dinner. “Gee, that was a delish dinner,” she said as we left the restaurant. Then I took her to a movie. “Gee, that was a marvy movie,” she said as we left the theatre. And then I took her home. “Gee, I had a sensaysh time,” she said as she bade me good night.

I went back to my room with a heavy heart. I had gravely underestimated the size of my task. This girl’s lack of information was terrifying. Nor would it be enough merely to supply her with information. First she had to be taught to think. This loomed as a project of no small dimensions, and at first I was tempted to give her back to Petey. But then I got to thinking about her abundant physical charms and about the way she entered a room and the way she handled a knife and fork, and I decided to make an effort.

I went about it, as in all things, systematically. I gave her a course in logic. It happened that I, as a law student, was taking a course in logic myself, so I had all the facts at my fingertips. “Poll’,” I said to her when I picked her up on our next date, “tonight we are going over to the Knoll and talk.”

“Oo, terrif,” she replied. One thing I will say for this girl: you would go far to find another so agreeable.

We went to the Knoll, the campus trysting place, and we sat down under an old oak, and she looked at me expectantly. “What are we going to talk about?” she asked.

“Logic.”

She thought this over for a minute and decided she liked it. “Magnif,” she said.

“Logic,” I said, clearing my throat, “is the science of thinking. Before we can think correctly, we must first learn to recognize the common fallacies of logic. These we will take up tonight.”

“Wow-dow!” she cried, clapping her hands delightedly.

I winced, but went bravely on. “First let us examine the fallacy called Dicto Simpliciter.”

“By all means,” she urged, batting her lashes eagerly.

“Dicto Simpliciter means an argument based on an unqualified generalization. For example: Exercise is good. Therefore everybody should exercise.”

“I agree,” said Polly earnestly. “I mean exercise is wonderful. I mean it builds the body and everything.”

“Polly,” I said gently, “the argument is a fallacy. Exercise is good is an unqualified generalization. For instance, if you have heart disease, exercise is bad, not good. Many people are ordered by their doctors not to exercise. You must qualify the generalization. You must say exercise is usually good, or exercise is good for most people. Otherwise you have committed a Dicto Simpliciter. Do you see?”

“No,” she confessed. “But this is marvy. Do more! Do more!”

“It will be better if you stop tugging at my sleeve,” I told her, and when she desisted, I continued. “Next we take up a fallacy called Hasty Generalization. Listen carefully: You can’t speak French. Petey Bellows can’t speak French. I must therefore conclude that nobody at the University of Minnesota can speak French.”

“Really?” said Polly, amazed. “Nobody?”

I hid my exasperation. “Polly, it’s a fallacy. The generalization is reached too hastily. There are too few instances to support such a conclusion.”

“Know any more fallacies?” she asked breathlessly. “This is more fun than dancing even.”

I fought off a wave of despair. I was getting nowhere with this girl, absolutely nowhere. Still, I am nothing if not persistent. I continued. “Next comes Post Hoc. Listen to this: Let’s not take Bill on our picnic. Every time we take him out with us, it rains.”

“I know somebody just like that,” she exclaimed. “A girl back home—Eula Becker, her name is. It never fails. Every single time we take her on a picnic—”

“Polly,” I said sharply, “it’s a fallacy. Eula Becker doesn’t cause the rain. She has no connection with the rain. You are guilty of Post Hoc if you blame Eula Becker.”

“I’ll never do it again,” she promised contritely. “Are you mad at me?”

I sighed. “No, Polly, I’m not mad.”

“Then tell me some more fallacies.”

“All right. Let’s try Contradictory Premises.”

“Yes, let’s,” she chirped, blinking her eyes happily.

I frowned, but plunged ahead. “Here’s an example of Contradictory Premises: If God can do anything, can He make a stone so heavy that He won’t be able to lift it?”

“Of course,” she replied promptly.

“But if He can do anything, He can lift the stone,” I pointed out.

“Yeah,” she said thoughtfully. “Well, then I guess He can’t make the stone.”

“But He can do anything,” I reminded her.

She scratched her pretty, empty head. “I’m all confused,” she admitted.

“Of course you are. Because when the premises of an argument contradict each other, there can be no argument. If there is an irresistible force, there can be no immovable object. If there is an immovable object, there can be no irresistible force. Get it?”

“Tell me more of this keen stuff,” she said eagerly.

I consulted my watch. “I think we’d better call it a night. I’ll take you home now, and you go over all the things you’ve learned. We’ll have another session tomorrow night.”

I deposited her at the girls’ dormitory, where she assured me that she had had a perfectly terrif evening, and I went glumly home to my room. Petey lay snoring in his bed, the raccoon coat huddled like a great hairy beast at his feet. For a moment I considered waking him and telling him that he could have his girl back. It seemed clear that my project was doomed to failure. The girl simply had a logic-proof head.

But then I reconsidered. I had wasted one evening; I might as well waste another. Who knew? Maybe somewhere in the extinct crater of her mind a few members still smoldered. Maybe somehow I could fan them into flame. Admittedly it was not a prospect fraught with hope, but I decided to give it one more try.

------------

Seated under the oak the next evening I said, “Our first fallacy tonight is called Ad Misericordiam.”

She quivered with delight.

“Listen closely,” I said. “A man applies for a job. When the boss asks him what his qualifications are, he replies that he has a wife and six children at home, the wife is a helpless cripple, the children have nothing to eat, no clothes to wear, no shoes on their feet, there are no beds in the house, no coal in the cellar, and winter is coming.”

A tear rolled down each of Polly’s pink cheeks. “Oh, this is awful, awful,” she sobbed.

“Yes, it’s awful,” I agreed, “but it’s no argument. The man never answered the boss’s question about his qualifications. Instead he appealed to the boss’s sympathy. He committed the fallacy of Ad Misericordiam. Do you understand?”

“Have you got a handkerchief?” she blubbered.

I handed her a handkerchief and tried to keep from screaming while she wiped her eyes. “Next,” I said in a carefully controlled tone, “we will discuss False Analogy. Here is an example: Students should be allowed to look at their textbooks during examinations. After all, surgeons have X-rays to guide them during an operation, lawyers have briefs to guide them during a trial, carpenters have blueprints to guide them when they are building a house. Why, then, shouldn’t students be allowed to look at their textbooks during an examination?”

“There now,” she said enthusiastically, “is the most marvy idea I’ve heard in years.”

“Polly,” I said testily, “the argument is all wrong. Doctors, lawyers, and carpenters aren’t taking a test to see how much they have learned, but students are. The situations are altogether different, and you can’t make an analogy between them.”

“I still think it’s a good idea,” said Polly.

“Nuts,” I muttered. Doggedly I pressed on. “Next we’ll try Hypothesis Contrary to Fact.”

“Sounds yummy,” was Polly’s reaction.

“Listen: If Madame Curie had not happened to leave a photographic plate in a drawer with a chunk of pitchblende, the world today would not know about radium.”

“True, true,” said Polly, nodding her head “Did you see the movie? Oh, it just knocked me out. That Walter Pidgeon is so dreamy. I mean he fractures me.”

“If you can forget Mr. Pidgeon for a moment,” I said coldly, “I would like to point out that statement is a fallacy. Maybe Madame Curie would have discovered radium at some later date. Maybe somebody else would have discovered it. Maybe any number of things would have happened. You can’t start with a hypothesis that is not true and then draw any supportable conclusions from it.”

“They ought to put Walter Pidgeon in more pictures,” said Polly, “I hardly ever see him any more.”

One more chance, I decided. But just one more. There is a limit to what flesh and blood can bear. “The next fallacy is called Poisoning the Well.”

“How cute!” she gurgled.

“Two men are having a debate. The first one gets up and says, ‘My opponent is a notorious liar. You can’t believe a word that he is going to say.’ ... Now, Polly, think. Think hard. What’s wrong?”

I watched her closely as she knit her creamy brow in concentration. Suddenly a glimmer of intelligence—the first I had seen—came into her eyes. “It’s not fair,” she said with indignation. “It’s not a bit fair. What chance has the second man got if the first man calls him a liar before he even begins talking?”

“Right!” I cried exultantly. “One hundred per cent right. It’s not fair. The first man has poisoned the well before anybody could drink from it. He has hamstrung his opponent before he could even start ... Polly, I’m proud of you.”

“Pshaws,” she murmured, blushing with pleasure.

“You see, my dear, these things aren’t so hard. All you have to do is concentrate. Think—examine—evaluate. Come now, let’s review everything we have learned.”

“Fire away,” she said with an airy wave of her hand.

Heartened by the knowledge that Polly was not altogether a cretin, I began a long, patient review of all I had told her. Over and over and over again I cited instances, pointed out flaws, kept hammering away without letup. It was like digging a tunnel. At first, everything was work, sweat, and darkness. I had no idea when I would reach the light, or even if I would. But I persisted. I pounded and clawed and scraped, and finally I was rewarded. I saw a chink of light. And then the chink got bigger and the sun came pouring in and all was bright.

Five grueling nights with this took, but it was worth it. I had made a logician out of Polly; I had taught her to think. My job was done. She was worthy of me, at last. She was a fit wife for me, a proper hostess for my many mansions, a suitable mother for my well-heeled children.

It must not be thought that I was without love for this girl. Quite the contrary. Just as Pygmalion loved the perfect woman he had fashioned, so I loved mine. I decided to acquaint her with my feelings at our very next meeting. The time had come to change our relationship from academic to romantic.

“Polly,” I said when next we sat beneath our oak, “tonight we will not discuss fallacies.”

“Aw, gee,” she said, disappointed.

“My dear,” I said, favoring her with a smile, “we have now spent five evenings together. We have gotten along splendidly. It is clear that we are well matched.”

“Hasty Generalization,” said Polly brightly.

“I beg your pardon,” said I."

“Hasty Generalization,” she repeated. “How can you say that we are well matched on the basis of only five dates?”

I chuckled with amusement. The dear child had learned her lessons well. “My dear,” I said, patting her hand in a tolerant manner, “five dates is plenty. After all, you don’t have to eat a whole cake to know that it’s good.”

“False Analogy,” said Polly promptly. “I’m not a cake. I’m a girl.”

I chuckled with somewhat less amusement. The dear child had learned her lessons perhaps too well. I decided to change tactics. Obviously the best approach was a simple, strong, direct declaration of love. I paused for a moment while my massive brain chose the proper word. Then I began:

“Polly, I love you. You are the whole world to me, the moon and the stars and the constellations of outer space. Please, my darling, say that you will go steady with me, for if you will not, life will be meaningless. I will languish. I will refuse my meals. I will wander the face of the earth, a shambling, hollow-eyed hulk.”

There, I thought, folding my arms, that ought to do it.

“Ad Misericordiam,” said Polly.

I ground my teeth. I was not Pygmalion; I was Frankenstein, and my monster had me by the throat. Frantically I fought back the tide of panic surging through me; at all costs I had to keep cool.

“Well, Polly,” I said, forcing a smile, “you certainly have learned your fallacies.”

“You’re darn right,” she said with a vigorous nod.

“And who taught them to you, Polly?”

“You did.”

“That’s right. So you do owe me something, don’t you, my dear? If I hadn’t come along you never would have learned about fallacies.”

“Hypothesis Contrary to Fact,” she said instantly.

I dashed perspiration from my brow. “Polly,” I croaked, “you mustn’t take all these things so literally. I mean this is just classroom stuff. You know that the things you learn in school don’t have anything to do with life.”

“Dicto Simpliciter,” she said, wagging her finger at me playfully.

That did it. I leaped to my feet, bellowing like a bull. “Will you or will you not go steady with me?”

“I will not,” she replied.

“Why not?” I demanded.

“Because this afternoon I promised Petey Bellows that I would go steady with him.”

I reeled back, overcome with the infamy of it. After he promised, after he made a deal, after he shook my hand! “The rat!” I shrieked, kicking up great chunks of turf. “You can’t go with him, Polly. He’s a liar. He’s a cheat. He’s a rat.”

“Poisoning the Well ,” said Polly, “and stop shouting. I think shouting must be a fallacy too.”

With an immense effort of will, I modulated my voice. “All right,” I said. “You’re a logician. Let’s look at this thing logically. How could you choose Petey Bellows over me? Look at me—a brilliant student, a tremendous intellectual, a man with an assured future. Look at Petey—a knothead, a jitterbug, a guy who’ll never know where his next meal is coming from. Can you give me one logical reason why you should go steady with Petey Bellows?”

“I certainly can,” declared Polly. “He’s got a raccoon coat.”

Little Feminine Mood-lifters

2011-11-03T07:08:00.000-07:00

November is one of those dreary months that needs something to pick up the mood and make things a little cheerier. When I wake up to a drab and grey day with a lot of work in front of me, there are a few small things I do to add some brightness to my world. It's amazing what a few feminine touches can do to give you more energy and confidence.

Dangle-ly earrings. These instantly add a bit of sparkle to the day. The right pair of earrings can look absolutely elegant.

High heels. I'm not talking about ridiculous heights, but a little bit of heel makes me feel a bit taller and a bit more graceful.

Hair ribbons. They may seem a bit 'little girl-y', but I love the charm they add to a hairdo. I bought some ribbon in the most common colors so I would have some to match every outfit.

Scarves. These are perfect in the colder months, but a lightweight scarf can give a bit of retro charm in the summertime, too.

Pearls. This classic vintage accessory is one of my favorites. Pearls are so ladylike and sweet, and can dress up an otherwise simple outfit.

Flowers. Speaking of dressing up the simple, flowers do that for hairstyles. They're also enormously feminine. Put one in your hair before heading out.

Bright colors. When the day really is dreary, a colorful outfit can bring some sunshine to it. Next time the sky is grey, try wearing springlike colors and floral patterns, and enjoy the smile it brings.

Disclaimer: fun as these are, I wouldn't necessarily recommend incorporating them all into one outfit... at the very least, do so with discretion. ;-)

The Story of the Trapp Family Singers

2011-10-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

A great many of you might be familiar with the Trapp Family Singers through the movie The Sound of Music starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer. It's a sweet film with fun musical numbers. But if you haven't read the true story by Maria Augusta Trapp on which the movie was based, do.

The Story of the Trapp Family Singers is more than sweet. It's deep and beautiful, and a testimony to God's love and grace. The story begins with Maria's exit from the convent and entrance to the Captain's house as a governess, and she recounts her life with them, her romance and marriage with the Captain, their journey to America, and their gradual rise as the Trapp Family Singers.

Maria Trapp writes with humor and humility, and her stories of learning to live an American are especially sure to bring a smile. Her passion for music and her love for her husband and children are evident in every chapter.

But above all her absolute faith in God rings in every line of the book. The family's journey was not always easy. Leaving their home and life in Austria to begin anew as an impoverished family of immigrants in America was difficult and painful. In the world of music they were challenged and rejected.

"God's Will be done," was the ultimate philosophy of life which had been impressed upon Maria in the convent. This was the philosophy which she adhered to throughout her life. When she knew what God's Will was, she followed... whether it was to leave the convent and marry the Captain, move to America, or bring her family to the stage. And being convinced of God's Will, she refused to give in when confronted with obstacles, but persevered in attaining her goals, confident that since God had commanded He would also provide.

Her faith and trust are inspirational, her stories precious, and her accounts of liturgical life in Austria moving. Reading it you might find a different story than that presented by the musical... but one much richer and more beautiful and full of faith.

To Be Dandelions

2011-10-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

Reprinted from my blog, Sunny Side Up.

I read an interesting article here. The season is waning for flowers -- unfortunately, because I like flowers -- but that does not mean the beauty in nature just stops. I've re-printed some of the piece below:

Despite their bad reputation, dandelions are pretty little flowers with their yellow strands all tucked neatly into the center. And truly they are the most beautiful of all flowers when presented clutched in a child’s dirty little hand. No one gets yelled at for picking them. Perhaps they grow only to be used and enjoyed by children.

Dandelions are ignored or attacked, never nurtured or cared for, and yet they always bloom profusely....Christians should be more like dandelions. Our sunny yellow faces should be a reminder that simple faith has deep roots that are impossible to dislodge. Our vast number would show the world that even though we are not fancy or pampered we are evident everywhere, even in the best neighborhoods.

We should be as easily accessible as a dandelion. Jesus is. We need to get out of our gardens and jump across the boundaries that keep us where people expect to find us. We need to show our sunny yellow faces in all the spots that need a little brightening up – the crack in the sidewalk or the lawn of a country club.

When I was little, I remember I loved watching the dandelions pop up. The most fun was blowing the seeds off the dandelions when they turned white. I also remember my parents telling me not to blow into the yard...because then more dandelions would inevitably pop up in the grass.

As Christians, we are attacked -- by the media and even by our friends sometimes. I don't always want to speak out about my faith because I am afraid of how I'll be received. Maybe a better solution, rather than speaking up all the time, would be to gently make our Christian faith known by our presence, and through our every day surroundings and interactions. My mama has told me that kind and quiet actions will convert more souls than loud preaching.

We should be like dandelions. They are sunny and bright, they make a child's day, they surprise all who never know where they'll appear or when, and they quietly spread to the most unexpected places. Dandelions are another flower in God's endless and beautiful bouquet. With all the chaos of our lives, sometimes these quiet gestures are the best we can do. But we should never think them insignificant.

Do you like dandelions?

For Young Women Only

2011-10-27T07:07:00.000-07:00

This book by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice is addressed to young women, with the goal of giving them insight into what young men are thinking, particularly in relation to them. Despite having grown up with six brothers, the world of guys' thoughts can be mysterious to me at times. Things get more complicated when you're involved with a relationship with a young man and his way of looking at things has a bigger impact on your life.

Though the cover and general presentation of the book can come off as a little bit kitchy, I actually found it as a whole extremely helpful, primarily for the surveys and comments that were gathered from real young men. The anonymity of the surveys allowed them to answer things truthfully, and to hear in their own words what's going on in their heads is enlightening.

The book covers six insights or 'surprises' that the authors gathered from their surveys. First, that guys need respect. It's more important that they feel respected than loved. Second, that they are insecure, that is that they don't have all the confidence in themselves that they'll sometimes present to the outside world. Third, that they actually do have feelings though they'll hide it under a tough surface. Fourth, that they're very visual and how girls dress and act as a huge impact on them. Fifth, that they their physical desires are very strong, even when they fight against temptation. Sixth, that yes, inner beauty does matter to them, but so does outer beauty.

These six surprises are expressed in the words of the young men themselves, and the authors help to elaborate on what they've said and give girls ideas on what to do with the information.

Even if you think you have guys all figured out, I'd recommend taking a peek at the book. I learned a lot and was given some great food for thought.

God Gives Everything

2011-10-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about something in the car yesterday. A song came on the radio -- "All of Me" by Matt Hammitt. I don't think I really got the point of the song, but there was a phrase that kept recurring. You're gonna have all of me, you're gonna have all of me... This got me thinking about the difference between Protestants and Catholics. Yes, I know...I do think I somehow tapped into an alternate interpretation.

Even though I'm Catholic, and perhaps because I'm Catholic, I love my Bible. There's something about reading the scriptures that really fills me with the Holy Spirit. It is the most direct way to God's word.

Because Protestants don't accept the Sacraments or the Saints, or Mary as their mother, they truly miss a whole lot of the Faith! They have Biblical devotionals, and sermons, but really...having Jesus come to us directly in the Eucharist at each and every Mass is incredible.

I know the thought has gone through my head before...the doubt that Jesus is really present in the Mass...and that the Catholic Church is the true Church. But yesterday, I was filled with hope and conviction. Our God is a God who is love and proves He is love. He died on the cross for us -- giving us His everything. It just doesn't make any sense that God wouldn't try to do everything possible to bring us to Him. Why would He not come to us in the Sacraments? Why would He not work through His mother and through the saints? It seems that when Protestants refuse to accept these things, these mysteries, they are removing themselves from some of God's closest encounters with us.

That is truly an incredible thought -- because it just makes sense. And so, I wanted to share my hope and my conviction with you. Sometimes we all need a little extra reassurance and prayer.

On Sanctifying Your Work

2011-10-21T12:45:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest parts of adjusting to professional life, I think, has been learning to make a prayer out of work that I don’t always like doing. I was raised to believe (as you probably were too) that every act of one’s day can be offered as a prayer, but I suspect that some work lends itself more easily to this than others.

Somehow I imagine that it’s easy to make your work a prayer if you are, say, painting lovely pictures, designing elegant dresses or staying at home to care for your new baby. I haven’t actually done these things, to be sure, but they seem so creative, so beautiful – such a thorough participation in God’s creative work.

By contrast, making photocopies, organizing files, and opening the mail, while a necessary part of most office jobs, is hardly the most glamorous work a girl could dream of doing.

Although this girl makes it look good.

So as I begin my professional career, I face the challenge of finding new ways to sanctify my daily duties, even if they are not always as thrilling as they could be. One thing I’m often grateful for is the practice I had, thanks to the good advice of wise mentors, in offering up my work and studies as a high school and college student. One of my college professors recommended that I keep a small crucifix or prayer card next to my desk as I worked. Then when my eyes wandered, she said, I would see the image and remember who and what I was really working for. It was wonderful advice and helped me to keep my mind focused during long, boring assignments.

Now that I work in a secular office, I’m hesitant to keep a religious image next to my desk. Instead I try to keep a specific prayer or line from Scripture in my mind, repeating it to myself occasionally throughout the day. I’ve even been known to set an alarm on my phone to remind me to pray for particular intentions. But I’m not sure that I keep the presence of God as well as I could be doing, and that’s why I would like to turn to you.

Dear Readers, what would you recommend as a good way to sanctify one’s work, especially if one works in a secular place? Do you think that perhaps I should just bite the bullet and put up a small prayer card in my cubicle? Despite my qualms, I recognize that it would probably be a good way to witness to the Faith. I would love to know, what do you do to sanctify your studies and your work? Let’s share our ideas!

~ Tess

Be Not Solicitous

2011-10-20T07:06:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite passages to read from Scripture when things get difficult is the latter half of Matthew, Chapter 6... Jesus' words about the lilies of the field. When life gets overwhelming I read that passage to remind myself that things are in God's Hands. He will provide.

But as time has gone on I've learned that those words are not just words of comfort. They are words of command, as well, and following them requires trust and discipline.

There have been times when I didn't want to be comforted. Rather, I wanted to fret and worry to my heart's content, try to figure things out, make plans, and in general obsess over some future event that may or may not take place. When a good friend who was accustomed to hearing my worries would tell me: "Be not solicitous," I would be frustrated and annoyed. This was different. This was worth worrying about. This had to be worried about.

To hand over a doubtful future entirely to God and to say with perfect trust: "I'm not worried. It will be the best. Thy Will be done," demands discipline and grace. To obey the command asks for childlike confidence in God. We have to believe that He does in fact know what is the best for our souls. We have to believe that He will give us the good things we need for salvation... even if we want something else. We have to believe that He will provide.

He does. He will. Be not solicitous.

Getting Through The Same-Old

2011-10-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

From the National Shrine

Now begins another week -- most likely a fairly ordinary and possibly boring week for most of you. We start this Monday with the same-old routines and tasks. This thought hit me hard in the face when I woke up this morning. But, then I read this in my email inbox, from Joel Osteen Ministries:

Learning to walk in the destiny God has for you is a process. The first step is to get a vision, a clear picture from God that you can see. The next step is to trust Him — to believe in faith that it will happen. And then finally, you take a step of faith and live out what God has promised no matter what your circumstances or people around you have to say.

Today, if you are having a hard time believing what God has promised will come to pass, understand that you are in a process. Don’t empower doubt with your words. Instead, keep declaring that He who promised is faithful! Keep the vision in front of you knowing that it is for an appointed time. Dream it and believe it because it won’t be long until you are living the blessed life God has prepared for you!

And sometimes, it is hard to believe God's promise. Sometimes we get caught up in the mundane and it's hard to keep going.

Last night at youth group, our youth minister gave us this incredible quote about Jesus' extreme and never-ending love for us: Jesus not only says He is Love, but He proves it on the cross. How great is that. Our God loves us so much -- and He proved it too. Surely this God will give us the strength to get through such ordinary and boring days.

We just need to understand that we are a process. God has something great planned for our future, but first we need to take the steps to get there. If you're in high school, that first great thing may be a job, or college. If you're working, that next big thing may be marriage, or finding your permanent place of work. Whatever it may be, God has something for you. And these ordinary days are necessary if we are to reach that wonder and true joy.

Today is a day when I need to keep hoping in God's enduring promise -- that my life does mean something, and every action I take is for a purpose.

To conclude, here's a quote by my dear friend St Therese, the perfect example of how to get through those very ordinary and boring days, when everything seems insignificant:

Far from resembling those beautiful saints who practiced all sorts of austerities from childhood, my penance consisted in breaking my self-will, in keeping back a sharp reply, in doing little kindnesses to those about me -- but considering these deeds as nothing.

Chocolate Quotes

2011-10-17T07:06:00.000-07:00

School keeps me busy, but there's always time for a quick break for chocolate, right? ;-) After all, according to Baron Justus von Liebig: "Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. It is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits." Here are a few more quotes gleaned from the internet about woman's best friend that made me smile.

The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!
---Terry Moore

There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.
---Linda Grayson

Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it worthwhile.
---Author Unknown

The bank of friendship cannot exist for long without deposits of chocolate.
---Anonymous

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
---Charles M. Schulz

When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate.
---Anonymous

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
---Anonymous

The superiority of chocolate, both for health and nourishment, will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America which it has in Spain.
---Thomas Jefferson

Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate.
---Sandra Boynton

If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. But you have no chocolate! I think of that again and again! My dear, how will you ever manage?
---Marquise de Sévigné

If at first you don't succeed, have a little chocolate.
---Anonymous

It has been shown as proof positive that carefully prepared chocolate is as healthful a food as it is pleasant; that it is nourishing and easily digested... that it is above all helpful to people who must do a great deal of mental work.
---Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is.
---Author Unknown

There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.
---Anonymous

Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but woman sure can.
---Author Unknown

Teresa of Avila

2011-10-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

As a Catholic young woman, having close relationships with the saints has always been very important to me. This is something some of my Protestant friends don’t seem to understand.

“I don’t pray to human beings,” one of them once said (rather snarkily, I thought).

“Neither do I,” I told him. “Catholics don’t pray to Mary and the saints; we ask for their intercession.”

“You address them directly, do you not?” he said, determined to be proved right. That struck me as the silliest argument of all.

“When you ask your mom, or your brother, or a dear friend, to pray for you,” I asked him, “do you address them directly, or not?”

He didn’t have an answer for that, but my response helped me understand why I love the saints so much. They are our big brothers and sisters in faith. They have finished the race and kept the faith – and they are cheering us on as we follow in their footsteps. They are the kindest of friends and the wisest of mentors, and I’ve been grateful for their help many times in my life.

Today is the feast of my patron saint, Teresa of Avila. My mother named me after her because Teresa is her favorite saint. She even gave me a copy of Teresa’s best-known book, Interior Castle, when I was only 11 (although I didn’t end up reading it until many years later, when I took a class on it in college).

St. Teresa has pulled me out of many scrapes over the course of our long friendship. To celebrate her feast, I wanted to share with you, dear readers, a few fun stories about “the great Saint Teresa.”

1. When Teresa was a very little girl, she decided that nothing could be a better than to be a martyr for the Faith. So she convinced her brother to join her and they ran away from home and headed for Moorish lands to be martyred. Being so young, however, she didn’t get very far before her uncle found her and brought her home.

2. Teresa was quite the party girl in her teens, but she reformed after sickness compelled her to read the lives of the saints. “Spiritual reading has made many saints,” wrote Josemaria Escriva, another great Spanish saint – it’s so true!

3. When Teresa became a Carmelite nun, her order had fallen into disorder and lax living. She reformed it almost single-handedly and was a crucial part of the “counter-reformation,” the Catholic Church’s response to the Protestant revolution.

4. Teresa was a very sassy, spunky woman, even in her relationship with God. One day, she was traveling to visit another convent when a terrible rainstorm overthrew her coach. As she and the driver climbed out of the mud, she could be heard saying crossly, “If this is the way you treat your friends, Lord, no wonder you have so few of them!”

5. Teresa had a very special relationship with St. John of the Cross, a Carmelite priest and a mystic like Teresa herself. Theirs was a model of the loving “spiritual friendship” that is possible between holy men and women. Alice von Hildebrand wrote about their relationship in her (amazing) new book, Man and Woman: A Divine Invention.

Finally, here is a beautiful prayer that Teresa composed and kept as her bookmark:

Let nothing disturb you,

Let nothing frighten you,

All things are passing:

God never changes.

Patience obtains all things.

He who has God

Finds he lacks nothing;

God alone suffices.

Were you named after a particular saint? How do you celebrate your feast day? My family usually has cake and presents in honor of the occasion. Who is your favorite saint? Besides St. Teresa, I'm very close to St. Peter and also St. Anthony (because I lose things so often, and St. Anthony is the patron of finding lost objects!).

May St. Teresa bless you today!

The Things That Really Matter

2011-10-14T07:09:00.000-07:00

---by Elisabeth Allen from Twenty Three and Soaring

Sometimes things happen ... big things. Important things. Life-changing things.

When things like this happen, it's like receiving a wake-up call ... a reality check. When things like this happen in my life, I'm forced to re-evaluate my life and priorities in the light of God and Eternity ... to ask myself, "What are the things that really matter to me ... to my family and friends ... to God? What are the things that will really matter when I'm 99? What are the things that will really matter when I see my Saviour face-to-face and embark on Eternity with Him ... when I hope to hear Him say,'Well done, good and faithful servant ...'?"

Something happened in my family's and my life recently. Something big ... important ... life-changing ...

Two of our 'bestest' and closest friends - a husband and wife - have been diagnosed with cancer. Both of them. These friends go way back ... I can hardly remember a time when we didn't know them. They were our pastor and pastor's wife ... he baptised me ... he called me his 'daughter' ... she told friends we were 'family' ... we've laughed and cried with them ... we've stayed in their house over and over again - touring their part of the country and driving their cars, staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning playing games and talking with them, finally going to sleep scattered around on the floor of the family room and spare bedroom (when there weren't enough beds to go round!).

And now ... now they've both got cancer. Maybe they'll be fine and live on to old age and great-grandparenthood, maybe their cancer isn't life-threatening or dangerous, maybe science can beat the cancer and save their lives. And God already knows what His plans for them are ... I know He does ... but I don't know anything else. So I'm asking myself, "What are the things that really matter? The laughter and tears and memories we share with our friends? The thousand or more miles between us now? The special - priceless! - things behind us? The Eternity to before us?"

More than that ... I'm asking myself, "Am I investing in the things that really matter? Am I pouring my heart and soul - giving up my life - into the things that really matter? If I was diagnosed with cancer, would the news rouse much love and concern? Would I leave behind me the things that really matter? Would I qualify to see my Saviour smile and hear Him say, 'Well done, good and faithful servant ...'?"

I've received a wake-up call and a reality check. Have I heeded them and asked myself, "What are the things that really matter?"

The Best of Men

2011-10-11T07:05:00.000-07:00

As girls we have our dreams of the 'ideal' man. Hopefully we give them up in time to meet the man who isn't perfect but good and strong. And hopefully we don't give them up temporarily. I've seen that happen. Occasionally I've even felt the temptation myself.

Why can't he be more romantic? Why can't he be more adventurous? Why can't he dance, or sing, or write beautiful letters? Why can't he be this? Why can't he be that?

For all that we claim to love our men, we seem to have a huge propensity to criticize them for not living up to our standards. I seriously doubt that we would like the favor to be returned and have him wondering, aloud or otherwise, why we can't be more graceful, more feminine, better housekeepers, or better dressers. And though he isn't, if he's good and strong he doesn't, because he loves us and sees all the beauty in us.

We should start trying harder to see the greatness in our men. It's there, and sometimes we're the only ones who can't see it because we have more emotional invest in him. But for that very reason we should see the best in him and support him.

Love isn't blind to faults, but it is patient, kind, and slow to anger. I imagine that a lot of the things we give our men a hard time (for instance, lack of romanticism) aren't actually faults at all. But even if they do have faults, love sees but doesn't focus on them. Love sees the goodness, and the potential for even more.

Our men our great, and like anyone they can be even better. Maybe all they need is the love and support of a good woman. Stand by him. Encourage him. See the greatness in him, and love the goodness. Your love for him should know: he's wonderful, and the best of men.

Pretty as a Picture

2011-10-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine spent the early part of the summer touring Europe, and thanks to Facebook I was able to get updates on where she was and what she was up to, as well as see all the latest pictures. It made me smile to see that wherever she went she was decked out in something pretty and feminine. The photos from places such as Rome, Paris, and Salzburg looked like they came from paintings. As much as I love the comfort and convenience of jeans and a t-shirt, I have to admit: those photos would not look the same if she hadn't been attired in those sweet skirts and dresses.

I like the idea of dressing like a painting. I like the idea of dressing in such a way that if I were in those places I wouldn't look out of place in their elegance, but rather fit right in... beauty meets beauty.

And it doesn't have to just be fitting in with those exceptional places and ancient exquisite buildings and gardens... there's the everyday places that aren't really that special or that beautiful. Those are the places that especially need a little loveliness to brighten them up. A pretty outfit can be that bit of loveliness.

I always look at old paintings and wonder why the world can't look as beautiful as it did in days gone by. But the fact is, it can... it can have at least the little bit of beauty that I can give to it, even if only once in awhile.

Courtship Prayer

2011-10-05T07:04:00.000-07:00

A dear sweet adopted sister of mine sent a holy card with this prayer on it last year. It was good timing on her part. One of the most important things you can do for your relationship is pray for it, so if you're currently dating a young man, add this quick prayer to your morning or night routine.

Remember, O Most Blessed Mother,

that never was it known that anyone

who fled to thy protection,

implored thy help,

or sought thy intercession,

was left unaided.

Inspired with this confidence,

unworthy as I am of they protection,

in the presence of God the Father, the Author of Life,

of God the Son, Who gave marriage the dignity of a sacrament,

of God the Holy Ghost, Who sanctified marital love,

I entrust my courtship to thy motherly protection.

Guide me in the choice of a partner.

Keep my courtship pure and chaste.

Bless our union with a holy love.

Watch over us from Heaven.

Send us grace to live in the favor of God

and to share in the eternal love

in which we shall all be united forever in Heaven.

Amen.

Savor Every Moment

2011-10-03T13:03:00.000-07:00

I just graduated from the University of Notre Dame in May, and now that I’m done with higher education (probably forever), I have had a chance to reflect on what I liked about my undergraduate experience and what I wish I had done differently. Most of my college experience was a blessed time, full of good friends, wise professors, excellent classes and a happy abundance of extracurricular activities. Yet despite the many joys of this time, there is one thing I would change, and I can sum it up for you in two words: Do Less.

It’s easy, as a college student, to overbook yourself with activities. As a matter of fact, I thought that was what I was supposed to do. During Freshman Orientation, I attended a special Mass for all of the new freshmen at which our vice-president of Student Affairs, Father Mark, gave a beautiful homily about enjoying our time at Notre Dame.

He told us about a recent conversation he had had with an elderly Notre Dame alumnus whose love for the school had only grown in the decades since his long-ago graduation.

“If I could go back there, and be an undergraduate again,” that old man had said to him, “I would squeeze every last drop out of that place.”

As a freshman, I pondered those words and internalized them. Squeeze out every last drop, I often thought, and I promised myself to do just that. So began an endless whirl of fun activities, the sort I’m sure you’re familiar with. Every weekend brought movie nights, dinner parties, and other outings with my friends, while weekdays were busy with lectures, plays and evening discussions on top of classes and homework. It was a charmed life and so much fun, but in the midst of it all, I would sometimes feel restless, as though my activities lacked a center. True, I tried to attend Mass daily, but at times even this beloved “date with Jesus” (if you will) became just another thing to check off on the to-do list, another activity to squeeze in between class and dinner.

Now that I’ve graduated, I find that the times I remember most fondly are not all the activities and events but rather the rare quiet moments between them all – the precious half-hours spent in Eucharistic Adoration, long walks around St. Mary’s and St. Joseph’s lakes, the rare ten minutes of prayer at our miniature Lourdes Grotto. It seems that the activities and events, while enjoyable, have merged into a colorful blur, while those moments of peaceful prayer shine with crystalline brightness in my memory. And I realized that I had the order wrong the whole time, after all. To “squeeze out every last drop” did not mean to go to every single event and activity on campus. It meant to savor, to cherish, to enjoy the small and simple moments that happen every day.

From this realization emerged another: in many ways, the time a person spends at college can be seen as a microcosm of the person’s whole life. You are the same person throughout, after all, and the things you struggle with as an undergraduate will be the same things you struggle with all through your life.

Already, I can see the temptation to over-schedule myself is coming back (it’s an easy trap to fall into, as I’m sure those of you who are social butterflies know well). Racing from work to grocery shopping, from evening lectures to coffee dates, I have to remind myself sometimes of what I learned from my undergraduate career: savor every moment, don’t cram it with activities.

So as one of the resident college grads and working women here at the Catholic Young Woman, that’s the advice I want to share with my high school and undergraduate readers: don’t fill up your schedule. Say no to the occasional activity. Make time to sit in silence, to write, to read, to think, to dream, and most of all to converse with God.

And if I’m being entirely honest here, that’s the advice I want to give myself too.

Male Companionship

2011-10-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

When I began my freshman year in college my first friends were guys. In fact, the first student I met on campus was a young man who turned out to be one of my best friends as time went on. It took me a little longer to get to know the girls, but when I did I proceeded to scare some of them half to death by the way I interacted with the guys... that is, how comfortable I was around them. One of the many blessings of growing up with six brothers!

I love the attitude of not dating a young man unless marriage is considered the goal, but I very much dislike one of the side-effects that seems to accompany it: a crippling shyness around boys, a conviction that inevitably either he'll fall in love with me or I'll fall in love with him. Resolving to date only husband material shouldn't mean that every young man you meet has to be thought of in terms of a potential husband. Rather, they're brothers in Christ. There is such a thing as friendship with a boy, and if you don't have that you're missing out.

Guys have a humor unique to them... it's witty, it's goofy, it's full of fun and joy of living. Even when I'm not particularly interested in talking about video games in and of themselves, the enthusiasm of those boys is contagious. There's nobody it's more fun to bake cookies and brownies for. I've appreciated their stolid thought and advice when I'm in an emotional whirlwind. Their manly approach to the Faith has taught me a great deal about fortitude and perseverance. And it makes me feel safe when a steady hand falls on a waving dinner knife in the middle of a conversation and one boy says to another: "The knife was getting a little too close to Clare."

Seriously, girls, if you don't have any good guy friends in your life, you're missing out. Male companionship does so much to expand your world and way of thinking. As Anne of Green Gables reflects:

She could not help thinking, too, that it would be very pleasant to have such a friend as Gilbert to jest and chatter with and exchange ideas about books and studies and ambitions. Gilbert had ambitions, she knew, and Ruby Gillis did not seem the sort of person with whom such could be profitably discussed. There was no silly sentiment in Anne's ideas concerning Gilbert. Boys were to her, when she thought about them at all, merely possible good comrades. If she and Gilbert had been friends she would not have cared how many other friends he had nor with whom he walked. She had a genius for friendship; girl friends she had in plenty; but she had a vague consciousness that masculine friendship might also be a good thing to round out one's conceptions of companionship and furnish broader standpoints of judgment and comparison.

Get to Know Christ

2011-09-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

In the summertime our small church began a study of the Gospel of Matthew. Because school called a month into the study I wasn't able to attend all the meetings, but what I did get was wonderful. The theology course my freshman year of college consisted of reading through the entirety of the Bible, and though we didn't get too spend a whole lot of time on any given book, it was truly extraordinary to look a little deeper into it, to ask questions and look for answers.

Sophomore year we were given St. Augustine's On Christian Doctrine, which contains the rules for interpreting Scripture, and a paper assignment that required us to interpret an option of verses according to those rules. This increased my fascination, and over the summer I looked into commentaries by Augustine, Aquinas, and the Church Fathers.

I wouldn't be surprised if you've heard at least once in your lifetime that Catholicism isn't very biblical. In one respect, if we know our faith and the fact that it was the Church that compiled the Bible, this accusation is laughable. In another way it isn't very funny at all, because it's true that in a large part Catholics aren't raised to be as attached to Scripture as other Christians.

This is a pity, because we are raised to follow Christ and become like Him. But, in the words of St. Jerome: "Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ." The saints, from the great Thomas Aquinas to the little Therese of Lisieux, were immersed in Scripture, because they knew it was their key to knowing, loving, and serving God.

The depth in Scripture is something that you really have to experience. Every time I read I find something new and precious: something of theology, some insight into God's love, some encouragement for my journey to Him, some depth of mystery, some stirring poetry, some beautiful word of my Savior.

There's no reason for Catholics not to make Scripture a bigger part of life, and every reason to.

Next time you're in Mass, really listen to the words of Scripture.

Try reading the Bible straight through from cover-to-cover sometime. I never really saw the grandness of the story of salvation until I saw the progression from creation to the old covenant to exile to the new covenant.

Make it part of your morning or evening routine to read a little bit of Scripture. It doesn't have to be a lot... just a bit. Choose a book and read a chapter every day, really paying attention to what is being said.

If your church is offering a Bible study, continue signing up for it.

Read some commentary along with a certain book. Aquinas' are favorites of mine, particularly his commentary on the Gospel of John.

Memorize some of your favorite Scripture verses. Sometimes I don't have my Bible with me and I wish I did, so I love to have a few verses in my mind that I can mull over.

In short, really get to know Christ. Read your Bible.

What Kind of Dress Should I Wear?

2011-09-28T07:03:00.000-07:00

In the summer one of our priests gave a homily in which he talked about how much time and fretting we put into earthly things, such as what kind of lipstick we should wear, and don't take the time for God. The homily was fairly general, but the last example stuck with me in context of what he said immediately afterward:

"Or, for instance, what kind of dress should I wear? ... When we do this, we're getting caught up with material things."

I wonder if sometimes in our quest for modesty we get so caught up with that question - what kind of dress should I wear? - that it becomes focused on the material side of things. I know that it's happened to me. I was so concerned with what I and others were wearing that it became almost a purely material concern with me. When it gets to the point where our love for modesty becomes more of an obsession, and we care about the perfectly modest outfit in the same way that a woman would care about designer labels, and we look down on the dress that's an inch shorter than our ideal in the same way that a woman would like down on the dress that was secondhand... well, maybe at the point our mindset isn't so much modest as it is materialistic.

Now, I don't believe that it's just what's inside that counts. I don't believe that a woman with a modest heart can wear whatever she likes. Rather, I believe that genuine modesty of heart should be reflected in our exterior.

But I don't think it's just what's outside that counts, either. Exterior modesty should be a symbol of a quiet and humble heart, not the good Catholic woman's fashion trap.

If you're so concerned with modesty that half an inch is going to matter more than a gentle heart and that you're plagued daily with the stress of what you're going to wear and the stress of seeing a fellow woman who shows a wee bit more of her arm than you believe in, maybe it's time to step away from material things, stop worrying so much about what kind of dress you should wear, and rest peacefully for awhile in the heart of Christ, where you can learn the graces to dress your heart with.

Tess C.

2011-09-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

Dearest Readers,

My name is Theresa Maria, or Tess to my friends, and I’m writing to introduce myself as the newest contributor to Catholic Young Woman.

Here are a few fun facts to know about me:

5. I grew up near Chicago, IL, as the oldest of seven children, including an identical twin sister. Having a twin is just as much fun as you might imagine! She is my best friend and, yes, we have occasionally switched places on teachers.

My sister and I when she visited me last month (I'm in red).

4. I just graduated from the University of Notre Dame in May, where I earned a degree in the Program of Liberal Studies (a Great Books program) and in journalism. Like many of you, literature is my passion, and I can be found with a book in my purse anywhere I go. Right now I’m carrying around Walker Percy’s Love in the Ruins and St. Therese’s Story of a Soul.

Graduation day!

3. Now that I’ve graduated college, I’m working full time in Washington, D.C., as a reporter at a political magazine. One great perk of this job is that publishing companies send me free books to review, which is fantastic, and really fuels my reading habit. And if you like, I would love to get suggestions for what book to review next!

2. I love home decorating, cooking, and otherwise being blissfully domestic. Now that I have my own apartment (with my lovely roommate Sarah), we love to host dinner parties, adorn our walls with maps and art, and otherwise make a beautiful home life.

Sarah and I hosting our first dinner party.

1. The center of my life, as it is for my lovely readers, is my relationship with Christ. I am fascinated by the rich tradition and profound beauty of our faith. What a gift and a joy it is to be Catholic!

I am so looking forward to getting to know you and to sharing my reflections with you, as a brand-new “working girl” and one of the older members of the Catholic Young Woman writing staff. Please contact me any time with ideas, questions, or observations, and may God bless you!

Tess

Ideas for a Tea Party

2011-09-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

Last Easter break a bunch of us girls got together in one of the rooms for a tea party. We dressed up, chatted, laughed, and had a merry time. That day I was playing guest, but I've also had the opportunity to play hostess on several occasions. If you're looking for a fun and feminine way to spend some time with your girlfriends, a tea party is a great idea, and here are a few tips on making it a great experience.

Send out invitations. Impromptu get-togethers can be fun, but you can make the fun and elegance of the party begin days prior by sending out sweet little invitations to the guests. Write them out in your best handwriting or choose a lovely script font on your computer, and give the date, time, and place.

Dress up. This isn't necessary, but it's awesome and I highly recommend it anyway. When you send out the invitations include encouragement to the guest to dress-up. The majority of girls will find a tea party dressed in all their finery extra-special.

Bring tea treats. Tea is great, but for a real party something more is needed. Include some kind of food with the tea... anything from muffins to cookies. Ideally try to make sure that the tea flavors and the treat flavors go well together.

Have a selection of teas. Since this is a real tea party, chances are you'll be serving out of a teapot, so it won't be a "tea of your choice in the mug and add hot water affair." You'll have particular teas brewed in the teapots, so try to have at least a couple options for your guests.

Make a pleasant atmosphere. A pretty tablecloth, a couple vases of flowers, good lighting, and even some sweet background music add so much to a tea party. Try to add some delicate feminine touches to the decor to make your guests feel even more ladylike and special.

Serve the tea. Really play the part of hostess and serve your guests tea. Add sugar and milk according to their preference. Serve yourself last, and then take a seat, but keep an eye on them and be ready to ask if they'd like more.

Guide the conversation. A great girl get-together can easily turn sour if the conversation goes bad. Even if everyone seems to be enjoying it, gossip isn't very good for your ladylike tea party. Don't scold, but do try to steer the conversation clear of negative topics, and have a good word for everyone.

Give thanks. At the end of the party thank everyone for coming, and make it clear that you really were glad to have them. After all, their presence contributed just as much as your tea.

And have fun!

Safe in My Father's Arms

2011-09-21T07:05:00.000-07:00

---by Elisabeth Allen from Twenty Three and Soaring

On Sunday morning, at church with my family, I sat at the back of the sanctuary - surrounded by a lot of families with little children and babies ...

During one of the worship songs, I noticed the family next to us. The little boy - maybe eighteen months old - was fussing and wanted his daddy to hold him. His daddy wanted to sing the worship song, but picked the little boy up and held him. At once the little boy stopped fussing and cuddled up on his daddy's chest, wrapped his arms around his neck ... and looked at the rest of the church - and life! - from the safety of his daddy's arms.

I remember when I was a little girl and my daddy picked me up and held me during church services ... I remember when I was small enough to cuddle up on my daddy's chest ... I remember when I felt safe and secure because I was in my daddy's arms. In those days, I didn't need any other security. From the safely of his arms, I looked at life and ... it was great! Because I was safe in my daddy's arms.

It occurred to me, while I was trying to simultaneously sing the worship song and watch the little boy and his daddy (without them noticing that I was watching them!) ... am I not supposed to feel safe and secure when my Heavenly Father holds me? Am I not to find my security in Him and His faithfulness? Am I not supposed to be able to look at life and find it great when I'm in my Heavenly Father's arms?

Not because my life is perfect and nothing bad ever happens to me, but because my Heavenly Father loves me, has plans for me and works all things together for good for me. Because He's bigger and stronger than my daddy and I'll never out-grow His arms. Because when He holds me, I'm safe ... safe in my Father's arms. (Perhaps with this realisation, I can learn to find life great and worry less. Wouldn't that be nice ...)

Beauty in Barren Places

2011-09-18T07:03:00.000-07:00

Last summer my brothers and I climbed a local mountain. When we reached the over ten thousand foot summit, we encountered very little that was green and growing. The terrain was rocky and crusty, and the tallest 'tree' there was no more than a flat shrub. After hours of hiking upwards, we found ourselves rewarded not with some green paradise, but with barren lands.

But there was a bunch of flowers growing from the crags of the granite, and their bright beauty was even clearer for how unusual it was in this place.

In my spiritual journey I've often found myself toiling up some great mountain, hesitant about leaving the lush woodlands below, but certain that what waits for me at the end is better than what I've left behind. And almost every time, when I reach the summit of that first mountain, the land around me is barren.

Why, Lord? Why does following you seem to bring me suffering? You say that your yoke is light, but it seems that every time I take it up things get harder. Why?

Of course we believe that there really will be beauty waiting for us at the end of the road, if we can cross all those wastelands. But perhaps there is beauty in those barren places, too, if we would give it.

I wonder if there was ever a road so barren as the road of Calvary which Christ took to His death. It was marked by pain and suffering, but those of us who have followed the Way of the Cross know that it was marked by beauty as well. His Mother. Veronica. Perhaps there was even beauty in the spilling of Blood, because it was the sign of redemption for the world.

Perhaps there is beauty in our barren places, flowers that spring up between the crags of the rocks, and perhaps this beauty is the absence of questions and regret for what is behind us. Perhaps these bright drops of beauty are created when we say, in the midst of our emptiness: "Not my will, but Thy Will be done."

Storing Up Summer Treasures

2011-09-16T06:44:00.000-07:00

---by Catherine of Maria's Lilies

Since summer will soon be slipping into her autumn gown, it's no surprise that the curtain closed last week on my local library's Summer Reading Club. While I'm not overly saddened by the club's closure-- I reached my goal of fifty books, and my reading repertoire spans well past the month of August--it does remind me of an important lesson I learned last year.

It was a lovely, sun-soaked morning in August. I'd been filtering through my overcrowded inbox for about five minutes when I came across a mysterious email from my local library.

What could this be? I thought to myself. I've renewed all of my books that were due, and I don't have any excessive fines, save for a pending forty cents. What could they want?

When I finally mustered up the courage to open it, I was stunned. It was a message announcing the winners to the Adult Summer Reading Club.

And an even bigger shocker: I wasn't one of them!

As soon as I heard that my local public library was sponsoring a summer reading program for adults, I signed up. It sounded easy enough: Read as many books as you can, and for every three books logged, receive a free book. I got started late, but since I'm usually reading three or four books at a time, it posed no problem. Also, I already have more books than my house can hold, so I wasn't too concerned about racking up the rewards. I just thought it would be a fun way to keep track of what I was reading and how much.

The week before the program's end date, I'd logged about twenty books. Not a particularly impressive number, but I was still satisfied, presuming that the handful of free tomes I'd garnered were the only prizes up for grabs. But when I got the email announcing the winners (first place had read over seventy books!) and the gargantuan goody bag of prizes the lucky six were to receive, my first thought was: I could have read that many books. I should be the winner!

As a matter of fact, I know I could have read that many books. I have about thirty books stacked beside my bed right now and recently finished four of them in a matter of days. Thus, I was disappointed that I didn't strive harder to meet my potential. If only I'd known what was at stake, I would have definitely tried to read more--a lot more.

We always tend to put more into something when a prize is involved--the bigger and more desirable the prize, the harder we work to attain it. Why is it, then, that we struggle and sweat to receive rewards and accolades on earth, but often slack when heaven is at stake? What greater prize could be bestowed upon us than the gift of salvation? Of eternal life with Jesus, Mary, and the saints? Of the beauty of the Beautific Vision?

We may not realize it when the earthly treasures we desire are glinting like gold before our eyes, but God's goody bag is filled with more gifts than we could ever imagine or that this world could ever offer us. Even better than that: there is enough for everyone. There's no first, second, or third place in heaven, and there are way more than six rooms in God's house. Still, it's up to us to make the effort and get there. We must put our ALL into loving and serving God now so as not to "miss the mark" later.

Similarly, we should pick up the pace to achieve our goal of salvation for the plain and simple fact that we love God, not His gifts. The measure of gifts we receive from our Beloved will be a by-product of our own effort and determination to receive them.

Sort of like the reading club. I put my name down as a participant in the program not because I wanted to compete, or collect rewards, or be recognized as the greatest reader in my city. No--I did it because I love to read.

And as I deleted the message for good, I reminded myself not to store up for myself treasures on earth, "where rust and moth consume" (that could certainly apply to books!), but to store up the true treasures of heaven.

------

Even though summer has pretty much come to an end, that doesn't mean your summer reading has to! Here are a few of my favorite must-reads for the summer--or end of summer--season.

1. Rose in Bloom, by Louisa May Alcott. Great for girls discerning their vocation, this wholesome Victorian romance chronicles the life of Rose Campbell as she blossoms from a young girl to a virtuous and godly woman.

2. Lilies of the Field, by William E. Barrett. This touching novella about a drifting ex-GI who sets out to build a chapel for a group of nuns is a reminder of how God's heavenly care shapes each of our lives.

3. Goodbye, Mr. Chips, by James Hilton. A warm, often humorous, tale illustrating how an average schoolteacher touches the lives of generations of students.

4. The Bridge of San Luis Rey, by Thornton Wilder. Winner of the Pulitzer Prize, this gripping story is about a Franciscan monk who attempts to prove that the deaths of five people from the collapse of a bridge was the workings of Divine Providence.

5. Silas Marner, by George Eliot. A powerful moral allegory about an elderly miser who finds redemption after a beauty, golden-haired fondling is mysteriously left to his care.

Catherine is a 21-year-old graduate of Ashworth College's Professional Children's Writing Program and a current student with the Institute of Children's Literature. As a former Teen Editor of True Girl, her writing has been published on The Catholic Young Woman blog and in TG and Saint Maria's Messenger. She is also a regular contributor to the Catholic blog for young girls, Maria's Lilies.

Return to Me (2000)

2011-09-15T07:07:00.000-07:00

I know that what's happened has been overwhelming. And I know it's going to take a while to sort it all out. But while you're sorting, I want you to remember that all the times I prayed that Gracie would have a second chance at life, I always knew that if God blessed us, the heart she got would have to be from a very special person, if it were going to be at home in Grace. When she met you, her heart beat truly for the first time. Perhaps it was meant to be with you always.

~ It's a super sweet and corny movie... corny being said in the most positive way ~

~ Minnie Driver is the cutest thing ever ~

~ Her character, Grace, is a curly girl and wears such pretty feminine outfits ~

~ The movie is very Catholic-themed ~

~ Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin dominate the soundtrack ~

~ I may be a hopeless romantic, but I love movies about true love ~

~ The grandfather, played by Carroll O'Connor, is both super sweet and super humorous ~

~ It's very Irish and very Italian ~

~ The romance is very centered around family ~

~ Appropriate to a romance, it has a happy ending ~

~ Recommended to watch with good girlfriends and chocolate :-) ~

How to Love Others

2011-09-14T14:30:00.000-07:00

Clare did a post about how to talk about others. I feel this goes hand in hand with how to love others -- for if we love others, we will want the best for them.

One of my favorite saints at the moment -- and hopefully forever -- is St. Therese, The Little Flower. Her doctrine revolves around the idea of loving every person, and praying for them in order to save their souls. Through her "little way," she found such favor with God.

On my Facebook page, I posted this note a couple days ago and wanted to share it here. Most of the text is from my Magnificat and written by Dom LeFebvre, O.S.B. I added commentary as well:

In the image of the Persons of the Trinity, each of whom is all that he is in relationship with the other two, a person is made for relationship with others and this is the only way he or she can develop. Turning inwards individualistically is isolation; we become persons in relationship with others. [So true!! We are meant to love others, and is the most basic vocation.]

But we can only truly turn to others by turning to God. In Him alone can our relationships with others reach their proper depth.

To love others, and to respect them as that love requires, we must recognize their special relationship with GOD. God calls each single person and puts desire in his heart, that desire for God which is each man's truth and proper stature. But before we can see this in others, we must find it in ourselves. [From ourselves, and our personal relationship with our God, we can then see God in others more clearly -- and this helps us to look at all as our brothers and sisters!]

To believe in this presence of God in all human life without being put off by appearances we must have experienced with amazement the faithfulness of God's love for us, however unfaithful we have been. ... If we wish to see our neighbor as we should, we must see him as he is in the eyes of God. Only then can we love him. This is why it is necessary to see ourselves in the eyes of God. Then we can love with that love which comes from Christ. A love which is different from all human good will, because we respect our neighbor for his relationship with Christ, even if he does not know it, because Christ knows every man.

Thus, we can be witnesses to the love of Christ by recognizing his persence in our love.

~~~

How simple this vocation: love. But it truly is what we are all called to do -- and something this simple spreads wonders! Imagine what can happen if we all smile at someone else, and love them as Christ loves them. It will spread, and keep on spreading.

How good it is to spread happiness and joy than pain or suffering.

Mentors

2011-09-13T06:59:00.000-07:00

The first person I met at college wasn't a student. Mrs. A did have a son in the class above me, but I didn't meet him until several days after I'd been adopted by her. She was the wife of one of the tutors and a friend of my mothers, so I was introduced to her when parents and students were assembled at the annual freshman barbecue. A couple days later I found a note from her in my mailbox. In it she told me that if I ever felt in need of a mother, I had the Blessed Mother... and I had her, too.

I took her up on it, and she's turned out to be one of the most significant people in my college experience. During my shaky freshman year when I was settling in and seemed to be bombarded with hard studies and complicated relationships all at once, I could always count on her to give me a hug and good advice. Even on the days I didn't actually call on her, it was comforting to know that I could if I needed the help. She was easy to talk to, as well as being good to talk to. Her advice was always based on the words of the saints, and it was given in a way that was real and genuine. In the first semester of my sophomore year when she was driving me back and forth from appointments for a broken arm I'd unintentionally slip into talking to her about anything and everything... I think I adopted her as much as she adopted me!

Girls don't seem to interact very much with older women these days, and I think it's a shame. It's not that I don't appreciate the value of a good friend my own age to pour my heart out to; but when we don't look for the advice of those who have the wisdom and experience to really guide us, we're missing out. I would have been missing out on a great deal of grace, humor, and good thought if I hadn't made the acquaintance of Mrs. A.

If she meant and means so much to me as a college student, I can only imagine what an older woman would mean to a girl a little further in life... newlywed, learning how to keep a house, having her first baby... it doesn't seem like these essential parts of our lives are things we should have to work through on our own. But either we're not reaching out to the older women around us, or they're not reaching out to us, or a little of both, because more often than not we have to turn to books or to equally confused peers to get answers.

Thank God for women like Mrs. A. who have been there to give a helping hand, a promise of prayer, and tea and a hug for the young women around her who want to grow up to be like her and don't know how.

Encourage Him

2011-09-10T07:13:00.000-07:00

Popular media has a tendency to demean men these days. They're presented as unintelligent, unimaginative, and often outclassed by women in physical strength, the area one would think they obviously dominate. The world has taken up the boys vs. girls mentality with a vengeance, and does what it can to make sure the girls are presented as the victors.

As a girl with six brothers and many wonderful guy friends, I find this unfortunate and in many ways extremely pathetic. Are we so insecure that we have to dedicate such a vast deal of our energy tearing men down, rather than encouraging and building up our brothers in Christ? So much for being strong!

Respect means a great deal to men, especially from the women around them. We have the power to make his day, or to wound him in a way that will haunt him. A critical word or a put-down is the sort of thing that might come back to his mind in the moments when he most needs to be strong and have confidence in himself.

"Comfort one another, and edify one another," says St. Paul in his first letter to the Thessalonians.

If we're building up our fellow women, we're on the right track. But how many of us encourage our brothers in Christ? When is the last time we told him: "Good job", "I'm proud of you", or, "I respect you"?

Try to be an encourager to the men in your life. Praise him on his accomplishments. Listen respectfully to his thoughts on things. Thank him for his strength and protection in your life. Encourage him!

How to Talk about Others

2011-09-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

It's a well-known fact that girls are really focused on relationships, and hence they're generally pretty good at them. We like to get to know one another, talk to one another even when it's nothing important - just to check in, laugh, and share - and feel close to one another.

Unfortunately, one of our chief bonding methods is ultimately detrimental to good relationships, rather than supportive of them. That bonding method is based on our fondness of intimacy with one another, which involves talking... a lot of it.

Or, to put it another way, gossip.

It makes sense when you think of it. Relationships are an important part of our lives, and because they're so important we naturally want to talk about them when we're with our girlfriends. And we do, often with realizing the effects it can have, and how it will lead from one bad thing to another until it damages the relationships of other girls with each other and with us.

Gossip has always been frowned upon from a Catholic point of view. Anyone who has browsed through Scripture knows that it's full of warnings against an unruly tongue. The Catechism speaks very severely against offenses against truth and the dignity of fellow human beings.

I've lived in the girl world for awhile now, and this is an all-too-common scenario I encounter: Girl #1 is having a difficulty with Girl #2, so because interaction boosts her mood she has a good session of complaining to Girl #3. The immediate effects seem positive. #1 feels better after venting, and #3 feels loved for being chosen as the confidant. But then things take a darker turn. #3 wants to share the love, so she passes along the information to an indefinite amount of other girls, who pass it along to others in their turn. Of course things get spiced up in the meantime. And so an indefinite amount of other girls start giving Girl #2 the cold shoulder because they know things about her that she might not even know herself. Eventually it gets back around to #2, and all the trust she had in #1 is gone. Their relationship is battered, #3's relationships with all the girls who heard the dirt on her is battered, and somewhere deep inside every girl wonders if every other girl gossips about her in other situations.

But, at the same time, since girls do have an inclination to talk, and it seems to be a very big part of our nature, it makes sense not to get rid of it altogether. We women build and nurture our relationships through conversation.

So don't give up entirely on talking to your friends about your other friends. Just do it a bit differently, and use your words to bless others and build good relationships between you and them. Instead of criticizing others behind their backs, praise them. Instead of letting everyone know what another girl did to annoy you, let them know what she did to make you smile.

Become a woman who is trusted by those who knows her, who lives up to that trust, and spreads love among her friends and acquaintances.

Burn with Love

2011-09-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've started a sort of blogging notebook, in the hopes I can keep my various ideas more organized. During some reading of the saints a couple weeks ago, I wrote this quote at the top of one page, intending to make a post out of it:

What things in your life are keeping you from burning with love for God?

I think this is a very important issue. So many individuals claim to be religious, or claim to have faith, but far fewer actually show that. Far fewer actually burn with love for God. And I admit, this is an area that I too struggle with.

For my recent birthday, I received a crucifix necklace. On the back are the words "Love God" in the cross shape. This is all well and good. Everywhere one turns, there is some medium telling him to love God and keep faith. But I think there is a difference between just loving God, and really burning with love for Him.

Burning with love for Him takes extra effort, and extra time. It requires that we be willing to form a deep relationship with God. It requires that we put God above ourselves, and really trust in His plans for us, because we know they are better than any of our own. Truly, burning with love for God is the same as loving another human being, only much much greater.

When you love another individual, you need to be willing to sacrifice your life for them, and willing to put them first. With God, this is increased to a much greater level. God loves us more than anything else He created, so why do we not love Him the same?

I'm going to be starting my senior year of high school tomorrow. With the return of classes, I know that I will be very short on time. One thing all of us must remember is that God should be the most important part of our lives. In order to truly burn with love for Him, we need to set aside the time to prayer and talk with Him. He is waiting to listen.

There will always be things in our lives -- whether they be temptations, lack of time, too many commitments, doubt, sin, etc -- that are going to try and keep us from the Father. That is the Devil's main goal -- keeping us away! We cannot let that happen, and so we must examine what's in our own lives.

"Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm."

(Ephesians 6:13)

This verse really emphasizes the fact that God will bring us to do great things. In the words of St Therese, "Love can do all things." And so we must burn with love for God.

Settling and Ideals

2011-09-03T07:08:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I was in a group of girls who had hopes and dreams about love and marriage in the future, but knew it was too soon to be worrying about it practically. These days I'm at the age when marriage is no longer a future but a present possibility... at least, insofar as we're old enough to be married. The problem is that as far as having a man goes, it seems to be a future possibility still.

Now, I'm no proponent of the silly ideals for the "tall, dark, and melancholy" that we girls tend to cling to when we're teenagers, and unfortunately sometimes beyond. Hopefully we're willing to give up those notions for something a great deal better: a good and strong man who is also real.

But I don't like it when girls are encouraged to abandon some of their ideals that really are important... encouraged to settle, because it might give them a better chance of getting married. Settling only makes sense if your goal is simply to get married. If your goal is to serve God, it doesn't make sense. Yet marriage and motherhood is such a deep desire for so many young women that they're willing to let go of some things to improve their chances. Maybe she'll try to dress a bit more 'attractively' to get a bit more attention. Maybe she'll start hanging out with what she previously would have called the less desirable crowd. Maybe she'll start trying to be a bit more 'cool' and try to avoid looking silly and naive.

"Tall, dark, and melancholy" is a very superficial ideal. But modesty is a good, solid ideal. Friendships with good people who will draw us closer to God is a good, solid ideal. Devotion to Him, femininity, and purity are not silly and naive... they're good.

If a guy just isn't right, it doesn't do to make excuses. If he's great with kids but doesn't share your faith, is your faith something you want to compromise on, especially since it might not be so great for the kids? Girls want to settle down and be married, but instead of settling, maybe the wait will be worth it.

This isn't to say that a man has to be perfect to be the marrying kind. But if your ideal is a man who will stand beside you in your faith and walk the road to Heaven with you, hold onto it. Hopefully he's holding onto his ideal for the same kind of girl, so pray that God will give you the grace to be that sort for him. And neither of you settle for less than that.

This Side of Heaven

2011-08-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

---by Elisabeth Allen of Twenty Three and Soaring

I wish ... I was perfect.

I wish I never had an unpleasant thought.
I wish I never said an unkind word.
I wish I never did an ungenerous deed.

I wish I was ... perfect.

I know I am not going to be perfect this side of heaven.
I know it.
Really I do.

But I still wish ...

I'm 23 years old and I've been a Christian almost all my life. I should be better, live better, do better. Shouldn't I?

And yet ... I am human. And I know (really I do) that as long as I am human - as long as I live and breath this side of heaven - I am going to trip up and mess up.

Unpleasant thoughts spring to my mind ... apparently from nowhere.
Unkind words trip off the end of my tongue ... just like that.
Ungenerous deeds don't seem all that bad compared to ... robbing a bank.

I am human and ... God knows that and He has made a way for me to be reconciled with Him and walk closely with Him.

But every time I trip up and mess up ... every time I am guilty of a thought or word or deed that is not pleasant and kind and generous - that is not worthy ... every time ...

I wish (again) I was perfect ... this side of heaven.

Where Has Beauty Gone?

2011-08-27T06:50:00.000-07:00

Do you ever ask yourself this? I do, particularly when I come home for the summer holidays. I'm very blessed to go to a college that prizes beauty and recognizes its importance in bringing the soul closer to God. Our campus is beautiful, and our chapel is simply exquisite. A great deal of work is put into making sure that our dormitories don't become so functional that they lose their soul-refreshing aspect. Our courtyards are elegant and our common areas are decorated with beautiful art. Our liturgies are full of tradition, and our choir sings some of the best of old sacred music.

Stepping back into the 'real' world, I'm startled by the lack of all these things. The music is popular, 'art' means strange contortions of metal, buildings are sterile and streamlined, and our liturgies attempt to be accessible to the people and end up being only staid.

Are we inviting beauty into our lives and encouraging it? Just this past summer I had to take a look at the ways that I was bringing beauty into my home and commit to trying a little harder. As much as I love my college, it has made me a little spoiled. I can passively receive all it has to offer without putting any effort into finding that beauty. Consequently it fades away when I'm not there.

What kind of music do you listen to? Is there anything truly beautiful in your collection, universally recognized as feeding the intellect and the soul? Not that I don't love a good country station, but... next time you're driving in the car, switch on the classical station and let the beauty fill your mind. Try cooking dinner to one of the great composers of sacred music, such as Palestrina or Byrd.

What kind of books do you read? Give some of your reading time every day to something beautiful, like the epic poems of Homer and Virgil. I personally have never read anything that moved my soul so much as Dante's Divine Comedy.

What kind of art do you look at? I have to admit, this is where I fail the most. I know very little about painting, and am almost thoroughly ignorant of the great painters. But I would like to delve a bit deeper... learn some of their names and styles, contemplate of some of the masterpieces, and learn to appreciate the art better. There's something older and more beautiful than movies out there.

This isn't a call to cast aside everything besides the old greats - though I wish I had the courage to put aside all my music but the classical genre for at least a year - but rather an invitation to open the treasure chest of past ages and be surrounded by Beauty. If you let Beauty in, your world will be changed to something higher and richer for it.

Four C's

2011-08-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

There are many kinds of 'marks' of a lady. I hope the women I know who are real ladies don't notice too much the way I scrutinize them, trying to pin down the qualities that set them apart, the qualities that I want to imitate. There are four traits that I've observed that any real lady has. These are the traits I've been focusing on lately, noting how they exist in the lady and what they mean.

Character. I've not met a single lady who doesn't possess this trait. One of the marks of a great woman is that she has a good sense of morality and that she stands by the things that she believes in. Conformity for the sake of conformity has no place in the life of a lady. She doesn't try to set herself apart out of pride, but if it comes to a choice she will never compromise on her beliefs.

Courtesy. A lady stands up for what she believes in, but she does it with courtesy. She recognizes the dignity of others and treats them with respect accordingly. She is characterized by her consideration for others, and her humility and grace in dealing with them. And her courtesy is not dependent on the manners of those she addresses... her courtesy is based on her respect for human dignity, not on the behavior of others.

Confidence. The more time goes by, the more I'm convinced that one of the secrets of beauty and accomplishment is confidence. A lady has confidence because it allows her to do things with strength and to approach life glowing and hopeful.

Caring. Perhaps the most important quality of a lady. She isn't out for her own gain. Ultimately she serves, and she serves with compassion. A lady can always be recognized by her genuine concern for others, her desire to make them comfortable and happy, and open, helpful heart.

In closing, here's a beautiful quote from William Arthur Ward:

Blessed is the woman who has a smile in her voice, a sparkle in her eyes, a song on her lips; a spring in her step, a warmth in her touch, a depth in her beauty, a purpose for her life, a joy in her faith, a hope in her breast and a love in her heart.

Dressing Like Mary

2011-08-23T06:50:00.000-07:00

---by Marissa Feiring

The Blessed Mother is the perfect woman. I'm sure we can all agree on that. But how many of us reflect our admiration of her in the way we dress? Mary has an iconic style. In all her apparitions, the seers pretty much unanimously reported that she was dressed in flowy garments, with a sash about her waist, and a veil on her head. However, it would look very unusual if we all started walking around in the fashion of 30 A.D., so we need to modernize the outfit a bit.

For a pants outfit, start with a white, flowy shirt as your starter. Tunic shirts are perfect for this. They add more coverage to your bottom area, and add grace to an otherwise ordinary pair of jeans.

Then, add a pair of bootcut or slim fitting jeans, depending on your body shape. Curvy girls get bootcut, straight-figured girls get slim jeans. If you choose to wear slim jeans, please keep it modest. Make sure they have some give and aren't skin tight. If you can't comfortably cross your legs, they are too tight.

Then, define your waist with a belt or a sash. For a truly Marian look, wear a blue belt. There are so many different shades of blue, so get creative and find one that matches your personality or coloring best. Robins egg, aqua, teal, ocean gray, midnight blue... I could go on and on!

Then, instead of a mantle, wear a beautiful headband. This company has absolutely gorgeous headbands. As a caveat, it is so hard just to pick one or two if you buy one! For footwear, find a nice, comfortable pair of ballet flats. If you possibly could, shoes in the same color as your belt or headband would really tie the outfit together. Add a simple necklace, bracelet, earrings, and ring, and your outfit is complete. Pearl jewelry is perfect for this look.

For a skirt outfit, pick out a lovely, a-line skirt in your favorite shade of blue. The skirt can be ankle or knee length, depending on your particular taste.

Then, find a white shirt with lacy details. The shirt should be rather slim cut when paired with a flowy skirt. We want to look like a lady, not a tent. The shirt should not be so slim cut, however, that you see your belly button crease through it.

Then, add a scarf to your outfit. If you can afford it, a silk scarf would be the perfect addition to your Marian wardrobe. You can either tie the scarf in your hair like a head band and let the ends flow down or drape it around your neck. It's really fun to find different ways to tie a scarf. One of the easiest is the french knot. Simply fold the scarf in half, put on your neck, and bring the ends through the loop created by folding in half. For foot wear, add a pair of sandals, ballet flats, or high heels, depending on your taste or the occasion. Then, add some feminine jewelry, and voila!

Mary is the perfect example of a pure, modest woman. Her clothes reflected her sweet virginity through simple, flowy silhouettes, and tasteful, quiet colors. As Catholic young women, we would do well to imitate her in every aspect, even in the way she dressed.

Mystical Rose, Pray for us!

Marissa Feiring is 18 years old, and a homeschool graduate. She is currently a freshman at Christendom College in VA.

Seek Satisfaction in God

2011-08-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, we must seek satisfaction in God. Today, I've been thinking a lot about my future -- what God's plan for my future is. Will I get married? Will I be a single woman with a career? Will I even have joined a religious order? It's always going to be hard to listen to God's answer, but I have faith and hope that He will speak to me when I am ready to hear.

I wanted to share this quote today. Regardless of whether you're wishing for romance now, or just wondering about the future, it is most important to find rest in Him.

"If you want a relationship to have purpose and meaning, it cannot be isolated from your ultimate purpose and meaning in life. God Himself said that it is not good for you to be alone. But that desire for union must first be filled by Him. Before you can truly love a man, God wants you to be secure and content in His love alone. Only then will you be able to allow Him to love others through you.

Otherwise, a relationship can take the place of God. Instead of being a reflection of God's love, it becomes a replacement for Him. After all, no man's affections can replace the security of knowing the love of God. If your relationship with God is secondary to your relationship with a man, the human relationship can grow into an idol. It will reign over your heart and dictate your level of happiness. Not only is this unfair to the man, it will ultimately end in disappointment. For things to run smoothly, put God first and let Him worry about the rest."

~~From "How to Find Your Soul-mate Without Losing Your Soul" by Jason and Crystalina Evert~~

Relationships cannot fix problems with an individual -- they only exacerbate them. That is why it's important for us to use our single years as preparation: building our virtues and character, and our relationship with God. He knows when we are ready for a relationship, and when we are ready to hear His plan for us.

Remember, God is our stronghold. He is our rock, and we must always trust in Him. I know we've all heard this a hundred times, and I'd love to hear it a hundred more.

{I always find comfort in His beauty.}

A Letter to Myself

2011-08-21T07:02:00.000-07:00

A year ago I wrote myself the following letter...

I’m one day away from being a sophomore in college. You’re one day away from being a junior. In another year we’ll meet, and all the things that will happen between now and then are in my future and your past. When I think of how much the world changed between the beginning of freshman year and now I can’t help but wonder if the difference between the two of us will be as great.

What do you have to look back to that I have to look forward to?

Do you review a past year of serving God, of hard work, of charity, and self-sacrifice for the greater good?

Do you review a past year of laughter, late nights dancing, sharing chocolate and chatter with girlfriends, tea on Saturday mornings with good friends, intellectual conversation, and just being with the people you love?

Do you review a past year of learning, meeting challenges and rising to them, and growing?

Do you review a past year of being exactly the woman God wants you to be in that moment, and journeying closer to discovering what He wants you to be in your future?

These are all the things I look forward to. I hope they’re the things that you’re looking back on.

And I wonder… what are you looking forward to?

See you in a year!

Hard as it is to believe, it's been a year, and I have things to look back on. They aren't all what I hoped they would be. I did not always serve God and act with charity. I did not always spend the time with good friends that I could have. I did not always rise to the challenges that arose. I was not always the woman God wanted me to be.

But sometimes, by His grace, I did and was. Not as often as I would have liked. But the smallest triumphs give me hope and faith... not in myself, but in Him. Because without Him, I couldn't have done it all.

With His grace, further up and further in this year.

One

2011-08-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

This article at the National Catholic Register saddened me.

What do we think marriage is? Our culture says that marriage is breakable and not necessarily permanent. It's not a bond.

And sometimes it seems that even some of us who do consider marriage as unbreakable still view it as a limited bond. We'll live together for the rest of our lives, but I'm still going to do my own thing.

Marriage is not the bond of two people who live together while continuing to pursue their own individual interests. Marriage is the bond of two people who are dedicated primarily to doing something that necessarily demands that they act as one: having and raising children. Marriage is the bond of two people who must be willing to sacrifice their own individual interests for the sake of one another.

In marriage the two become one.

As Jennifer Fulwiler says in the article: Stand close together, eat from the same loaf, drink from the same cup, and, with God at the center, make an unbreakable bond of love.

The Shield Maiden

2011-08-13T07:12:00.000-07:00

---by Arafea, reprinted from her blog A Catholic Teen's Perspective with permission

We've all heard of knights and chivalry. Yet, when it comes to describing the correct place and character of a woman, finding an acceptable definition is slightly more difficult. Within the description of a shieldmaiden I found the answer, and I'm going to break it down as I did the Code of Chivalry. First, here is the definition in full:

"A shieldmaiden is firstly a woman. As a woman she is the keeper of the hearth flame that provides a safe nurturing environment for her family. She is the teacher of her children and lady for her lord. The shieldmaiden has the courage to do the unglamorous daily tasks and to do them graciously. She is an example to her family and the keeper of the peace. She is generous to others while also being generous to herself. She keeps her word no matter how hard to fulfill and she stands by her beliefs. She selflessly serves."

There are many things within this description that I would like to address. First, the stress put upon the fact that - no matter what she is doing - the shield maiden is a woman. She is never going to be a man. This statement may seem pointlessly obvious, yet our modern culture is trying to disprove it. The feminist movement places the woman in the man's position, and tries so hard to prove that the modern woman is independent it loses the true and beautiful essence of womanhood. Chivalrytoday.com goes on to say, "As a woman do not be afraid to show your femininity or to look good, whatever your style. Do not be embarrassed of spending a day shopping or crying over a sappy movie. It is okay to pamper yourself. Try not to get so caught up in being strong you forget to be a woman." This slightly humorous statement is very true. God created women with a different temperament, personality, physical and emotional make-up than men for a reason, do not be afraid to express it! Wear skirts, paint your nails, watch chick flicks, get dressed up, experiment with hair styles, and enjoy all the fun little things that go along with being a woman. As Audrey Hepburn says, "I believe in manicures, I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and... I believe in miracles." Of course, one does not necessarily need to be a "girly-girl" to embrace her gender. But she shouldn't be embarrassed if she enjoys things that men do not. How boring would the world be if women always acted and tried to be like men!

Along with the pretty and care-free side of womanhood, there is another, more important role a lady plays in this world. From Chivalrytoday.com, "As a warrior a shield maiden must have the strength to make her way in a man’s world. She must be willing to get her hands dirty and make sacrifices. She may have to bide her time in an unsavory position until the time to fight is at hand. When that time comes she must have the courage to stand without blame. She keeps her word and is willing to show mercy. She is willing to help others. She stands by her convictions and her commitments." We are called to be strong, yet lovely. Hard-working and gentle. For those women called to motherhood, they must help uphold their families, keep them together, lead them in the right direction, and be willing to fight at the side of her husband when needed. Yet, in everything, the lady must reach out to others. She must put herself last, always seeking to ease the pain and right the wrong surrounding her.

Now, many (including myself) begin to lose heart upon hearing such high standards. It may seem impossible to become such a perfect figure. But, we have an exalted role model who is always ready and willing to help us in following her. That perfect woman is Mary. Her strength and beauty display perfectly God's plan for femininity. When you become downhearted in your efforts to be a virtuous, true lady, turn to the Mother of Christ and she will guide your way.

His Future Wife

2011-08-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

--- by Elizabeth from Twenty Three and Soaring
reprint from September 2008

Other girls, who made this connection long ago, will no doubt shake their heads and smile at my naiveté. But although I've always wanted to be a wife and a mother and although I've always dreamed and talked about My Future Husband (it's a term of endearment in my vocabulary, reserved for One Special Guy!), I've never thought of myself as anyone's future wife.

And then, one day recently, it suddenly hit me:

If God's plan for my life includes marriage, then there's a guy somewhere in the world who is My Future Husband. A real guy. And I'm his future wife. And that's scary! I have no idea who he is or where in the world he is. Right now, that doesn't matter. But the indisputable fact remains that if God's plan for my life includes marriage, I am some guy's future wife ... I am My Future Husband's future wife ... I am his future wife.

The next logical thought was:

What am I doing to get ready for being some guy's future wife ... for being My Future Husband's future wife? One day, My Future Husband will (God willing) be the most important and wonderful 'HE' in my life and heart. What am I doing to get ready for being his wife? The answer was that apart from saving my first kiss for him, I'm not doing much to get ready. Oh.

I happen to think that saving my first kiss for My Future Husband is important (don't get me wrong!), but I think there's more I could – and should! – be doing to get ready. As the years roll by and no young man comes calling (roses and diamond ring at the ready) it's easy to get cynical ... to wonder if any guy is ever going to be 'seriously' interested in quiet little me ... or if My Future Husband has already come and gone and I missed him ... or if God is calling me to singleness.

I don't have a Hope Chest, because for as long as I'm unmarried there is a possibility that God is calling me to singleness. I don't want to reach old age with a Hope Chest full of things that I packed away for when I was a bride ... and never unpacked again, because I never was a bride. I'm waiting until I'm courting or engaged and then I'll buy and fill a Hope Chest. And I'll love every moment of it!

But a Hope Chest is a comparatively easy thing to fill in a few months or years. I can purchase china and embroider pillowcases in that time. A heart and character worthy of My Future Husband and a store of love all ready and waiting for him ... those things can't be purchased and are impossible to create in a few months.

So I've been thinking about some ways in which I can get ready for being his wife. It's so easy to get blasé about being a wife and a mother. For those of us who have already put in over twenty years of daughter-hood, housework and homemaking, sister-hood ... we assume that getting married and entering wife-hood will be quite easy and great fun. (I know ... I've thought this for a long time now!)

And yet ... imagine the awesome privilege and responsibility that will be mine when some guy – My Future Husband – kneels down and asks me to marry him. It will be a privilege to love and encourage him. It will be a responsibility to never make him sorry he asked me to be his wife.

I want to be ready (or as ready as possible!) for that moment ... I want to have a heart and character worthy of him ... I want to have a store of love all ready for him. I want him to know that I saved my first kiss for him. I want him to know that I thought of him and prayed for him before I knew who he was or where in the world he was. I want him to know that I cared enough about him and about being his wife, that I got ready for him and his love.

So until the day when My Future Husband looks into my eyes and tells me he loves me, I'm praying for him and waiting for him; I'm thinking of him and dreaming of being his wife; I'm enjoying today, but looking forward to tomorrow ... with him. Forever. Because although I don't know who he is or where in the world he is, I know that if God's plan for my life includes marriage, My Future Husband is out there somewhere. I know that God will bring us together in His perfect timing. I want to be ready for him. Because his is My Future Husband. And me?

I'm his future wife!

This Divine Solitude

2011-08-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

With the advent of August, many of us will be returning to school or other busy activities that follow the end of the summer and the coming of fall. Our daily schedules can be hectic and our lives very full of commitments and plans that require a lot of our time and attention. In the midst of all this, it can be very difficult to keep a healthy balance and remember to reserve a space in our schedule for our Creator and true Spouse. So, before we find ourselves up to our elbows in the business of classes or work or household labors and realize only at the end of the day the that we’ve given no time or thought to God, here’s a little advice from St. Francis de Sales about what he calls “one of the most certain means to spiritual advancement.”

“During the course of the day recall as often as possible . . . that you are in God’s presence. Consider what God does and what you are doing. You will see his eyes turned toward you constantly fixed on you with incomparable love. Then you will say to him: ‘O God, why do I not look always at you, just as you always look at me? Why do you think so often of me, O my Lord, and why do I think so seldom of you?’ . . .

Birds have nests in trees and can retire to them when need arises and stags have brushes and thickets where they take cover, hide, and enjoy the cool shade during the summer. So also our hearts should each day pick and choose some place, either on Mount Calvary or within our Lord’s wounds or in some other place near him, as a retreat where they can retire at various times to refresh and restore themselves during their exterior occupations. There, as in a stronghold, they can defend themselves against temptations. Blessed will be the soul that can truly say to our Lord: ‘You are my place of strength and my stronghold to give me safety, my roof against the rain, my shade against the heat.’

Always remember, then, to retire at various times into the solitude of your own heart even while outwardly engaged in discussions or transactions with others. This mental solitude cannot be violated by the many people who surround you since they are not standing around your heart but only around your body. Your heart remains alone in the presence of God. . . .

Indeed, our tasks are seldom so important as to keep us from withdrawing our hearts from them from time to time in order to retire into this divine solitude.”

--St. Francis de Sales, “Introduction to the Devout Life”

Prayers for him

2011-08-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

Who would be interested in joining me in a 54-day Rosary Novena for our present or future husbands, beginning tomorrow?

Every so often I'll pray one for my future husband's spiritual well-being, and I thought it would be nice to invite the readers of CYW to join me this time around.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the novena, it basically consists of this: three novenas said in supplication, and three said in thanksgiving. That is, a rosary every day for 27 days for the intention, and then a rosary every day for 27 days in thanksgiving (even if we haven't seen any visible answer).

It's quite a commitment, but it's a beautiful novena, and every single person I know who has prayed it (including myself!) has encountered a great deal of grace in the course of it.

For those of you who are interested, I'll be keeping count of the days on our CYW Facebook page.

Please consider joining us. Prayer is one of the best things we can do for our husbands, whether he's with us now or we're still waiting for his appearance.

Ropes of Diamonds

2011-08-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

--- reprint from April 2008

I am tempted sometimes. Sometimes I look at all the various people around me, and I wonder why I can't have what they have. Why I can't have that beautiful house, or live in that exotic part of the country, or know all those impressive people, or go on ocean cruises in my spare time, and so on and so forth. And I'm tempted to grow discontent with my own life.

I just can't deny that sometimes I wish I had a lot of spare money. I've always felt attracted to luxurious things. I like stepping onto a carpet so rich and deep that I just sink into it. I like spacious and well-tended gardens to roam through. I like sitting back to an easy dinner with people scurrying here and there to serve me properly. And a library, of course, a large one, with shelves lining every wall, and beautiful expensive first editions of the classics. Frankly, I'd love to live in a place like Mr. Darcy's Pemberly, and be rich and at ease.

At the same time as I acknowledge how much I'd like all this, I'm at the same time glad that I don't have it, because it's an opportunity to learn how to get along without all the things I want. It's a form of penance and mortification. And it's a chance to open my eyes and really see what is worth having in this world.

God has granted me something so much more beautiful than all the diamonds and rich carpets. In fact, He's given it to everyone, but sometimes those diamonds sparkle so brightly that they blind us to everything else. That's why I'm grateful that I don't have those diamonds. I'm afraid the temptation would be too much and I'd forget what true beauty is.

True beauty isn't in diamonds and rich carpets, at least not of the kind we would think of. The glittering drops flying up from a sunlit waterfall have a sparkle much more poignant. And the carpeting of the gold and red leaves in the fall is so much richer than all the velvet, because it's something real and more than real. Stand in the wind and spread your arms wide, and as you feel it rush over, you'll realize that no amount of luxuries could ever give you the same thrill of richness and joy.

Can diamonds ever compete with the shimmer of the dew in the soft morning sunlight? Can the most luxurious of beds outmatch the grass on a hillside on a quiet afternoon? Can even that library full of books have more sweetness and sheer joy than a little nook by a tree with one good book to be immersed in?

One of my favorite scenes from the movie Anne of Green Gables is when Anne and Diana stand on the cliffs by the sea, watching the sun set behind the waters. The sea winds are billowing around them, and the world in bathed in a softness of gold and red.

Sometimes I wish that I had more, and then I remind myself that I have all that one person could as for, a world so marvelous and so full of wonder that if I could tear my eyes away from what I don't have and fix them on what I do, I would never grow tired of the sight. I remember what Anne said in that scene: "You know something, Diana? We are rich. We have sixteen years to our credit, and we both have wonderful imaginations. We should be as happy as queens. Look at that. You couldn't enjoy its loveliness more if you had ropes of diamonds."

And nor could I.

P.S. I'm the fellow who sent the roses

2011-07-30T09:52:00.001-07:00

--- reprint from November 2008

It's amazing what that four letter word, "wife", covers when it's applied to you.

It means a companion without whom I'm never quite complete or happy. It means that most desirable woman in the world who gets more desirable every day. It means some one who can make me lonely just by leaving the room.

I live in a perpetual warm glow because of you. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for being my wife.
--- Ronald Reagan to Nancy Reagan

I recently read I Love You, Ronnie: The Letters of Ronald Reagan to Nancy Reagan. I hardly know what to say about it. It's a beautiful read, and I think for those of us who hope and pray for a good man and a long marriage, it is both encouraging and inspiring.

I'm so grateful to Nancy Reagan, not only for sharing her husband's letters with the public through this book, but for writing out her own memories of him and their life together, as well. The story of their marriage is truly beautiful and inspiring, and this book is one of the loveliest I have read in a long, long while.

March 4th [1980]

Good morning Honey. Isn't this an awful way to start an anniversary? I'm where I don't want to be and you're where (I hope) you wish I could be. And where I will be soon - the Lord and an airline willing.

Just think we were married 28 minutes ago. Yes, I know the calender says years but what does it know? Time goes by faster when you are happy and I'm the happiest man in the world. I still think we should clone you. Then we'd leave the clone there and I'd bring you with me.

I've just figured out that if I keep loving and needing you more at the same rate of increase for the next 28 years, every day will be valentine's day and I won't be able to let you out of my sight for more than 5 minutes at a time.

I guess when I was young I thought marriage might be this way for a while: I never knew it could go on and on, getting better and better year after year.

By now you must have figured out that I'm hinting, I love you more than anything in the whole, wide world. I'm running for re-election as your own totally dedicated husband.

I love you
Your husband.

PS. I'm the fellow who sent the roses.

--- from "I Love You, Ronnie: The Letters of Ronald Reagan to Nancy Reagan"